i feel so down

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by Mrs P, Nov 20, 2005.

  1. Mrs P

    Mrs P Well-Known Member

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    :cry: :cry: My AF is late but i had a very slight bit of spotting last week. I just tested and BFN BFN BFN BFN.

    We have been trying for 9 months and NOTHING! :cry: :cry: Ive had enough. I cant help but think there is a problem with my system as my DH got pregnant with a previous girlfriend but she miscarried, so he must be fine.

    Does anyone else out there know how i feel :?:

    Amy
     
  2. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    Hi Amy,

    I'm sorry to read you're so down, I don't really know how you feel, i was very lucky to conceive as quick as I did (3/4 months) I had prepared myself for it to take at least 6 months to a year but I do feel for you.

    I found this on a website (if you didn't already know the percentages)

    sA woman's chance of getting pregnant varies with her age.

    Chance of Conceiving in Any One Month, by Age:
    Early 20s: Up to 25 percent conceive
    Late 20s and early 30s: Up to 15 percent conceive
    Late 30s: Up to 10 percent conceive

    Your Chance of Conception
    If you are in your late 20s and early 30's and are having sex without birth control two to three times a week:

    60 percent will conceive in six months
    75 percent will conceive in nine months
    80 percent will conceive in twelve months
    90 percent will conceive in eighteen months


    Were you on the pill beforehand? Don't want to sound patronising but are you sure you are BD when you're ovulating?

    As long as you remember everyone is different and it takes different amounts of time to conceive. I know alot of girls at work (i work for an airline) that have tried for years to get preggers, one took 10 years!!! the poor love, I did think it would takes ages for me coz flying is so bad for your health but it didn't so who knows, I guess it's written in the stars.
    All I can say to you hun is try and relax about it and try not get to stressed as that can delay things. Your time WILL come and when it does you'll appreciate it even more.
    I doubt there is anything wrong with you but if you are really worried talk to your doctor about it.

    Remember we are all here for you and will help as much as we can.

    *Hugs*

    Nicki.x
     
  3. Mrs P

    Mrs P Well-Known Member

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    Hi Nicki,

    Thanks so much for your reply. I came off the pill very early january so maybe its gonna take a little more time. We try to BD around ovulation every 2 days i usually calculate it about 14 days after AF starts.

    We BD most of the month whenever we can!!! :lol:

    It cant be that women can only concieve whils she is ovulating?? Im sure my friend at work, also TTC, heard someone concieved straight after AF finished??

    The stats you provided gave me some hope! Maybe i also tested too soon AF was only due last weds, and 30% of women get implantation bleeding! Could it have been that i saw? I still have a little hope in the back of my mind :)

    Thanks again,

    Amy xxx
     
  4. Blackfairykitten

    Blackfairykitten Well-Known Member

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    well we've been tryin for 7 months and i'm getting slightly impatient, the same happened with my OH with an ex so i know it can be annoying!
    I have found that charting my results on fertilityfriend.com has helps as it predicts when it thinks you ovulate. If i'm not this month then i'm gonna have a break month for christmas and then go to the doctors in the new year as my luteal phase is fairly short. Pm me if you wanna chat or add me on msn.

    xx
     
  5. Mrs P

    Mrs P Well-Known Member

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    luteal phase?? What is that? we agreed if nothing happens by january we will take a trip to ths docs!
     
  6. lucybluebell

    lucybluebell Member

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    Sweetheart, don`t worry :) It takes an average of 18 months to get pregnant.
    If it makes you feel any better it took me 14months to get pregnant with my 1st daughter, 1 month to get pregnant with my 2nd daughter ( :shock:) and 6 months to get pregnant with my 3rd daughter!!!!
    Don`t worry, I`m sure it will happen.
    Have you tried that Calista ovulation test from superdrug, you can use it as many times as you want, it worked for me :)
    Good luck love, its early days for you, keep us posted!
    love Lucy xx
     
  7. LouisecH

    LouisecH Well-Known Member

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    Hello

    Sorry to hear you're feeling down.

    You're friend probably conceived straight after Af because she ovulated very early.

    My advice would be to BD every day or every other day if possible. It worked for me and I was told by my doctor that although they used to say not to BD too much due to quality of sperm, they now believe the more the better.

    If you don't get proper AF see your doctor. It took me a while to get a BFP!

