How'd you think it would be?

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by Sugarpop, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. Sugarpop

    Sugarpop Well-Known Member

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    So, most of us here have been here a long time. I'm just curious where you thought you'd be by now?

    I know for me I thought I would have atleast a young baby by now (I'm 26). I've always known I have PCOS but I never ever thought it would be SO hard. I knew it would take time (which is why we started ttc so early) but I didn't think it would take this long and the road be so hard.
     
  2. phonixgirl

    phonixgirl Well-Known Member

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    I'm 32, started NTNP when we were 24 and not a hint of a BFP except my chemical on my last fet. I always had a worry it wouldn't happen, I think because my periods were heavy, long and painful, and my mum was 31 when she had me (and she was an only child). Perhaps also because I'd wanted a child desperately since I was about 14 lol.

    I never thought it would take THIS long though and the fact it now probably won't happen I also wouldn't have wanted to believe at least. I struggled to see myself as pregnant but always saw myself as a mum. I was surprised that I had PCOS (only diagnosed last year), the retroverted uterus and elevated NK cells (diagnosed a couple of months ago). I didn't seem to fit the stereotypical profile for any of them but at least it's some answers.

    I wanted to be a mum before I was 30... Obviously that didn't happen lol. Xx
     
  3. Sugarpop

    Sugarpop Well-Known Member

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    It's funny because I feel the same. I can't see myself pregnant but I can see myself as a mum. How strange is that? Does it even mean anything?
     
  4. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    My parents were married 19 years before they had me and mum had so many problems, she told me that a lot of it would be hereditary and I spent so much of my youth worrying that it would never happen for me. I was convinced hat I would have settled down, married and had kids by my very early 20s it was all I ever wanted as she was 36 when she had me.

    Typically I was in my 30s before I found the man I would marry and now at 34 coming up on 35 I am nowhere near getting that BFP. I will carry on TTC until I am 39/40 then I will give up
     
  5. phonixgirl

    phonixgirl Well-Known Member

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    I hope not! When I had my first IVF cycle, I had a dream I was heavily pregnant. It was the first time anything like that's happened and really changed my outlook on things. Xx
     
    #5 phonixgirl, Aug 11, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016
  6. PeanutButter

    PeanutButter Well-Known Member

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    Me and hubby have been together for nearly 6 years and have never used contraception... Since I was about 15 i always thought i couldn't have babies, no idea why. We started trying properly 6 months later i got preg with my first mc...I never thought I could even become pregnant so that was wonderful until I mcd anyway.
    When I had my 3rd mc, I had a dream i was like 36 weeks preg... and the mc didn't happen, oh the sadness when I woke up :(
    But for me anyway, at least ikno i can concive wher before I never thought I could.

    I hope the clomid works for you :) xx
     
  7. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    We have been married 5 years. When we were on our honeymoon we said that we would go back in 5 years time and were discussing if we would be able to do it with a child or two. So if things had gone to plan I guess we would have something like a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I quite fancied 3 children so I could even be thinking about a third!

    I'm also in that weird place where I can't see how we can live without children but at the same time can't see us with them either.
     
  8. phonixgirl

    phonixgirl Well-Known Member

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    I'd say I'm in that place too Snowbee. X
     
  9. Mar_15

    Mar_15 Well-Known Member

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    This month is my last chance to have a baby before I'm 30. I think when I was younger 30 was the age I imagined having children, as my parents were 30 when they had my older sister. So I suppose I am actually where I thought I would be. I just didn't imagine as a kid that I would have been trying for 3 years already at this point.

    I remember saying when I was younger "if I couldn't get pregnant, I wouldn't do IVF etc. I would just adopt", as if "infertile" was a diagnosis a doctor would hand to me and then I would know and accept it immediately. I never appreciated the whole long emotionally draining process of realising and accepting and giving up hope. I'm still on the realising stage and haven't given up hope yet.

    I think I imagine myself more being pregnant and being a mum now that I ever did when I was younger though. Back then, although I always really wanted kids, I imagined it in an abstract sort of way, or my imaginary kids were always babies. Now I really feel the absence, and I think my OH feels the same, especially when we see friends with children.
     

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