I have jumped back on the Wedding Bandwagon

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by flexilexi394, Apr 11, 2016.

  1. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    So, for those that might remember, I got engaged on November 29th, then we found out we were expecting just 3 days later, which of course was magical.

    Anyway, I thought a lot about doing a quickie registry office wedding, then we decided against it because it's not really my style.

    So now I have decided I just need to set a date, maybe 2018 time to give plenty of recovery and dieting time after baby is born, and I am torn as to what to do.

    I have my heart set on a church service for the actual ceremony, so I am asking for cool reception ideas!

    I have visited one venue which is a hotel nearby and its all very nice but a little too formal for my liking, like I want something like a buffet BBQ for the meal. I have just enquired about a local barn hire for weddings too with awesome scenery and onsite camping which might be fun!

    Anyone got any experiences or any bright ideas for me? I know wedding planning is pretty stressful but I don't plan on overloading myself with the stress I just want it to be as stress free as possible, hence why planning it 2 years in advance might work to my advantage :)
     
  2. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    My wedding ceremony was in my church and I had the reception in a little place on the harbour side where I live. It was lovely getting some photographs there it was beautiful, it has been my favorite place since I was a little girl so it was the ideal place! Good luck making decisions, I planned mine in 3 weeks (we got married a year to the day of the proposal so it wasnt like I had to rush!) I just like to organize things.

    We had a candy cart and walked all round the harbour and a 3 course sit down meal. I decorated it all with my husband the night before and made it look perfect. I made all of the menus, name plates and gave each table a name made those signs too. I am all excited at the idea of someone else doing it, I loved it!
     
  3. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Sparklegirl! It sounded beautiful - just how I want my wedding day to be.

    I also think I will have a go at making things like menus etc. Because I'm not crafty at all but want to try and learn and at least I can achieve something by doing some crafty bits and pieces!

    Question - I know normally for a sit down meal you have set places for people, but do you really have to do that? What would happen if I left it as a sit where you like type dinner?

    I am so excited to start really getting into it. I have booked the meeting with the clergy so that is at least one step and there's an open day for the venue I want coming up so I'm gonna go to that too. Then I can actually start booking things and getting it in motion!
     
  4. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Not that Im married but I helped SIL with hers. She spent 5000 on her whole thing, church, hotel reception although the food wasnt amazing... But it was a nice day.

    She made her placement cards, save the dates, seating plans, invites, favours, center pieces so alot of that was cut. She printed out loads on nice paper, stuck it to nice card and put silver ribon through doesnt sound all great but it was lovely all matching and nicely done.

    If its in the summer I think the barn and bbq sounds lovely.

    Seating is always upto you guys obv and can be stressful but its so that both sides of the family actually sit and mingle, get to know one another and share a bonding meal of 2 families if you like.. Incase they all just sit on one side or the other, or stick to cliques and it can keep certain fam members seperate if need be ;) SIL had little games like the card question games she made too for ice breakers before food and speeches.

    Weddings are totally personal. So its really about you and adam and what you love, thats what makes it special so if you want a bbq in a barn go for it. Sounds beaut. Can imagine all nice bunting etc. Can do alot of shabby chic decor home made too if you do a barn. Like sometimes big formal flowers and stuff dont look suited. Depending on the barn.

    xxxx
     
  5. fairyprincess

    fairyprincess Well-Known Member

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    Eek so exciting! I had quite a formal wedding in a big Manor House (I would have eloped if it was just up to me) but it was beautiful and I loved every min.

    Love the barn idea with camping- so much fun and you could do so much with the decor! X
     
  6. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Ahh thanks ladies!!

    So with the seating I would just put people kind of wherever? I have no clue with this sort of thing haha, I will do some research into seating arrangements to help me out.

    Ahh FP sounds gorgeous, I love that idea too but I think people would laugh at me because I am not a very formal person at all and a barn waaaaay suits me better hahaha.

    It is so exciting, I can't wait to book the church and venue, now I have meetings set up with both of them, I should have them booked by the summer!

    I will probably give making the invites and save the dates a go as well, but I haven't ever done anything like that so I am a bit scared of spending money on them then completely effing it up to be honest but I guess you an only try!

    I have seen some awesome wedding invites too to get some inspiration lol.

    Luckily I have like 2 years til I want the wedding now so I don't immediately have to dress shop etc and i kinda know what sort of dress I want anyway so it will be a case of trying on much later on.



    My next dilemma - Bridesmaids.

