How Do You Go To The Dr's?!

[CoreysMummy]

Iv never been good at asking for help - infact I DONT do it, not at work, not at home, not with anything, im just no good at it. I think I should be able to cope on my own. Im very stong willed and do/used to have a high oppinion of myself (not big headed, just confident I think).

Anyways, and im sorry if this drags, so i'll thank anyone still reading it now!!

I had my son on the 1st May by emergency C-section, I then had this baby waved at me, and told that was mine - tho id not seen anything, or given birth to my baby. I sat in the hospital and looked in the cot at this little baby... but he didnt feel like mine, it was just a baby laying there. Anyway, he screamed the hospital down from the moment he was born - peads were out testing him etc etc, couldnt find anything wrong, so we were sent on our way after 3 days. I didnt worry to much, and tried to bond.. but the constant screaming 24/7 continued, I tried everything. I could not leave the house, because of the c-section, and because if I did my LO would scream and cry wherever I was. I felt lonley, traped, couldnt go out and see friends, just had to sit about with a screaming baby all day and all night. I felt it was my fault, something I had done, or was not doing - babys dont cry like this, babys cry when theres something wrong. I must be sh*t

As it turned out he has silent reflux, and on medication and neocate he is a different baby!! We go out, I can take him anywhere and hes angel baby... pretty much But I still feel bad, I worry about what is going to happen when he teeths, I worry when other ppl have him that hes going to be out of routine, and I cant... just CANT as I dont think id cope if he went back to how he was... the though of it makes me break out in sweat and panic. I know the things I worry about are silly really. But I cant help it, and im not the worrying type. I got anoyed at OH the other night because he took Corey to a friends house and he was not asleep til 9pm, when his bed time is 8pm. I never get anoyed, we, in the last two years have never argued - but I was pissed. Iv never felt that kind of anoyance, when you go hot and bothered and shake... I feel like im going mad. Its all silly.

I sit at home all day every day (unless I drag myself out, only because i think I should) and look forward to the time that OH is going to be home. I used to dread waking up in the morning, morning would come and Id wish I hadnt bothered... some things are getting better, but I dont feel myself. Im a happy bubbly person, I love my son more than anything, but I feel horrid.

Theres more, but I cant even think at the moment... iv fallen apart typing this so, iv got to leave it.

My question really was, how do you go to the Dr's and tell them that you 'dont feel right' id feel like such a tit walking in there... I dont know what I need, iv gone for 3 months with this, and its not getting better... I want to sort it before OH and me start having problems because im snappy or sad, or... whatever. So sorry if this dont make scence... I cant read it thru again!

 

[Jade&Evie]

I could have witten your post. A few weeks ago I sat and clock watched from 8am to 6.30pm when my OH got home.

I went to the docs and they prescribed me ADs which I didn't take Things didn't get better. In Fact they got worse because I was trying to make myself better.

I have now started ADs and am starting to feel better. Sometimes I still have to force myself to go out- but even a trip to sainsburys can cheer me up now- I go out get some bits and bobs and cook a nice dinner- I stil don't go out much but I am keeping myself busy and now it's 6pm before I know it!

Evie is a lovely baby... NOW. She sleeps through the night and laughs and smiles all day but a few weeks ago she would scream with the colic and if I wasn't around she would cry and cry so I couldn't leave her even to have a bath with my OH. I went out a couple of weekends agao and had a crap night because I phoned home at 10p and Evie was still awake. I shouted at my OH because she normally goes to bed at 7pm and it made him feel like he was doing a crap job

Please go to the docs- the sooner you do it the sooner you can stop worrying and just enjoy being Corey's Mummy xxxx

 

[CoreysMummy]

Does sound very simmilar. I dunno what we can do that gets them to bed, that daddy cant manage.

I also felt, and do still, feel bad that I couldnt breastfeed as LO woudl projectile vomit whatever he ate, and would not latch on, because it hurt to eat... Owww! Until he had comfort milk he didnt keep anything in him. No one told me about infant gaviscon. I still beat myself up about that... Ahh I dunno.

Trouble is, some days I feel OK... not 100% but you know, normalish, and sods law id feel fine the day of the Dr appt, and go in there n tell him that 'im ok really, sorry for wasting his time'!!

Well, Id better go shower and get dressed... seen as I havent bothered and iv been upsince 7. Day looks ok, should go out n get him some fresh air.

 

[Jade&Evie]

Trouble is, some days I feel OK... not 100% but you know, normalish, and sods law id feel fine the day of the Dr appt, and go in there n tell him that 'im ok really, sorry for wasting his time'!!

Well, Id better go shower and get dressed... seen as I havent bothered and iv been upsince 7. Day looks ok, should go out n get him some fresh air.

Write it down.

I find that if I do something different- even putting a bit of makeup on or wearing heels instead of trainers I feel much more confident when I am out and about. I know it's vain but it does help me!

