How to explain to two year old he won't see daddy again

[madmillie92]

Hi everyone
First post here for over a year but needed some advice
My son's nearly three and to cut a loong story short I've finally managed to leave his abusive father, I've been in a womana refuge for the last three months and am in the process of moving into a new home (fresh start-im so happy)
I had to pack and leave in two hours and couldn't tell my ds we were leaving in case he said anything (his speech is brilliant).. Fortunately he seems to have taken the move okay as the refuge was brilliant, although he is confused about everything I told him our old house was broken, we are staying in a holiday house until we get a new one and he's excited about moving to the 'new house' we've now been given. But he talks about his dad constantly, things like 'wheres daddy' 'hes at work' 'why' 'to earn money to buy things' and he mentions him all the time... Social services have made it clear they will get involved if he has anything less than heavily supervised contact at a centre which he has to set up and it doesn't look like that will happen anytime soon (which I'm happy about as he will be a disruptive influence in his sons life anyway) but saying daddy's at work is just not cutting it for my over inquisitive son...and I want to know exactly what I have to say when the time comes in the future when I'll have to explain it in a bit more detail.. What would you say? I want to explain things in a way that he still thinks his dad loves him but he just won't see him anymore...any advice would be appreciated...thanks xx

 

[BunnyN]

Sorry you have been having such a hard time. Its a hard situation. I think its important to be truthful but in an age appropriate way, which is easier said than done. I'd say to start with its important not to pretend his father did nothing wrong but at the same time not be constantly bashing him as a bad person. Maybe something like "daddy makes bad choices and isnt safe to be around at the moment" or " daddy hurts people when he gets angry and that is not okay to do so we cant see him for a while". Do you have a counciler that you can talk to for advice? I am sure there are lots of other mums who have been in a similar situation. Maybe try google too. I hope someone on here will be able to help more too.

 

[MrsT2011]

Hun I have no advice but just wanted to say what an amazing mummy you are for getting out of the situation and protecting your son.
Good luck with your new house x

 

[Holi]

I think if this was me I would say something like 'sometimes people that we love do very mean and nasty things and unfortunately daddy is one of them. So we need to stay away from daddy so we an both be safe and happy' - then I'd elaborate more as he got older. Such a hard situation but well done you for getting yourself and your son away xxx