    Fingers crossed for you
     
  8. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear you feel so down Mrs P - it can be so depressing when every month we get our hopes up and then are let down with a big bang when we get the BFN.. but if AF has still not shown up there is still hope.

    I echo what everyone on here has said... we are all different and therefore it takes different things and timings etc but I would seriously recommend the charting as blackfairykitten suggested.. it really helps us know when / if we are ovulating.. it is the biggest myth out there that women ovulate 14 days after AF starts.. I ovulate day 12 / 13 so it really is an individual thing.. temperature charting has helped me become more knowledgeable about my cycles so hopefully will get that BFP again someday soon.

    I am not really ttc at moment as had m/c in August and certain gynae issues have come to light recently but I will still chart as the info is very valuable to me for when i do start ttc again.

    good luck and keep your chin up.. it will happen one day :wink:
     
  9. Bagpuss17

    Bagpuss17 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry that you're feeling so down Mrs P. We all understand how you're feeling.

    If you haven't already got this book, I would highly recommend that you buy Toni Weschlers "Taking Charge of your Fertility Book".

    It completely educated me and made me realise that we hadn't got pregnant before because we were probably bd'ing at completely the wrong times of the month.

    I read that book, bought some ovulation sticks and on the second month I started temping but that month we also got our BFP.
     
  10. Mrs P

    Mrs P Well-Known Member

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    :) :) thankyou all for your kind words of support. congratulations bagpuss on your pregnancy :) :) im still very slightly spotting brown CM, no sign of proper AF, Maybe there is hope yet.

    Amy xxxxxxx
     
  11. lucybluebell

    lucybluebell Member

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    Hi Amy love
    just wondered how you were :)
    love lucy xx
     
  12. Lindsay

    Lindsay Well-Known Member

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    Hi Amy

    I know exactly how you are feeling - my DH and I were trying for 14 months. I had really given up all hope of ever getting my BFP. I had been to the doctors and they had started to test to see if I could conceive. I had both the 5 day and the 21 day blood tests, and got my BFP before the results were back. I believe that I relaxed after thinking that someone else was worrying about me.

    Please don't give up hope - your time will come. I know that it doesn't help but it takes an average couple 18 months to fall pg - my doctor told me that!

    Keep positive, your time will come!

    Xxx
     
  13. Mrs P

    Mrs P Well-Known Member

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    Hi lucy and lyndsay,

    We are trying not to think about getting a BFP now, just getting on with life and when it happens it happens! Me and DH have decided to seek help from the doctors in the new year as it will be a year since we started trying. The trouble now is the dentist i work with, his girlfriend is pregnant and due in 7 months and she conceived by accident when she changed pills!!!!! :evil: SO UNFAIR! So i have to listen to him going on 8 hours a day! DOESNT HELP! :cry:

    Thanks again for your kind words of support,

    Amy xxxx baby dust to all how desperatly needs it :wink:
     
  14. lucybluebell

    lucybluebell Member

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    Oh Amy that`s just so annoying for you, especially as they weren`t even trying! :evil:
    Sending LOADS of baby dust your way!!!
    Honestly I used to spend hours worrying that I would never get pregnant and have children, and here I am with 3 little girls! :lol: I has a good feeling that it will happen for you, glad your`re just getting on with life, its the best thing :D
    love Lucy xx
     
  15. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi Amy

    I know how annoying it can be to get your AF every month and the worry we put ourselves through thinking we'll never get a BFP... but i just want to say it will happen and probably the month you think you didn't BD enough or at the right time...

    I was off the pill for 14 months before I got my BFP... and i can honestly say at times I couldn't ever imagine myself getting a positive on a pregnancy test... At the 12 month i went for a smear and then month 14 i went for blood tests.... the day i was due my blood test results (which confirmed if i was ovulating) i got my BFP....

    The things i did different that month was; stay laying down on my back for 30 mins after BDing, BDed with DH on top (usually it was me on top). We Bded the day before ovulation, ovulation day and the following. And about ovulating early!!!! I have a 27 day cycle (which would mean i should ovulate on day 13) but ovulate on day 10 or 11 of my cycle. I spoke to a family planning nurse who told me i was wrong but i know my body...

    Good luck - and don't give up hope! it will happen..

    x
     

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