I really can't deal with this....

[bagpuss]

For those who may be reading this,and didn't read my previous post,my partner of 17 years left me on halloween.I am having a really hard time,i cannot get over him,no mater what I do I just love him so freakin much....I can't believe he has done this to me...I went around today to drop Finn off,and he is like a stranger - doesn't want me to be there or anything....I stupidly started asking questions ,like why has he done this,why don't I deserve another chance,he is just so cold and horrible,just keeps on saying I am a nasty bitch.....I do speak my mind,but I don't think that is being nasty,just truthful,and I would never deliberately hurt anyone.He even started shouting and blamed me for it.I have to fetch Finn in a bit and he has told me I am not welcome in his house,he'll bring Finn to the car.
You know he only ever mentions the times when I've done something wrong,never the times that he has,cos hes an angel......and stupidly I would have him back,he is the only person I have ever loved I try to be strong in front of him,but I can't help blabbing on,everytime I look at him I want to cry,I feel like I have had my heart torn out....sorry to go on,but I have nobody to talk to,you see he was my best friend too.I just want him,I want to be with him again,I can't believe I feel this strong about him.

 

[loz]

Thinking of you hun - it is really understandable that you are hurting so much, you were together so long. Maybe you need a bit of a break to get thoughts together and he might come round - there might be something on his mind that he is not telling you. Try and protect yourself and be with friends and family who can support you. Christmas and New Year are really tough when you have split with someone. x

 

[Sherlock]

Awwww have some of these

Of course you feel strongly. You have had a huge shock in his leaving. And are still trying to adjust. Hang in there. You are also finding it hard as you don't really understand why he left and why he won't come back.

I wish I could offer more advice. I think I can only really say that stay strong but don't be afraid to have a cry either. Is there anyone you can talk to in person there? Some emotional support? Maybe a counseller, someone impartial?

Give yourself time, its a great healer, it really is. I know it may feel like the world is ending now, but try to remain positive and don't let yourself fall into a depression over it.

Hopefully, at some point in the future you'll be able to talk to him about things without his being so cold. I'd not try talking and asking now as it doesn't seem to be doing any good. Maybe he is being like that to keep you at arms length?

Have some more of these

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I dont know what too say, but ive been in the same situation as you and i know how much your hurting. The only thing you can do is try to get over him - it sounds like hes not coming back sweetie and not ready to talk.

When hes ready too talk youl know - can you think of anything that happened before the break up that you think may have triggered it?

And you need some of these

 

[bagpuss]

thanks for your hugs and replies - it means a lot.
I cannot think of anything that could have made him do this-it was after his Uncles funeral,he had had a bit to drink,and he never drinks,he said I was nasty at the funeral and after it because when I took him home to get changed I said that I wouldn't wait for him,because I was worried about him walking home later that night.There wasn't any build up to it in the previous weeks. And I really do try not to ask questions but they just slip out - I just keep replaying the whole situation over in my head,and just want answers,I really do try not to bother him,but I am so lonely without him.this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me

 

[Redshoes]

I hope 2008 brings new friends into your life bagpuss, and its OK you still love your X, and you will one day love him less, until one day you don;t think about him for a day, and then you'll find other things in life that replace thoughts of him, just takes time, wishing you lots of happy moments and give Finn lots of hugs, he'll help lots I'm sure

 

[jenna]

 

[kalia]

 

[Babylicious]

 

[leckershell]

 

[MissSara]

Hope you can have a brill new year and maybe a fresh start to life.
What about taking a short break away just to have some YOU time? xxx