Iv never been good at asking for help - infact I DONT do it, not at work, not at home, not with anything, im just no good at it. I think I should be able to cope on my own. Im very stong willed and do/used to have a high oppinion of myself (not big headed, just confident I think). Anyways, and im sorry if this drags, so i'll thank anyone still reading it now!! I had my son on the 1st May by emergency C-section, I then had this baby waved at me, and told that was mine - tho id not seen anything, or given birth to my baby. I sat in the hospital and looked in the cot at this little baby... but he didnt feel like mine, it was just a baby laying there. Anyway, he screamed the hospital down from the moment he was born - peads were out testing him etc etc, couldnt find anything wrong, so we were sent on our way after 3 days. I didnt worry to much, and tried to bond.. but the constant screaming 24/7 continued, I tried everything. I could not leave the house, because of the c-section, and because if I did my LO would scream and cry wherever I was. I felt lonley, traped, couldnt go out and see friends, just had to sit about with a screaming baby all day and all night. I felt it was my fault, something I had done, or was not doing - babys dont cry like this, babys cry when theres something wrong. I must be sh*t As it turned out he has silent reflux, and on medication and neocate he is a different baby!! We go out, I can take him anywhere and hes angel baby... pretty much But I still feel bad, I worry about what is going to happen when he teeths, I worry when other ppl have him that hes going to be out of routine, and I cant... just CANT as I dont think id cope if he went back to how he was... the though of it makes me break out in sweat and panic. I know the things I worry about are silly really. But I cant help it, and im not the worrying type. I got anoyed at OH the other night because he took Corey to a friends house and he was not asleep til 9pm, when his bed time is 8pm. I never get anoyed, we, in the last two years have never argued - but I was pissed. Iv never felt that kind of anoyance, when you go hot and bothered and shake... I feel like im going mad. Its all silly. I sit at home all day every day (unless I drag myself out, only because i think I should) and look forward to the time that OH is going to be home. I used to dread waking up in the morning, morning would come and Id wish I hadnt bothered... some things are getting better, but I dont feel myself. Im a happy bubbly person, I love my son more than anything, but I feel horrid. Theres more, but I cant even think at the moment... iv fallen apart typing this so, iv got to leave it. My question really was, how do you go to the Dr's and tell them that you 'dont feel right' id feel like such a tit walking in there... I dont know what I need, iv gone for 3 months with this, and its not getting better... I want to sort it before OH and me start having problems because im snappy or sad, or... whatever. So sorry if this dont make scence... I cant read it thru again!