How do you cope?

[Snuggle]

I'm due to go back to work in April and the closer it gets the more I dont want to go back. This isnt because I'm lazy or anything, I'm in RAF and we get sent away for 4 months at a time and I cant bear the thought of being away from my daughter for that long The problem is, we have a mortgage, 2 cars and a loan and it isnt feasible for me to not work at all but if I left and just got a part-time job then surely I would only really make enough to pay for the childcare I would need whilst working?
How do other people that dont work or only work part-time cope?

 

[Krystal]

I like you am due to go back to work in April, luckily I only work 5 mins up the road and will only be working 16 hours a week. Even so the closer it gets to going back the more I hate idea. I will miss JT so much However I am looking forward to getting back to normal a little, talking to adults more as well. Gets a bit lonely being off.

So do you mean you would be away for 4 whole months? no coming back to visit or anything ?

 

[Snuggle]

It depends where I get sent. Sometimes you can come home for a week half way through the 4 months but its still 4 months away from my daughter and hubby..I cant stand the thought

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Is there anyway you can move jobs within the RAF so that you are not sent away?

I work 30 hours a week (1 day at home) and now have a bigger mortgage since having Gabs. I am suprised as I was so worried before going back to work about money and not seeing Gabs but it all works great at the moment.

I think life has a funny way of just working out.

Good luck hun;

 

[Snuggle]

Is there anyway you can move jobs within the RAF so that you are not sent away?

Unfortunately not everyone in the RAF has to go away when told to

 

[rusks]

i was dreading going back to work but i really enjoy the adult time now. i appreciate luke so much more on my days off. i work 2 days a week (25 hours) i am a nurse and we weighed up what we would do without my wages and i just had to go back to work, even with childcare to pay out, my wages make such a difference to all the bills. you have to work out though if you would be better of not going back to work financially, and emotionally, good luck x x

 

[eightball]

I think you should spend lots of time between now and april checking out your options and finding out what other things you could do closer to home. Then at least if you do end up going back to the RAF you know you've really explored the alternatives and you've made an informed decision. I understand how gutted you feel, it's so hard to even imagine being away from your child for such a long time, I hope you find a dream job around the corner

 

[Jen79]

What about leaving the Raf and getting a full time civvie job? I was in the army (I left before I had Kate though) and I know its crap the amount of time they send you away. My friend stayed in for a while after she had her daughter but was so worried about being separated from her that she decided to leave and got a full time telesales job instead. Its not ideal as you would be at work a lot but at least you would know you didnt have to go anywhere? In the army mums with really young kids didnt tend to be sent on operations if there were other people available, the welfare people can help you out if thats worth a try? Or go on the sick for a bit while you decide what to do (I would!).

 

[Vickyleigh]

My boyfriend asked me the other day when I'm going back to work and I was like me work? nooooooooooo

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

Could you not leave the RAF and get another job closer to home ith no travelling?

At least that way you could work full-time but still go home every night

 

[mayday]

I am fairly sure it is the law now that an employer, regardless of who they are, has to try and accommodate you with working conditions that give you enugh flexibility for childcare. I work for an airline which is famous for trying to not let one of it's female employees have access to working hours that suited her, and lost in court, appealed, and lost the appeal too. It may be that if your job is something quite specialised where it cannot be done unless you go away, that you may have to consider a change to a different job of equal standing. I don't know what you do in the RAF, but if it is a war zone based job you won't be able to do it in the UK forever - the UK bit is training for the bit which goes on overseas. But if it is, I don't know, something like a maintainance engineer who would normally spend some time abroad and some time in the UK, you would have legitimate grounds for requesting a UK based role for the next few years. The only way you will find out though is to talk to your employer and also to other mums who do your job.

 

[Snuggle]

Thanks for the replies girls. My problem about leaving RAF is that I wont be able to get another job that pays so well and we need the money. Think I will just have to try saving loads of money each month for a year or so and get our loans paid off quicker then I can leave and take the pay cut more easily

 

[mrs_tommo22]

That sucks snuggle being sent away, omg youl miss maddison so much.

What do you do with in the raf?

 

[Snuggle]

Hi mrs_tommo

I'm in Air Traffic/Flight Ops. I'm just trying to put the thought of going away for 4 months to the back of my head until I've been told that I'm going

 

[Nicky_Jones]

The RAF need a lot of ATC/Flight Ops staff in the UK so I would have thought you could apply for special circumstances and I can't see why they should have grounds to refuse given what you do. Even if they only give you 1 year or something like that, then that is more time to find another job....

 

[Snuggle]

I cant apply for special circumstances because then every mother in the RAF would do the same and there would be hardly anyone left to do the detachments. My friend is off to Basra in January and she is a single mother so no-one left at home to look after her daughter Think her girl has to go live with her Gran for the 4 months. No special treatment for anyone I'm afraid

 

[mamichuli]

Aww hun, so sorry to hear... very difficult for you, hope you can find a way around this...

Lisa

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Hmm well snuggle you kept that quiet you genius!

The only thing i can think of is that your job has to consder giving you more friendly hours so you can bw with your child, i know im not being much help but why not discuss it with your bosses?