    So, I was a bridesmaid for an old friend 2 years ago, it was a very formal and expensive wedding, and they got a divorce 15 months later.

    I actually wouldn't have had her as a choice of bridesmaid at all, just because shes an old friend doesn't make her a close friend but since being engaged she has made it quite clear she expects to be a bridesmaid which makes things really awkward!

    A couple of other friends have also said they would like to be bridesmaid, and this has all completely put me off having any bridesmaids whatsoever, I might just have Sofia at this rate!

    What would you guys do in this situation??

    I have decided as it is 2 years away anything could happen so I won't even begin to think about bridesmaids until next summer at least, and if I decide to have some friends as bridesmaids I can start worrying about them then, but truth be told I am not minted so wont really be able to afford anything too fancy for them anyway!

    Help me lol
     
  7. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    Most people were trying to push me into a buffet style because apparently that is now the norm but knowing me i was not going to do that, it just wasnt me. If you want people to pick a set wherever they fancy, go for it! I named my tables after the mountains and lakes from where I live, it felt quite appropriate but you can make your day as you want it, dont be told how things should be done, go with your heart

    Good to see you have got the ball rolling, I caused chaos in my church when I asked for a vicar to preside over the wedding after he moved to a new parish years ago. I got him though, it was important to me so thats why you should def go for whatever you want. Exciting times, I loved the planning! So much went wrong on the day it was terrible but for me, its all about the marriage not just the wedding and coming up on 2 years into the wedding here we are TTC so something must have gone right!
     
  8. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Ahh thanks for that advice, I guess I want to do it my way and I am seeking confidence in others that this is normal lol.

    Oh no I am sorry it went wrong! what went wrong?!?!?!

    Yeah it definitely is all about the actual marriage, which is why I wasn't originally bothered about having a big wedding but I am happy enough to wait so I can just have the fun and special day that I do deep down want, and to have people around me to enjoy it!

    I am not one to be centre of attention at all either, I don't really like that idea so I just want it to be family and close friends really with a bloody good booze up in the evening xx
     
  9. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    We spent (minus my stupidly expensive dress) just over 7k on our wedding and didn't scrimp on anything. We also booked it 20 months in advance so it gave us plenty of time to save and find deals etc.

    We found a beautiful big country style house, that also happened to be a council owned building. We hired the whole house with private gardens for the day for barely £500. We loved it and basically had free reign of the place! My minister came to us so we could have the full thing in the one place, that kept some costs down too.

    We then hired in caterers, which we spent a bit more on but still way less than a sit down meal. We didn't want the traditional courses as that just wasn't us. Instead we had a feast which I would do again in a heartbeat. The food was amazing and came to each table on huge platters so you could have as little or a as much as you want. Our starter was antipasti style, which was perfect as it was a hot day. The main was 2 choices of meats with either sweet potato mash or crispy roasties and then roasted root veg. The dessert was in the style of a dessert table, so about 10 choices of cake which all got cut up after being on display for pics etc, and served on platters with creams and sauces on the side. It was a big hit!

    We found a videography company that was just starting out so got a fab deal for them.

    I decorated the whole venue myself after collecting and making loads of vintage items over the 20 months. My canapés were also afternoon tea with mini scones and cream/jam served on all the China I collected. Was cheap and effective :)

    I found an independent girl who done all my stationary and was fab. Everything matched and she gave me a great deal! You could also make it yourself as Claire suggested!

    My wedding cake was a family member. She also made matching cupcakes which i doubled up as place settings. I got little flags from eBay with roses on them and wrote everyone's names on them. Doubling things up saved money but still looked good!
    My favours were mini homemade strawberry jams in vintage decorated jars which were inexpensive and everyone loved too!

    My flowers I was getting ridiculous quotes for. I'm the end I found a florist who worked from a little office in her home and I paid her half the price the big florists wanted. My flowers were amazing too, she got them spot on!

    We paid more for food and photography which we always said we wouldn't scrimp on. Everything else we hunted about and found deals, having time was great to be able to do that!

    There's loads and loads I could go on about but there's a few ideas to keep costs down. Anything I can help with let me know! Xx
     
  10. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    Village halls might be worth looking at for reception ideas as you can usually use whatever suppliers you like and totally do your own thing.

    We got married abroad, just the two of us, but had a massive reception back home a month later. We wanted to do our own thing and lots of venues were too restrictive and a marquee was too expensive. We had our reception at an agricultural showground in the end, which was great as there was loads of outdoor space and we just got a room as a blank canvas to do what we wanted with.

