i feel so guilty!!!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy After Loss' started by catswiskers, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. catswiskers

    catswiskers Well-Known Member

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    its coming up to a year since my son joey passed away from a bleed on the brain caused from placenta abruption. We were told one minute that his quality of life would be so poor and the kindest thing to do was to let him go but on the other hand we were told they couldn't predict how severe or mild his disabilities would have been. I refused to let him go but after being nagged by consultants I agreed to have his life support removed. He survived for 12 hours off life support where me and my husband took it in turns to cuddle him until his little heart stopped beating. He was 6 days old.
    we all struggled with his death and I even had to take my other kids out of school because they were struggling and weren't getting the right support so I now home school them.

    in Dec we decided to start ttc because we thought it would do everyone good to have something positive to look forward too.
    I got my bfb last week and now its happened I'm feeling all kinds of emotions.
    I agreed to my sons life support to be removed and I fall pregnant less then a year later! I feel so guilty for Joey ☹
    what if it happens again and what on earth would that do to us all.
    when I was in labour with joey i lost so much blood I nearly died too and now I think s*it what am I doing?
    I'm too scared to be excited, I'm too scared to think too far ahead.
    dont get me wrong I want this baby more then anything but I'm terrified of history repeating itself x
     
  2. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    :(

    I'm sure it was just bad luck with the placental abruption last time. I'm sure it won't happen again.

    But you'll probably find once you get booked in with the midwife they'll be able to reassure you more and may refer you to the consultant if that's what you want.
     
  3. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for such a tragic loss. My cousins little boy had a bleed on the brain (different circumstances though) and he died after 4 days but she has had 3 children after losing him. Its natural to worry about history repeating itself but it didnt with her, I know each person is different but I have my fingers crossed for you
     

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