I feel so lonely!

[keepontrying]

i am really struggling, my partner left me after promising he would always be here. My friends are rallying around me so much but im so lonely without him, its killing me!
I dont understand any of it, how he can walk away weeks before our son comes. I know is out and about and i also have a feeling he has met some one else - just intuition!
He is so distant and quiet - its like he just does not care about me anymore - im sat here sobbing wondering how im gonna deal with a newborn alone.

 

[So_hopeful81]

Aw bless you honey!
I am sooo sorry that you are feeling this low and lonely. I know it's horrible, but honestly, please believe me that you will get stronger!
Massive, huge cuddles!!!
Xxx

 

[tillzy69]

Big hugs to you girly! How awful for you! If you do have to deal with your son alone im sure you'll do an absolute fabulous job!

 

[BabyBrain]

Oh hun it's a crap situation. Some men just seem to be able to up and walk away at the drop of a hat. It won't be long now though until you have a little man in your life who is going to love you forever, and his dad is the one who'll lose out.

Please try to keep your chin up xxxxxxxxx

 

[keepontrying]

I know this is such a self pitying thread but im just so sad - I love this guy and i thought he loved me, he has walked away scot free whilst i have exhausted myself recently.

He has not asked if i have everything i need for the baby, offered and money. Today i worked all day in teh garden building a shed, i have decorated the nursery, had to shift furniture, build the cot, move a tumble dryer, move house, everything alone. I just want him to come back, hug me and tell me he is sorry........... but the knock never comes.

This isnt what i planned or wanted. I just hate dealing with these emotions - im struggling big time.

 

[Jaxx01]

Hun, you will be able to deal with a newborn alone...because as soon as you look into your babies eyes, you have this overwhelming desire to protect them! You do it because you have to. Its really not that bad hunni...I don't know your situation fully but I know you will be fine xxxx

 

[bidsy]

i'm so sorry hun, you will be a fantastic mummy and you'll get all the cuddles and all the love. Be strong I cant imagine how you must feel but there are some lovely ladies on here who you will find supportive if you need to chat xxxxx

 

[So_hopeful81]

But does it not occur to you, that he is allowing you to do all of this alone. To me this does not sound like someone who deserves not only you, but also your precious little boy!
Xxx

 

[keepontrying]

LAdies thank you, i appreciate your words - it just seems right now i cant find any comfort in anything.

 

[hellywelly]

Soon you will have comfort in your gorgeous baby, and the fact you have already managed all that stuff on your own means you are already so much stronger than you think you are. Don't be afraid to accept any help offered, and we are always here for a chat. xxxx

 

[TORino]

Sorry you are having to go through this hun. Do you think there is any chance of a reconciliation?

Why has he left?

you sound like a tough cookie despite the difficult situation you are in. Focus your energy on your LO, who will be here shortly xx

 

[JoJo79]

Not sure what to say that hasn't already been said, but we are all here for you night or day.

From what you've said he doesn't deserve to be a part of yours or your sons life and I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job of raising your baby xx

 

[keepontrying]

This is it - i just dont get it. He says we werent getting on.
We had to leave our home, move into a studio annex at his parents, struggled financially, worries with the baby - yes it took its toll but he pulled away and refused to work at it.
He says he wants to be a dad and can still be a good one but he is so juvenile and really does not understand it . I was a child who had their 'dad' visit once per week - there is no father in that - its a play date thats all.
I have begged him to open up and speak to me, now i hardly hear from him.
I just dont understand any of it at all. I am refusing to contact him as it seems the needier i am the more distant he becomes... but by god its killing me!
I dont know what to do about the birth - part of me thinks fuck you and does not want him there - but i know that when in labour i will be thinking of him and be upset. i also think and hope that maybe if he wss there to experience that emotion he would realise what he is throwing away... but what if he doesnt, what if he walks away after???

 

[JoJo79]

Again

If he is with you through the birth and experiences that miracle and still walks away then you are both def better off without him (imo)

I had sorta the same thing with my eldest daughters father (altho dd was 14mths old when we split) I thought all was fine, we were due to move back in together after a while apart and he just came in one night and told me he'd met someone else and it was over! Straight out of the blue i had no clue it was coming.

