I feel like a horrible person

[Tigger87]

My nephew has now been moved out of intensive care, to special care. I'm sooooo happy he's doing so amazingly well, and this is in no way taking away from that, but...

I can't help but feel really jealous?! Take away all the stress and troubles, my BIL and his wife will probably get to take their baby home within the next 5-6 weeks (perhaps even earlier if he continues his amazing progress), and I have to wait another probably 16 weeks to meet my little monster.

All this jealousy is making me feel horrendously guilty though, because it feels like maybe I don't care as much about Thomas as I should... But I do!! Even though I've not met him yet, the amount of love I feel for that little boy is incredible.

I also feel bad because I started off this pregnancy convinced it was a girl. Now I'm convinced its a boy. And I now really want a girl because it'd be more "different" than another boy in the family (OH has no sisters) and because (stupidly) I feel like he's never going to give me a boy.

Tonight I feel like one of the worst people in the world for having these thoughts/feelings.

 

[Geekachublog]

You shouldn't feel awful, it's completely natural to want your baby here now. Don't we all?

You love your nephew but you're pregnant too so it's absolutely normal to want to meet your child too.

 

[Haylian]

I don't think you should feel like an awful person. All you've wanted is for Thomas to be well and now it is you're natural instinct as a pregnant woman to have our baby in your arms safe and well ASAP. I think it's totally normal tomfeelnthe way you do, don't beat yourself up about it Hun xx

 

[Gemsy]

Hormones!!!!

 

[Pippa1703]

I agree with all of the above! I wanna meet my little dude too! As for the boy/girl issue. If its a boy im sure you'll be fine. I really wanted a girl and found yesterday it was boy. Today ive been proudly telling people im going to have a son!