    We debated the table plan and having one or not a lot. In the end we assigned tables to people (but not actual seats) as it was easier to do this than to have people trying to squeeze onto tables that were 'popular' and leaving big spaces on others (and we have some relatives who don't get on so we could sit them at opposite ends of the room to keep the peace).

    Bridesmaid wise you have a nice get out of being able to choose just your daughter if you wanted to. In your situation I would probably do this. I've not actually seen one of my bridesmaids since my reception 5 years ago! We were close but we moved away and haven't really stayed in touch.

    If you want to do your own flowers I recommend buying straight from the flower markets in Amsterdam and having them shipped over. I got loads of beautiful flowers for a fraction of the cost in the UK. If you do your own leave plenty of time, mine took about 6 hours and I only had them informally in jugs and jars rather than arranging them.

    I also made my own cake, even with a sponge cake you can do it a few days in advance as long as you ice it to seal it it will last really well.

    There are so so many things you can do, choose what you love and don't worry about what others think, they can do it their way at their own weddings.
     
  11. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Oh my goodness ladies thank you both so much for your amazing ideas!

    Well... I have done a little more research and turns out the original place we were going to book is the cheapest and easiest option £4300 for the hire of the venue, sit down meal and half a bottle of wine per person, and also the evening buffet and the tables and table linen are included!

    So that might be the way we go for it as the other options were getting far too expensive.

    I'm gonna visit that bride2web or whatever it's called store for cheap wedding dresses, and I have scalped eBay and found loads and loads of stuff so I am going to get ordering soon!! I'm so excited to book this and get it all underway.

    I have sorted the DJ and the cake - my mate makes cakes so she's given me a good cake price.

    I plan on possibly making my invites or if I chicken out I will probably go onto vista print or something and do them that way, they aren't expensive so that is good.

    So many cool ideas I've found too just to add a bit of jazz to the day... I don't want people bored or anything lol.

    for the favours, I've found a company that do little hand made soap bars! I thought that would be super cute and you can buy kids wedding favours as activity packs all ready made on eBay and we will have at least 11 children there so that might be good!

    It's all becoming real to be honest as I'm looking and starting to actively get it all together.

    Another amazing idea I found was paper flowers! I might order my bouquet and Sofia's bouquet in paper and as the centre pieces order a load of paper flowers to match the theme! Then I bet you could find someone to like squish them and frame them afterwards or something (not that I'm that previous about things like that) and Adam and whoever he has as a best man can have a little button hole paper flower lol.

    I majorly appreciate these awesome ideas you're throwing my way though guys if you remember anything else or have Advice please do post it! Xxx
     
  12. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    You can also get amazing deals at a lot of venues if you are willing to get married mid week. Might be worth considering as I know there is a castle down the road from me that costs about 15k on a Sat and 3k on a Wed, now that is insane.

    We didn't give favours, neither have any of the other weddings I've been to in the last few years so I don't think they are necessary unless you really want to give something. We spent the money on more food as I would hate for people to have been hungry (as we have been at a few weddings).

    I love the idea of paper flowers. I had artificial flowers for my bouquet as it had to travel abroad. They still look amazing (and very real, noone ever believes they aren't) I have them in a vase in my sitting room.

    Outdoor games are always fun, there are companies that hire stuff if you don't have any of your own. My friend had a bouncy castle (supposedly for the children, but we got some great photos of us adults on there!) and that was loads of fun.

    If you are looking for a cheaper dress have you considered second hand? There are a few companies like Bridal Reloved that stock as new quality dresses at much lower prices. My biggest bit of advice is go and try on loads of different styles and colours as you might be surprised what you end up liking the best. Also don't discount bridesmaid dresses as a wedding dress, most can be ordered in any colour and can easily look like wedding dresses (if that is the look you want of course, I had a short patterned dress as I wasn't keen on the long pale look.).
     
  13. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the tips!! yeah loads of venues round here are cheaper midweek but I am thinking kids at school etc, so I want to do it in the summer holidays probably end of July in 2018 to avoid this!

    I am unsure about the wedding favours things I think they are just a nice touch :D but I will budget for them and see how it goes.

    I didn't even think of second hand dresses to be honest, that is a very good point, the shop I was trying to think of yesterday is called wed2b and they do mega cheap dresses! So I have a few options. I am so excited to be organising this wedding, I kinda wish it was next year but I know there is gonna be far too much pressure to get it done in that sort of time frame with me being on maternity pay and with a little baby that won't quite be 1 when we do get married... I will just have to be patient lol xx
     

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