I like you was totally devastated, thinking back now i was prob more upset at what my daughter would miss out on, but you know something hunni she hasnt missed out on anything!

Yes she has regular contact with him which is good for her.

After the initial shock has worn off you may see things more clearly and trust me when i say you can get through this xxxx

 

[Loula]

you will get through this it might not feel like it right now but things will pick up. xxx

 

[BabyBrain]

I'm sorry hunny but to me it sounds like you and baby have had a lucky escape. If he's willing to walk away from the mother of his unborn child and let you do all of this yourself then he's a complete tosser. So what if you had money worries? We all have them and decent people work through them not throw a strop and stomp off. Funnily enough, you posted on my thread about my SIL well her husband has used their money worries as an excuse for his affair.....it's not the money worries it's the fact that both these men are actually wankers of the highest order and don't deserve the women breaking their hearts over them in the first place let alone any children.

You keep your head held high. After everything you have been through with your lost babies and now this how dare he sit there happy as larry getting off scot free whilst you struggle. Sounds harsh but I hope he ends up with a nasty little rash somewhere unpleasant!

You're wonderful xxxxxxxxxx

 

[leannesxb]

Oh hun. You know I have been through the same. You are strong you have to be for your baby and you will survive this. Its not gonna be hearts and roses no matter what happens there will be some really hard times and days when you think you will have a meltdown but you will stay strong because you have no choice.

He will be the one who misses out on it all and everytime you cry just think of what you have that he doesn't. You get the cuddles, kisses, first words and steps. You get everything. I absolutely adore my OH but I am feeling slightly sad in a way that I am sharing this experience as with Dylan it was (I know it sounds a little selfish) all mine. I made the decisions, I got to experience everything. Sounds strange I know.

You will look back in years to come when you have found your prince and think why on earth did I even care about a man like that. He is in no way worth your tears or sadness. Men that walk out on their partners when they are most vunerable are cowards. xxxx

 

[My1stBaby]

well said leanne!

im so sorry you have to go through this, especially with all your other worries too no one deserves this. BUT, as all the other ladies have said, your baby will love you no matter what!! you will have unconditional love for eachtother that could never match that of a partner. i cant believe someone can leave their heavily pregnant partner and offer no help, its shocking and it makes it obvious that he is so not worth your tears. i know you feel like you will never get over it but you actually will!! a break up is so so awful and hard but each day that passes you're on your way to getting over it.

in relation to the birth, yes invite him as he surely wont want to miss out on that, but try not to think that it will bring you together, becuase it will only cause more heartbreak if he doesnt.

im sorry if these words are just words and dont actually make you feel any better but i really hope you find the strength somewhere to be positive and try to move on.

and if that doesnt work you could always buy a voodoo doll of him

loads of love xxxx

 

[nikkie88]

Oh no hun, this is so sad!.... MEN are rubbish!........
- once u meet baby you will feel a love like no other and will wonder why u worried so much.

Hope you sort it out, but no REAL man would walk away from it all, it's been a stuggle and the first thing he does is walk out... i think he needs a slush puppy in the face!! x

p.s- sounds like you wont be alone if you have plenty of friends running round after you, don't think they will allow you to struggle! x

 

[keepontrying]

Thank you ladies - your words today have given me some strength. Im having a good period and thats all i can do right now - is cry when i need to and hate him where possible. Your all so right in what your saying - what kind of 'man' would walk away at this time, what kind of family would justify that tohim... fuck them they are all going to lose out. they think and say that he can be a real dad, how bloody blinkered- he wont be a dad he will be a once a fortnight playmate.

My little boy can get what he needs from me, i have enough love, experience, morals and dreams for him. I will bring him up to be a better, more responsible, mature and capable man than his father could ever be.

Thanks once again and hopefully i wont have to come on here for too many of these support threads... im just praying that when my boy is here, i look at that helpless relient little miracle my desperation will turn to nothing but loathing !

Im grieving for my son and what he is losing out on but in reality what the hell could this prat offer myw wonderful son??

xxxx