How did you decide it was the right time to try?

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by H_Savage, Feb 5, 2012.

  1. H_Savage

    H_Savage Well-Known Member

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    As the title says, I'm really interested to know how we reached the point of being ready to try? I think I'm a bit of a cliche, as last year, I suddenly just wanted a baby. I've always been career-focused but knew I wanted kids some day and it truly was like my biological clock just kicked in (I'm in my late 20's). Sometimes the thought of getting left behind at work is pretty terrifying, but I know that'll disappear the second I get those two little lines...
     
  2. Babybushie28

    Babybushie28 Well-Known Member

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    Well I'd always wanted to be a mummy but loved holidays, drunken nites out and dating!

    I guess it proper hit me when I met my OH 2.5 yrs ago, I fell smack bang in love with him after just a few weeks and all I've wanted to do since is look after him and make babies with him!

    Being a girl i didn't tell him straight away but when I did he said he couldn't wait to start a family with me too, so we've had loadsa fun and were excited about the next stage, we've been ttc since stept last year and really hoping it wont take us much longer.

    xxxx
     
  3. Karate Kid

    Karate Kid Well-Known Member

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    Well I have wanted kids for as long as I can remember, hubby and I got together four years ago and we soon realised that we were both in love with babies and children. We got married August 2010 and though we would leave it a few years as I had only just qualified as an accountant and hubby had just been promoted. I started a new job that November and was convinced at this point that kids would be on the back burner in place of both of our careers.... But on our first anniversary we were away and we both had a long talk about the fact that we wanted children more than anything. Hubby was just so worried that I wouldn't want to give up my career yet, even though we had discussed that I would be the one to drop my hours. I enjoy work but the thought of being a mum makes me so much happier. My parents chose a caeer over children and as a result I was adopted because they left it too late.... Obviously I have gained so much as a result but my mum always says the only reason you shouldnt have children is because you are not ready emotionally/mentally.

    We started trying in October and didntexpect it to be smooth sailing, because of the adoption i have no clue a out my medical history. But in December we found out I was pregnant and it was magical. We cannot wait for our little one to arrive.

    I think you are ready when you have no massive urges to achieve more or experience more. But others may feel differently xx
     
  4. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    We decided that there was never going to be a right time and we would always find a reason to not do it (new bathroom, kitchen, sort the garden, last holiday etc) so we decided to ntnp and see what heppened- nothing! So on cycle 7 I used OPKs and got my BFP!
    The whole 'there will never be a good time let's just see what happens' stemmed from me on the wine getting too carried away and basically jumping OH's bones and not worrying about him putting on any protection :)

    XX
     
  5. H_Savage

    H_Savage Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the replies girls, and congratulations Karate Kid and Emily! We originally said we'd have a year of being married before we focused on babies... But we got married in August and by late November had decided five years was long enough to enjoy our own company/exciting holidays/booze! I do love my job (I get the chance to travel quite a bit and it can b really exciting) but I know nothing at work will make me as happy as a baby will. Although, that said, I'd definitely plan to go back to work.

    Karate Kid, your mum's advice seems very sound!
     
  6. Clairabella

    Clairabella Well-Known Member

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    I will be honest and admit that up until I met OH I never wanted children i never felt broody. We both met and enjoyed having 2/3 holidays a year and we never felt broody. But after we got married it was always the plan deep down to start trying in a couple of years that time came and we were still living what I describe as a very selfish lifestyle doing what we wanted and whenever we wanted.
    I then got made redundant and took a good look at our lifestyle and realised that we took our hols, weekends away etc for granted and OH started saying that he didn't want to leave it too long to have a baby and didnt want to be an old dad (OH is 35 which I still consider young) I then turned 30 and that's when it hit me and my maternal instincts kicked it... It's so hard to explain but it was almost overnight that I decided I was ready to become a mum we eventually started trying in Oct and we really can't wait for the BFP.
     
  7. Katkin72

    Katkin72 Well-Known Member

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    All my adult life I said I never wanted to have children. I had a very difficult childhood as my mum has bi-polar, and at the age of 11 my parents split up and I lived with my dad. My mum used to say she wished she had never had me and said she hated children. I grew up following her values and thought I would make a terrible mum and treat my kids the way she treated me, so I decided children wern't for me. My mum used to say if I had kids she would disown me!! I look back now and know it was just something she said to get a reaction, and she has even said several times recently that she quite likes the idea of being a grandma - result!! So, moving on to how my feelings changed - I met my husband (Mark) in March 2010, fell madly in love at 1st sight, had a whirlwind romance and got married in June last year. From very early on in our relationship we talked about having children and for the 1st time in my life I realised it was what I really wanted. I finally convinced myself I wasn't my mother, and just because she wasn't the best mum it didn't mean I would be the same. I would have loved to have started TTC as soon as we were married but as Mark is currently doing a Mental Health Nursing diploma, he wanted to wait till he had completed his course and hopefully got a job. So we agreed to start trying in February this year. I finish my Cerazette tablets this Wednesday so hopefully won't be too long a wait till I can join all the other ladies in the TTC section :) xxx
     
  8. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    I really like this thread!! :)

    I hadn't really thought about children (I had a mc in a previous relationship which made me broody for a little while, but I never wanted a baby with my ex)

    I met my husband in May 2007 and we started dating in June. By July we were madly, head over in heels in love, talking about getting married and having children some day.
    We led the selfish lifestyle for 4yrs, holidays abroad, weekends away, dinners out, drunken nights etc, then decided we wanted to settle down properly. We got married in June 2011 and started TTC straight away, which we had planned on for the whole year that we planned our wedding. My last pill was the day before my wedding :) got my BFP on 1st Dec :)

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
     
  9. Katkin72

    Katkin72 Well-Known Member

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    Ooh Jayjay, we got married in June 2011 too (19th).
     
