I REALLY REALLY want a girl. do I find out gender?

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by GreenMama, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. GreenMama

    GreenMama Member

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    I have 3 boys, everytime I found out and was disappointed. I love my boys but always wanted at least 1 girl. I don't mind if she grows up into a tomboy and hates pink, but I would still really love a girl.

    I decided not to find out to avoid disappointment. But I am equally concerned at the idea of 20 weeks not knowing, 20 weeks hoping it may be something it is not.

    I tried to ignore my disappointment in the past and pretend I was happy. The disapppointment has always felt worse with each pregnancy which is why I am thinking of waiting. However I am 11 weeks and already out of my mind wondering if it is a girl or boy.
     
  2. Tillyfloss

    Tillyfloss Well-Known Member

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    My friend was the same 3 boys wanted a girl she didn't find out as she knew once given birth she won't care and be so happy that baby was there healthy, if she found out she would be resentful for 20 weeks, if you really want a girl I'd wait for birth as probably be the same x
     
  3. missddk

    missddk Well-Known Member

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    Im feeling ya GreenMama. I have 2 boys but i am finding out with this one on the 20th. I have a massive feeling its a 3rd boy so thinking i will be able to get my head around it if i find out. Of course we will love our bubs no matter what and can only pray for healthy babies but i completely understand your gender desire xo
     
  4. Kholl

    Kholl Well-Known Member

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    I think it's much harder to feel gender disappointment when you meet the baby at birth. I am hoping for one over the other this time and that's actually why I am glad I didn't find out, because I know when I meet that baby the instant love hormones make any kind of boy/girl preference absurd as you are holding your sweet baby in your arms and it's just so wonderful. So I would vote not to find out.
     
  5. TS1982

    TS1982 Well-Known Member

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    I have 2 boys and I'm ttc #3 hoping for a girl but whatever I get I'll be happy as long as baby is healthy xx do you have a scan photo for us to guess xx
     
  6. Tonks82

    Tonks82 Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't find out if you really have a strong preference as like others have said once the baby is here and your looking at their beautiful face you won't care as much.
    Also imagine if you did have a girl wow what a surprise!

    Xxx


     
  7. louise2610

    louise2610 Well-Known Member

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    I think if you have your heart set on a particular sex you should definitely find out sooner rather than later. That way you have time to get your head around it before baby arrives.
     
  8. GreenMama

    GreenMama Member

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    Thank you for the replies, I decided not to find out but keep feeling swayed especially when talking to others about it. I am only 11 weeks :)
     
  9. Laura1992

    Laura1992 Well-Known Member

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    I would find out, but I am incredibly impatient. I would want to have the time to get my head around it and the wait would torture me!
     
  10. louise2610

    louise2610 Well-Known Member

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    Gender disasatisfaction syndrome is pretty serious. Again I'd definitely find out beforehand as you have lots of time to get your head around it & bond better. To be told you've delivered the sex you weren't hoping for can be a shock. Deal with the potential disappointment / joy whatever the case may be now. But that's just my personal opinion.
     
  11. KateK

    KateK Well-Known Member

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    Yes I think i'm inclined to agree with Louise.. I completely see where the other ladies are coming from too but if you feel really strongly i'd find out when you can to give yourself time to process it.. I've read some fairly upsetting posts about gender disappointment on another forum and I think having the time to 'bond' with the baby before it arrives can be really beneficial xx
     
  12. Sunbeam638

    Sunbeam638 Well-Known Member

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    I have two boys already and have decided to find out I would be really happy either way as I see massive benefits to having the same sex after seeing them both grow together.

    I found out two days before labour with second ds what we were having and in all honesty I cried my eyes out for a good hour! But as soon as he arrived it was all forgotten this time round the pregnancy was such a shock we didn't do anything to sway ttc so I'm hedging my bets on boy! Finding out as I have gotten rid of most things!

    Good luck either way!xxx
     
  13. Pambi

    Pambi Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I know a couple of mums who developed postnatal depression relating to gender disappointment. They specifically expected baby to be a boy/girl and it was the other when born though so slightly different.

    Having also had PND but linked to different reasons, I am finding out as I am someone who needs to manage my expectations. I know my mind is likely to run away with me on all sorts of fantasies of holding and having another girl. If its a boy, I will definitely need some time to get my head around it.
     
  14. roxyroo

    roxyroo Well-Known Member

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    I am pregnant with baby number 3 and really want a boy as I've got two girls. I was quite disappointed when I found out she was another girl so this time I'm not finding out X
     
  15. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    I think you are the one who knows best how you will react on the day. With my 1st I really wanted a girl. I thought it was going to be our only baby so it was our only chance for a girl (as it turns out we our on our 3rd now). We found out at the scan. I knew I would soon get over it if it was a boy but I didn't want it to spoil the special moment of birth. She was a girl which I was excited about but felt bad for my OH who wanted a boy. He was soon just as excited about a girl but I am glad we both had time to get used to the idea either way. I can see how some might not care on the day though.
     
    #15 BunnyN, Sep 12, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016

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