Husbands/ Other halfs and pregnancy

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Becs, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. Becs

    Becs Well-Known Member

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    I have a wonderful husband who i adore but he is really struggling to get excited or feel that this baby coming is real. I can understand where he is coming from because I feel a bit the same way at the moment. I still have no bump whatsoever and haven't felt a flutter of movement yet. The doppler doesn't even seem to get him going.

    Does getting a bump make it more real for your partners? Also when did you get your bump? I can't wait t to start feeling more real about this and have something to share with my husband.
     
  2. gemmap27

    gemmap27 Well-Known Member

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    My Oh has shown hardly any excitement about this pregnancy and I was worried he wasnt that intrested, up untill the last few weeks that is.

    He did get a bit teary at the scan and was amazed at how much we could see and how much it changed between scans.

    I felt my first kicks at 21 weeks and OH felt them a few days later - which I did see him get excited about!

    But this weekend we finished the nursery and I saw a totally different side to him! He is very excited! and I think its made it all real for him!

    Hes not interested in the shopping side of it at all!!
     
  3. Becs

    Becs Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that. I do suspect my husband will be the same. We both really wanted to be pregnant for so long and after such a roller coaster of emotions to get here I think he is being cautious. I'm really pleased you have got to the exciting stage with your OH. :D
     
  4. gemmap27

    gemmap27 Well-Known Member

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    I think that my OH was being cautious too. We had an early MC in Feb and I think that was playing on his mind!

    But its really happening and it so nice to see him smile when he touches my belly!
     
  5. Tillytots

    Tillytots Well-Known Member

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    Pregnancy is a complete mind and body experience for us girls but its just a passing thought for men. Its with us 24/7 but they dont feel what we do so its harder for them to connect. I think even right up until they get to hold our LO's they wont feel that excitement that we feel right from the beginning. My OH is starting to get a little excited but I just cant wait to see his face when he gets to hold baby, I was thinking I will give him first cuddle as soon as baby is born as Ive got to feel baby grow and kick and for me its all very real already :D
     
  6. Becs

    Becs Well-Known Member

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    Wow, that's really generous of you Tilly! There's no way anyone is getting a hold before me.
     
  7. Tillytots

    Tillytots Well-Known Member

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    we;ll see what happens at the time :rotfl: Il prob be shouting GIVE ME MY BABY!!!!!! :rotfl:
     
  8. soulem

    soulem Well-Known Member

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    My OH isnt excited at all, and he has admitted as much. He says it wont feel real until baby is here!! To which I said 'well it had best feel real when Im in labour!!!'

    Im hoping the scan on weds will change him though!!!
     
  9. GBLiz

    GBLiz Well-Known Member

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    i doubt it feels real enough yet to him. im still barely feeling mine is real and im a bit reluctant to talk about 'the baby' still, just in case..and im the one who has her in my belly!
    My OH has started getting excited now and talks about her and what she will be like etc....only really since we had the 20 week scan and found out the sex, i think that made it more real for him...
     
  10. keli

    keli Well-Known Member

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    :wave: I'm starting to get a bump, i think it def starting to feel more real to me now not to sure about OH as tilly says baby is with us all time so alot different for us... do like sitting at work with hand on belly :) not feeling any movements yet but have an anterior placenta so not that worried can't wait till baby kicks tho :)
     
  11. Babylicious

    Babylicious Well-Known Member

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    Mines excited but obviously not as excited as me, only got a bump from 20 weeks onwards really. He's always kissing my bump and touching it, so I think he's bonded with him :D
     
  12. Squiglet

    Squiglet Well-Known Member

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    They seem to get more excited when you are nearing the end... I've only got a few days left.. am having labourish symptoms, my bumps dropped and you can actually feel bony baby bits now... feet, hands etc... so DH is getting more excited because arrival is impending now :)
     
  13. Bloom

    Bloom Well-Known Member

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    They deal with it in there own way and each man is different my oh doesnt seem excited but i saw his face at our scans and was like a kid in a sweet shop we had to get an extra picture as he keeps it on his desk at work to look at, so i know he is excited in his own way. He did admit to me the other day that he was jealous that he couldnt feel the kicks like i do and when he puts his hand on my belly she stops kicking which makes him feel left out.

    Hes still reluctant to discuss any names but we both want to wait to see what she looks like before we choose so theres no rush there. I sometimes wish he showed more interest but im trying to involve him as best as i can but hes happy in his own way and until shes in his arms im not sure if it will sink in fully.
     
  14. Emma58

    Emma58 Well-Known Member

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    My OH said last night he is just starting to get really excited about it now because he can see my bump moving and feel his kicks, also everytime he talks to my tum baby kicks when he hears his voice. He also admitted he is worried about crying when he is born which i thought was really sweet.
     
  15. muppetmummy

    muppetmummy Well-Known Member

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    I can't remember when I got a bump, it crept up on me slowly. I had a bit of a tummy on me to start which has slowly mutated into the bump. Still look more fat than pregnant in certain clothes! :oops:

    My OH has never been particularly excited about it. I think from his point of view we already have a son, he knows what to expect, he knows he enjoys being a father so is really laid back about it all and doesn't see it as being as huge a deal as it is to me.
    Obviously he'll be excited and happy when the baby arrives but I think he finds the pregnancy thing a bit tedious, he now has a girlfriend who's always tired, always moaning about her hips hurting and who has weird mood swings, no wonder he's not a fan! :lol:

    I keep on at him that I want to get all the baby stuff and get the bedroom ready and he's like 'it's 4 and half months away yet! I'm not buying stuff to get in the way and collect dust'.

    He's talking now about going baby shopping in early April, that makes me feel a bit nervous cos it's so close to the due date of 20th.
    He says 'if it comes early it's not exactly hard for me to run out and get a few bits and pieces.'

    To me shopping for baby stuff is really exciting and enjoyable and I'm itching to do it. For him it's an annoying chore that he'd rather put off till the last minute, he hates shopping at the best of times. He says he doesn
    't want to spend loads of money on baby stuff now for it to be lying around the house getting in the way, in case we need the money for something in the meantime.

    He does get excited at the scans and really enjoys them, he's just not into pregnancy or shopping :roll:
     
  16. Becs

    Becs Well-Known Member

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    Yeah it must be even less interesting for the man the second time round. I hear what you are saying muppetmum. Hey, you could tell him you are being frugal with money and want to spread the cost of the new baby stuff. I haven't bought anything yet either but have made a list of everything we need to get. It's not cheap is it?
     
  17. tots hope

    tots hope Well-Known Member

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    My DH talks about it a lot with his friends (apparently) but at home he is always busy running around. I don't think he will be that bothered in coming shopping but he might surprise me, i was trying out puschairs the other day and told me to just get what i wanted and tell him how much it was. Had to be practical about it though as he is quite tall so needed to get one with an adjustable handle.

    He hasn't yet put his hands on my bump but then i don't think he would be able to feel the baby move anyway as it is still very subtle x
     

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