I dont like her.

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by boo boo, Jul 11, 2005.

  1. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

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    Ok, well I just seen my midwife for the first ime, she came over to my house to fill out all the paperwork with me. I dont tink I like her all that much and can see her stressing me out. I dont know why but it was as if she was talking down to me and judging me. :x :x
    Im not the sort of person who doesnt like a person easily, but with her soon as I opened the door i sensed that i wouldnt like her.

    She didnt make me feel comfortable at all. When she was asking if me and my partner smoke, and I said I did, she gave me this hugh lecture, i know they are sopse to tell you the risks etc etc and encourage you to quit, but I felt that I was in school being told off, and then she said my partner has GOT to stop aswell, cos we definatly wont be able to afford a baby and a habit, god how the hell does she know if we can afford it, she doesnt know our financial situation.
    I hated it cos she was really rushing to get out aswell she kept looking at her watch. I felt as tho I was wasting her time.

    Really think I dont want her to be my midwife, or to deliver my baby, I think shed stress me out and I just want to smack her.

    argggggggggggggggggggg :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x


    Sorry to rant :lol:

    bec x x
     
  2. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

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    Oh yeah forgot to add, she worked out my due date as feb 5th, that doesnt work out to me, cos im jus over 12 weeks now, and I told her this cos ive had a scan o see how far gone I am. If i was due then surely I would only be about 9/10 weeks, which I def aint.
    I know she is spose to be the expert, but how can she give me that due date when she doesnt know none of the details, I trid telling her that I thought she was wrong but she wasnt even pretending to listento me.

    arggggggggggggggggggggg :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

    sorry to rant again, jus have taken a real dislikin to this woman

    bec x x
     
  3. Skidoo

    Skidoo Well-Known Member

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    I went to the hospital for my first midwife appt last week. My partner and I went to the ward where we found a woman was sitting in the corridor, she asked who we were looking for so I showed her the letter I had and said the name. She said 'That's me. I'll need a urine sample.' She didn't allow me to introduce myself or my partner. Great start. I won't go into details, but it didn't really get any better.

    I felt like we were on a production line. She never asked how I was feeling and showed absolutely no interest in me whatsoever. I'm not inexperienced with doctors and hospitals and this was about the most impersonal interview I've ever had with medical staff.

    I'm going to change hospitals. I suggest you look into it.
     
  4. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

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    I think I got my midfife thro my doctors, would I have to change my doctors to see if I can change midfifes, or could I just ask into it, cos im sure they got more than one. God i dont know aht to do, at least I wont have to see her till october thena s she stated i will be all hers, I dont wanna be all hers. :( :( Gd that woman put me on a downer now :x

    bec x x
     
  5. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    sorry to hear about your situation boo boo. I suggest you go back to your GP and explain that you were not happy with the midwife and if you can change. dont worry about offending anyone, there are procedures innplace to deal with these things and its important that you are happy with your care. There will be more than the one midwife avaliable. Are you having a home or hospital birth?
     
  6. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    I felt like that too. I guessed it was because I was early on, I've had a few queries about my pregnancy over the weeks that have worked themselves out (pains and stuff) and I've never called my midwife because I'd feel like I was hassling her. She seemed really busy and scatty when I met her, she wrote in my notes she'd taken my blood pressure and she hadn't. I just don't feel that confident in the woman who is going to deliver my baby and have her hands up my bits, which is a bit scary. I thought it might get better as I get further on and see her more. I wanted a home birth but that wasn't even mentioned as an option, but I am visiting the hospital tonight to see their labour ward and if it freaks me out I shall be asking her tomorrow when I see her. I don't see my midwife for 9 weeks between tomorrow and my 25 week appointment.
     
  7. Skidoo

    Skidoo Well-Known Member

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    This is a really useful site http://www.nice.org.uk/page.aspx?o=89310 It's the Antenatal care section of the National Institute for Clinical Excellence's website. You can print off their guidelines, or ask for them to be sent to you. On page 9 it says 'You have a right to take part in making decisions about your care.'

    Personally I found this much easier to understand than 'Emma's Diary' which I found rather patronizing.
     
  8. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

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    Hey Cat, im not having a home birth.
    I was just wondering aswell im not seeing my midfiwe now untill im 24 weeks so not for another 3 mnths, that seemed like along ime to me. Is that the same for everyone eles???

    And cheers for the help everyyone think i am gonna look in to changing midwifes, cos jus like rosieroo, i dont think i want a woman i dnt like or trust delivering my baby or eing so close to me. :? :?

    bec x x x
     
  9. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

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    hello ladies
    the first time i spoke to my midwife she made me cry, i cried for about an hour after i spoke to her, she just had a go at me about the fact that i wanted to give birth at a different hospital.

    i have seen her a few times since and i hasn't got any better, she doesn't even check my urine when i go, she doesn't ask how i am and she just patronises me, she is sooooooo horrible, yes i know i am 19 but i am married and i have a two bedroom house my hubby has a fantastic career in he army so its not like we will be homeless and pennieless any time soon! i am in a better position than some people who are a lot older than me!

    sorry to rant but the only good thing in this is the fact that she won't be delivering my baby!

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  10. Yvonne

    Yvonne Well-Known Member

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    my midwife came to my house for the booking in appointment, it was the same midwife who delivered my first so she knew my history of pregnancy problems etc, she was really nice and i am lucky to have her again.
    She gave me a number to ring which is the head midwife for if i had any complaints about the care, you should have been given one as well.

    She came to see me at 12 weeks and i had my scan today andi am seeing her agian on thursday and every 4 weeks from then on.

    Each care is different for each district so i wouldn't compare to everyone else, but if you have a problem with the midwife i would ring the delivey suite and explain, because at the end of the day they are there to make you happy and stress free and she needs to be approachable for you if you need any problems and easy to talk to.

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
     
  11. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

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    Im so glad im not the only one having problems with the midwife, makes be feel like i aint being so petty. I think cos i have only met her once, and dont have to see her for another 3 mnths or so (which i still think is a long time) i mite wait for the nxt meeting, and if my feeling have not changed then i will sort something out about changing it.

    bec x x
     
  12. Yvonne

    Yvonne Well-Known Member

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    you know what really winds me up, half of these midwifes dont have kids and dont know what your going through even though they pretend they do!!

    i had a midwife who told my friend to stop being so mard while she was in labour, and that she was being pathetic that why th baby wasn't coming out- and it came to it that her pelvis wasn't big enough to deliver and she needed a ceaserean!! Now that msut have been down putting
     
  13. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    That's terrible! Seriously if the midwife says anything like that do you have a right to say that you don't want them there and you want someone else?
     
  14. Yvonne

    Yvonne Well-Known Member

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    she complained about her and she got sent to a tribuneral, not sure what happened after that.

    when you in labour you need encouragement not to be put down, honestly i would have smacked her one!!!! Lol

    you find that 98% of midwives are really really nice
     
  15. boo boo

    boo boo Well-Known Member

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    Ohhh i just found outt today the midfive i got and hate, my sista also had and wen i told her how i felt and why i felt like that, she totaly agreed, she sed she did not like her either, and was so glad wen she was not at the birth. So maybe im not just over reacting cos apparently a few people feel the same. Im def looking into changin midwifes now. I know there is a big possibility that this woman will not be with me during labour, but i dnt want to have to go and see her and having her put me down all the time, it will make me feel bad then. So shud be goin to hospital soon for my first scan (still havent had it its doin my head in, waitin for letter tho to give me an appontment, shud come ne day now) and ill sort it out and look into changing midwifes there

    bec x x
     

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