I am so tired!!

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by Vickyxx, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

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    I think I am giving up girls ... I just dont have the energy in me anymore!!

    This is the first cycle where I just cant be arsed with it, peeing on sticks, hospital tests, checking CM, regular BD'ing ..... None of it!! :sad:

    I took an opk last night and it really pissed me off cause I didnt want to do it, the only reason I done it is that I am not having clomid scans anymore (cuts in funding) just the blood tests so I need to have a rough idea of if/when I ovulate and thats just so I can prove to the hospital that it aint frigging working!!

    I am 100% in the mindset that I will need to have IVF and because of that I just cant be bothered with it now, I have to wait to April to find out if I will be referred, which will make it 2 years since we started trying.

    And because I think I will be heading down the IVF route I know that I will be waiting months if not longer for all the referrals and waiting times before we can even start and then it may not work ... urghhhhh!!! ITS TO MUCH!!!

    Sorry for being such a bummer girls I just feel really numb and having to watch everyone else do the one thing I cant seem to do really bloody sucks, I dont even have the energy to cry about it anymore!!
     
  2. kirstymichelle

    kirstymichelle Well-Known Member

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    Hugs , seems like the season for feeling down about it all. It's fine bumming in here i think we all feel the same at the minute.

    It does make you feel soo tired, sick and tired

    x x x
     
  3. Kay Kay

    Kay Kay Well-Known Member

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    Sorry you're feeling defeated vic, as kirsty says a lot of us are feeling the same way at the mo, myself included. I have no words of wisdom other than don't give up hope. Big hugs xxxx
     
  4. mrspc

    mrspc Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: Sorry hun, maybe you should back off for a month or so? If you're anything like me though, you can swing from negative back to determined very quickly!

    I'm in the worst part of the 2ww and feel actually nauseous at every twinge in case it's sign af is going to show so I'm with you girls in the feeling poo camp today ::(:


    xx
     
  5. LouiseB

    LouiseB Well-Known Member

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    Ah Vicky :hug:

    I was worrying that this would be coming - you can't be happy all the time especially when you have to go through everything that you have had to go through.

    It's a very desparate time when you think you have overcome a hurdle but it doesn't seem to be helping and the finish line seems further away than ever :(

    If you get another BFN then you can assume that it didn't work and you need a higher dosage - i think you are 100mg? Then go max dosage for the last couple of cycles.

    You don't have to use OPKs, you can just take it easy and bd every 2-3 days when it makes sense based on your cycles.

    Please don't allow yourself to fall too deeply into sadness xx
     
  6. maybe baby

    maybe baby Well-Known Member

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    Aww big hugs Vic, so sorry your feeling like this, what's the highest dosage you've taken so far, I know I already OV but I took 100mg and just one bean, i wasn't sure about clomid so I decided to do double or quits for the last time, i'd try a higher dose, I'll send you mine if you like/need more.:)

    Xx
     
  7. Nurse 26

    Nurse 26 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: sorry your feeling so down hun :hugs: xxx
     
  8. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry you are feeling down Vicky! It is so blooming hard at times! Big Hug and hope you feel better soon! Were all here for you! Xxx
     
  9. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

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    I don't feel that sad just numb ... Not sure what's worse!!

    Ovulation is due any day now so just waiting for a sign. Took 50mg this cycle of clomid next time it will be 100mg. Have my follow up appt early April so doubt I will get a third go in before then.

    I did ovulate on 150mg last year before my op but only once. So I might try it again especially if I have to wait ages inbetween treatments.
     
  10. hayels

    hayels Well-Known Member

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    am sorry you feeling bit rubbish today. sending you big hugs xxx
     
  11. blondy13

    blondy13 Well-Known Member

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    Oh Vicky I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish about things. There's nothing to say that could make it any better but like Lou said maybe just bd every 2-3 days for a couple of weeks around ov time and forget all the rest? Its deffo worth trying 100mg & 150mg clomid especially if you're just waiting around for things. Massive hugs honey, we all know where you're coming from xxx
     
  12. Chazabell

    Chazabell Well-Known Member

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    Hey Vicky, im fed up too :hug:

    I have to wait till March at the earliest before we can 'try' with all this IUI business, and im not at all happy we have to have IUI, sucks arse! And on top of that im back to random cycles, so cant predict when AF id due as i always seem to OV CD15ish and she arrives whenever she bloody wishes!!

    Its not been long since your op so you could be like Maybe and everything will kick in shortly, but try having a relaxed month off, cant do any harm xxxx
     
  13. MissJuly10

    MissJuly10 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry you're feeling bummed out. :hugs:

    I can't say much else the others haven't, just wish I could say something to make you feel better.

    :love: :love:

    x x
     
  14. LouiseB

    LouiseB Well-Known Member

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    Why did they start you back on 50mg when you only ovulated on 150mg? :eh:

    I would have thought at the least they'd be quicker to knock you back upto 150 again if there wasn't any improvement.

    I'm sure i've read about people having their cycles stopped for a few weeks and then trying clomid based on the assumption that your system will be more responsive to the drug...

    I think numbness best describes how i feel most of the time. I can't see my life being any different to how it is right now - i can't see myself being pregnant and i can't see myself being happy without hubby's kids.

    Every day, a day closer xx
     
  15. mrspc

    mrspc Well-Known Member

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    I wish I felt numb. I feel panic stricken at this time every cycle when I realise I'm having AF pains. So panicked that I feel like throwing up. It passes when she arrives. The girl next door is pregnant - saw her crib in the back of the car yesterday. Am staying in bed all day today.

    LTTTC ladies are all a bit down at the mo :( Sorry to add to it! xxx
     
  16. Gizzy Kelly

    Gizzy Kelly Well-Known Member

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    Vicky I am sorry you feel like this, it seems as though everyone is down in the dumps. I would take the girls advice on here and up the dosage. All I can say is that we are all here for you and send you hugs. I think it is normal in this stressful journey to hit a patch where you think sod it. I cannot face a opk this month in fact I have not even counted my days which is very unlike me. I really thought the hycosy would flush anything out of the way. I hope you feel better soon love Gizzy xxxxxx
     
  17. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

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    It makes me sad to see so many of us feeling so deflated at the moment, maybe its the aftermath of New Year, it was easy to feel positive at the start of the year but as the weeks have ticked by doom and gloom has set back in!!

    I was on 150mg of clomid prior to my operation, but for whatever reason they have started me back on the lower dosage. Am going to take a higher dosage next cycle give it everything I got seeings as it will be my last shot before my follow up appt.

    Thanks for cheering me up girls, would be so lost without you guys :hugs:
     

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