catswiskers
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2014
- Messages
- 416
- Reaction score
- 0
ok so I should really be talking to my hubby about this but he's going through it as well.
so as some of you already know our 4th darling child passed away at 6 days old. We had the awful task of deciding to remove life support which I regret every single day. On the 7th may its been a year since he was born.
we have all been grieving so bad and it got to the point where our 3 other kids were struggling at school so I now home school them.
in Dec we decided that trying for another baby would be good for us all, like a light at the end of a tunnel.
I'm 7 weeks now and we are acting so much differently to what I thought we would.
Me and my hubby NEVER talk about the baby and if one of us mentions it the other one will change the subject. I do the same if one of the kids mentions it, I will talk about something else.
when we first found out my hubby said if its a girl we can call her Chloe because it rhymes with Joey (our angel) all I said was 'no' and left the room.
it's not that we dont want the baby because we do, I know its because we are both scared to get excited in case the same thing happens.
Not once can I even let myself imagine giving birth and then coming home with our little bundle of joy.
I cant even think about the future when it comes to the baby.
you see with Joey my 12 week scan was fine and so was my 20 week scan and at 26 weeks I had a massive bleed where my placenta came apart. It was so unexpected and sudden!
me and joey nearly both died while I was in labour.
it was the darkest time of our lives!
the signs were always there that something wasn't right, I was spotting on and off from an early stage and as I got into the 20 weeks my Braxton hicks were pretty intense and I had a show at 25 weeks.
I also feel guilty that im pregnant after we let Joey go!
im sure as soon as I've had my first scan the excitement will come with it but I never expected to emotionally feel this way about the pregnancy after losing Joey.
im just too scared to think positive. I guess I'm in the mindset where im expecting the worse but hoping for the best. I've had no signs that anything is wrong with the baby so fingers crossed for a happy healthy pregnancy.
sorry for the long post but this is the first time I've spoke about it and I just needed to say it to someone xx
so as some of you already know our 4th darling child passed away at 6 days old. We had the awful task of deciding to remove life support which I regret every single day. On the 7th may its been a year since he was born.
we have all been grieving so bad and it got to the point where our 3 other kids were struggling at school so I now home school them.
in Dec we decided that trying for another baby would be good for us all, like a light at the end of a tunnel.
I'm 7 weeks now and we are acting so much differently to what I thought we would.
Me and my hubby NEVER talk about the baby and if one of us mentions it the other one will change the subject. I do the same if one of the kids mentions it, I will talk about something else.
when we first found out my hubby said if its a girl we can call her Chloe because it rhymes with Joey (our angel) all I said was 'no' and left the room.
it's not that we dont want the baby because we do, I know its because we are both scared to get excited in case the same thing happens.
Not once can I even let myself imagine giving birth and then coming home with our little bundle of joy.
I cant even think about the future when it comes to the baby.
you see with Joey my 12 week scan was fine and so was my 20 week scan and at 26 weeks I had a massive bleed where my placenta came apart. It was so unexpected and sudden!
me and joey nearly both died while I was in labour.
it was the darkest time of our lives!
the signs were always there that something wasn't right, I was spotting on and off from an early stage and as I got into the 20 weeks my Braxton hicks were pretty intense and I had a show at 25 weeks.
I also feel guilty that im pregnant after we let Joey go!
im sure as soon as I've had my first scan the excitement will come with it but I never expected to emotionally feel this way about the pregnancy after losing Joey.
im just too scared to think positive. I guess I'm in the mindset where im expecting the worse but hoping for the best. I've had no signs that anything is wrong with the baby so fingers crossed for a happy healthy pregnancy.
sorry for the long post but this is the first time I've spoke about it and I just needed to say it to someone xx