How many is too many?

[hopefulmummy]

For me 2's enough. Not just for financial reasons but also emotional reasons. I've found it alot harder with charley than I did with Lacey so bringing a 3rd into the world would be wrong for us. I couldn't look after 3 on my own!

that's interesting... Did you find the bonding harder with charley or just looking after 2 exhausting?

Luw, at least you have a plan!

 

[LuW]

I have plans for everything!! Even the way I put the shopping away... sure it's bordering on OCD.

I'd feel extremely irrisponcible bringing a child into the world if I couldn't suport them emotionally and fiancially and if I knew I could work when my children were young and still have a strong relationship I would, but I know personally I couldn't. But I couldn't live with myself if I just resigned myself to sitting about sponging off people, not giving much of a damn over what my children did with their lives. While I'm not going to push them into because like a brain surgeon or something like that (unless of course they want to be...) I will make sure that they know they have to be able to afford and provide for things and people in their lives. And not take the easy way out.

XXX

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

For me 2's enough. Not just for financial reasons but also emotional reasons. I've found it alot harder with charley than I did with Lacey so bringing a 3rd into the world would be wrong for us. I couldn't look after 3 on my own!

that's interesting... Did you find the bonding harder with charley or just looking after 2 exhausting?

Luw, at least you have a plan!

My OH works away mon-fri so I'm on my own with both kids so it's hard work but I do find it rewarding! I Just don't think I could handle 3 on my own! x.

 

[nikki8092]

Yeah i find 2 is hard work sometimes especially with a small age gap, i am worried i wont have time to breathe when i have this one x

 

[Amy_J]

There was an article in my magazine yesterday about a mum in guernsey who had 13 children and wants more! she lives off her 500 plus benefits a week even though she claims it isnt enough..... her 15 year old is pregnant and some of her other kids have got babies too!!!! shocking isnt the word.

 

[LuW]

We're still aiming for 3 even though he's going to be away mon-fri and the occassional weekend alone with 6months stints away every so often, but we're really aiming for the 4 year age gap between each as I can cope with children of different ages alone, especially when the youngest is born, the eldest will be about 8 hopefully so while will still need me, can entertain themselves with the right materials. But thats the way I am, My life revolves around a big ish family (we do want to try for another if possible once he's left the forces but thas a maybe) and I'll do anything, but thats suits me and I know it wont suit everyone. Because hey- if we all wanted the exact same and the same thing suited everyone it'd be borning! xxx

 

[LuW]

There was an article in my magazine yesterday about a mum in guernsey who had 13 children and wants more! she lives off her 500 plus benefits a week even though she claims it isnt enough..... her 15 year old is pregnant and some of her other kids have got babies too!!!! shocking isnt the word.

Jesus christ! Thats just insane!

 

[Amy_J]

There was an article in my magazine yesterday about a mum in guernsey who had 13 children and wants more! she lives off her 500 plus benefits a week even though she claims it isnt enough..... her 15 year old is pregnant and some of her other kids have got babies too!!!! shocking isnt the word.

Jesus christ! Thats just insane!

i was in shock reading it... showed it to my oh who was even more speechless than i was!

 

[LuW]

I know Jezza had a couple on once wth 6 kids under 8 or something and was expecting again and she was on a mentle amount and said it wasn't enough so the show sent her fella on a course to improve his skills and be able to get a job to provide for them.

He went to one day of like a 6 week course and that was it. =[

 

[Amy_J]

I know Jezza had a couple on once wth 6 kids under 8 or something and was expecting again and she was on a mentle amount and said it wasn't enough so the show sent her fella on a course to improve his skills and be able to get a job to provide for them.

He went to one day of like a 6 week course and that was it. =[

sounds about right!!! typical

 

[nikki8092]

I feel sorry for the kids really in families like that, a benefit state is all they have known and will probably continue living that way through their adult life..

 

[Amy_J]

I feel sorry for the kids really in families like that, a benefit state is all they have known and will probably continue living that way through their adult life..

agreed.

 

[LuW]

I feel sorry for the kids really in families like that, a benefit state is all they have known and will probably continue living that way through their adult life..

Definately! I could never imagine sitting on my arse for other peoples money to ful that! Even when I'm not working much I get antsy and start finding other things to do, last time I was out of work was when me and L had our own places and I redecorated the entire house in two days and started minding my friends little girl for a small amount every day because I was bored. Then again... Alot of benefit monkeys spend a lot of time drunk/high/whatever. Thats not all btw... just a decent amount do. XXX

 

[nikki8092]

yeah i have a friend who has 4 kids and both her and her partner are on benefits, cant afford to buy their kids nice stuff but can afford to drink and smoke and get new tattoos

 

[cosmicgirl]

Grrr Nikki, I so know what you mean!!! I know a girl, shes a SAHM with two young children, he OH does work but he's on minimum wages as he works part time in a supermarket. They live in a council house that is completely paid for and get loads of benefits too. She's always crying poverty and saying how their money is gone as soon as it comes in yet they are TTC and the pair of them are both half way through massive tattoos!!! Now I know how much they cost and thats fine if you've got your shit together but she is always crying poverty, and why is she TTC when there is no money left at the end of the month??? x

 

[nikki8092]

she is probably TTC because they know more kids they have the more money they get. My friend actually has 5 not 4 and they were taken off them recently due to them not been cared for properley, 4 eldest are in foster home and the youngest 8 months is being put up for adoption. And she thinks she is hard done by and the social are evil for doing that...

 

[Amy_J]

Grrr Nikki, I so know what you mean!!! I know a girl, shes a SAHM with two young children, he OH does work but he's on minimum wages as he works part time in a supermarket. They live in a council house that is completely paid for and get loads of benefits too. She's always crying poverty and saying how their money is gone as soon as it comes in yet they are TTC and the pair of them are both half way through massive tattoos!!! Now I know how much they cost and thats fine if you've got your shit together but she is always crying poverty, and why is she TTC when there is no money left at the end of the month??? x

omg!

 

[cosmicgirl]

Makes me so so mad, honestly x

 

[nikki8092]

me too. i would give up my last pennies for my kids. im lucky as my husband has a really good job so enableing me to stay at home with the kids. Once they are all at school i want to go back to work so that they can get the best of everything, nothing i wouldnt do for my babies.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I would have loved to have been able to spend more time at home with my kids but we just couldnt afford for me to not work (I'm the main earner). It makes me a bit sad in lots of ways but I have a fabulous career and my kids are happy so I must be doing something half right xx