How men lie!!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by hearts81, Nov 20, 2005.

  1. hearts81

    hearts81 Well-Known Member

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    How men lie:

    "I'M GOING FISHING"
    Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
    stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in
    my hand, while the fish swim by in
    complete safety."

    IT'S A GUY THING"
    Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
    connected with it, and you have no chance
    at all of making it logical".

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"


    "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.
    IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
    Means: "I was wondering if that redhead
    over there is wearing a bra."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
    Means: "I can't hear the game over
    the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Means: "Are you still talking?"


    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
    Means: "And I sure hope I think of some
    pretty darn soon."

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
    Means: Absolutely nothing.
    It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Means: "I have no idea how it works."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
    so I'm completely clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Means: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU."
    Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
    just said, and am hoping desperately that I
    can fake it well enough so that you don't
    spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
    Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
    and realize it could be worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
    Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit,
    I'm starving already."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
    Means: "I make the mess, she cleans it up."



    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
    the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
    and the vehicle identification numbers
    of every car I've ever owned,
    but I forgot your birthday."

    "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
    AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
    Means: "The girl selling them on the corner
    was a real babe."

    "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF,
    IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Means: "I have actually severed a limb,
    it will bleed to death before
    I admit that
     
  2. shamu

    shamu Well-Known Member

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    love them - all tru but the last one!! - in my experiance, if boyf gets so much as a paper cut we're as good as heading to the a&e!!!!! hehehehehehehe
     

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