Also if I sit down and make a list of a few things I need to get I tend to be more motivated to do them.

I've learnt that it's so much nicer for your OH to come home and here about your busy day than see a sigh of relief as he walks through the door!

 

[muppetmummy]

aww hun well done for writing this post. It must have felt really hard. You've taken a big step though towards feeling back to normal again.

I know what you mean about feeling fine somedays. On the day I decided to see the hv and tell her everything Id been feeling I woke up feeling ok and was thinking that I wouldnt see her after all as I was being stupid and must be blowing things out of proportion.

Luckily though I read through some old posts Id written in this section and it reminded me of what Id been feeling on my bad days. I felt that cos Id admitted it on here there was no going back and I went ahead and told the hv everything. I had chosen the hv over the doctor as she already knew me and Logie quite well through seeing us every week so it felt less scary and formal than seeing the doctor.
I felt so much better after talking to her, she said I had pnd and made me realise that how im feeling is temporary and im ill rather than greedy, lazy, mad and a bad mother, and that I will get better.

I have an appointment with the doc tomorrow and Im actually looking forward to it now as I had my worst day yet yesterday so I cant wait to start treatment to get me well again.

I hope you can tell someone how you're feeling, it really will help. I hope you're back to your old self soon

By the way. Logans never had a bedtime, I just take him to bed when I go around midnight. I cant be bothered with routines atm. Not having a routine doesn't make you a bad mum so dont worry about it

 

[Sherlock]

Do you have a HV? Talk to her if you can. She can talk things over with you and maybe have you take the Edinburgh test to see if you possibly have PND in some form.

Then she can help explain options and things to do and encourage you to go see your GP. Your GP will understand. It happens to lots of women after giving birth. Its good to talk to someone and your HV will have more time to sit and talk and listen than your GP will. And will be able to follow up and make sure you are coping.

We have a support group for people feeling down or with PND here in this section. I'm sure the ladies there will be able to help also

 

[CoreysMummy]

As for having a HV... I take Corey to a clinic held in a hall once a fornight. I had a woman come to the house a few times, but... leaves me to it, I dnt have a number for her, and to my knowledge im never going to see her again. If I have any questions about Corey then I ask when I take him to be weighed. I dont think they would be to interested in me, and theres always lots of ppl milling about etc etc.

I called the Dr's yesturday, and my GP is away for 3 weeks. So I dont know wether to just see the locum, might be easyer to talk to them and see what they think.

Someone gave me the link to that edinburgh test score of 16, I think out of 30, so not to bad I dont think... dont really know anything about it though.

 

[muppetmummy]

I would see the locum if I were you. At least then you aren't likely to see him/her again if you're feeling nervous about it.

I only score 12 on the edinburgh test, but the hv said I have medium level pnd so don't take that as a definate.

I see my hv at a clinic too with lots of people around, but as soon as I said I needed to talk to her she took me to a private room to talk. Hopefully the hv's at your clinic would do the same.

From what you've said I really think it would be a good idea for you to see the doctor

 

[CoreysMummy]

Thank you...

Yes, mabey they would, I didnt think about that really... but people must go there and need/want to talk in private!

I think your right, the locum is probly a good idea. I dont know how they can tell much with a test, but I guess it covers the basics... Oh I dont know.

Soon as LO wakes up im going to my mums, cant be bothered today, and he deserves someone happy and wanting to play with him etc. I cant get mum to leave him alone when were there, so thats good!! And I can go back to bed.

 

[trixipaws]

not quite the same as u but i had to seek help for an eating disorder that got a bit out of hand after i gave birth- i felt like an absolute tit saying it as well idk why but im just sooooooooo embarrassed about it. i called my HV and asked her to visit, when she came to my house i was literally telling her through my fingers as i had my hands over my face i just felt so stupid! but its such a relief once youv done it i promise. maybe do that get ur HV to visit u might feel more comfortable in ur own home. x

 

[muppetmummy]

I've seen the doctor now and have been given antidepressants and will see a psychiatric nurse once a week, so hopefully I'll start to get better soon.

Trixi's idea of asking the hv to come to your house is a good one, I always feel more relaxed talking to mine at home and do find it helps talking to her.

Please talk to someone about this, it won't get any better on it's own, if anything it might get worse, and there's no need to suffer in silence. If you ask for help you'll get it

 

[CoreysMummy]

True, thank you!

I have to go to the Dr's today to pick up prescription for the milk and some of the drugs DS is on, then on to the hospital to get another drug, that the GP refuses to prepeat prescribe - idiot.

I'll make a Dr appt when I am there, I need to sort out getting a coil fitted anyway, so I'll nob two birds with one connie while im there God. Im so not funny.

(P.s, without this push I wudnt have done anything, except sit about wallowing in my own self pitty.)