My nephew has now been moved out of intensive care, to special care. I'm sooooo happy he's doing so amazingly well, and this is in no way taking away from that, but... I can't help but feel really jealous?! Take away all the stress and troubles, my BIL and his wife will probably get to take their baby home within the next 5-6 weeks (perhaps even earlier if he continues his amazing progress), and I have to wait another probably 16 weeks to meet my little monster. All this jealousy is making me feel horrendously guilty though, because it feels like maybe I don't care as much about Thomas as I should... But I do!! Even though I've not met him yet, the amount of love I feel for that little boy is incredible. I also feel bad because I started off this pregnancy convinced it was a girl. Now I'm convinced its a boy. And I now really want a girl because it'd be more "different" than another boy in the family (OH has no sisters) and because (stupidly) I feel like he's never going to give me a boy. Tonight I feel like one of the worst people in the world for having these thoughts/feelings.