  10. MissJuly10

    MissJuly10 Well-Known Member

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    Children were never on the agenda for me til I met my hubby, I met him and was engaged within a few months and married the following year. Right before our wedding, I'd decided I didn't want to get pregnant for a couple of years (kicking myself now!) but while we were on honeymoon I had a complete change of heart and we decided to start TTC straight away. 19 months later we're still TTC but going through infertility tests so getting closer to that BFP!

    x x
     
  11. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    Oh lovely! I got married on 11th.
    Would do it all again tomorrow if I could lol x

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
     
  12. vid_81

    vid_81 Well-Known Member

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    I have always liked children. I get along superb with them. But never wanted to be a mum myself (just too much work and responsibility :p ) - also, I am fiercely career oriented. However, as I will be turning 31 soon and DH is already 34, we decided we will just go for it and hoped that I will pick on the maternal instincts once I fall pregnant. So, all in all, it was a very logical decision (rather than an emotional one). Now that we have been TTC for 3 months, I can see myself being a mum. But just dread to think that my career will take a backseat... probably my career wont bother me much once I know there is a bean somewhere in there :)

    xx
     
    #12 vid_81, Feb 6, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2012
  13. tweetyfoo

    tweetyfoo Well-Known Member

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    Like a lot of you I never really wanted children until I met hubby, we had spoke about it before our wedding in July but I'd never really committed to it and neither had he. Then we got married, and our plan was to buy a house next, but children naturally felt like the next step and the more I thought about it the more I wanted it.

    Then I started to panic a little as Im 29 and it could take a while to get pregnant (and even longer to save for a deposit for a house) so had a chat with hubby - expecting him to talk me down (I had bribes and everything planned in my head) but we got started straight away!

    Now I can't wait to be a mum - and we are putting an offer in on a house today. Don't think life gets better than this you know! (Well maybe with a little extra sleep! ;-) )
     
  14. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I started to change my mind about kids when I met my OH, before him I had no real leanings towards motherhood..

    My beautiful nephew also went a long way to changing my feelings on children [by the time my other two nephews arrived I was a changed woman LOL]

    OH and I discussed children over the years is a very abstract way (IE "wonder what our babies will look like" etc...) but we never made any plans.

    I came off the pill in February last year as I'd decided I wanted a break - I am not a fan of hormonal contraceptives in genereal - but condoms didn't really work for us so I'd been on Mercilon for 4 years???

    We kind of agreed to try with the condoms though, but were really laissez faire with them.

    I got pregnant after one full cycle off the pill... :shock: :shock:

    We were both in total shock although OH was a lot happier than I was was (I was happy but I was terrified!!)

    Sadly I miscarried, but this just reinforced what we wanted.

    We fell pregnant again - twice - basically by NTNP (but I was keeping an eye on my dates) but again both ended in miscarriage...

    Each m/c has just further reinforced what we both want more than anything else in the world.

    We are both under the care a recurrent miscarriage clinic and will get our results in a months time to see if there is a reason for our losses. We are now full on TTC !!

    It's insane to think this time last year I was still on the pill? Yet here I am now desparate for a sticky bean

    xxxxxxxxx
     
    #14 CARNAT22, Feb 6, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2012
  15. mishi

    mishi Well-Known Member

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    I met my hubby in Jan 1999, loved him instantly, and we married in June 2002. Despite being wonderful with my daughter (she was 8 when we met) and the two of them having an amazing relationship, he didn't want kids of his own and I was ok with that at the time. I got terribly broody about 5 years ago, but he still wasn't keen, then 6 months ago we had a chat and to my utter astonishment he had done a complete u turn and confessed he was now desperate to have a family. I was really worried we had left it too late, but I came off contraception in July and we got our BFP 19th December and we couldnt be happier.x
     
  16. H_Savage

    H_Savage Well-Known Member

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    Loving reading everyone's stories :) Congratulations to all you pregnant ladies! Carnat, like you, my feelings were reinforced when friends started having babies. Although, it was more because it was proof that having a baby doesn't mean giving up on your career or losing your identity, which I was always terrified it would. Everyone I know who's had a kid is genuinely just a happier version of the person they were before.
     
  17. Clairabella

    Clairabella Well-Known Member

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    Such a fab thread and fx that we will all get our positive soon xx
     
  18. Cay84

    Cay84 Well-Known Member

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    This is a great thread!!! :)

    Always wanted kids but never been the right time for my OH, even though we've been together nearly 10 years (during which I went to uni, we bought a house etc). I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumour in 2009 which messed with my hormones and was told i would not be ovulating so didn't bother even trying. Started on treatment and finally saw an improvement in my progesterone last year (due another day 21 tomorrow..eek!).

    I guess the decision came when I started sobbing at the sight of a changing mat in toys r us (I must have been ovulating!!!) and told my OH how much it meant to me. We'd had a rough patch so chatted and decided to talk again after xmas. He then had probs with his eyes over xmas, diabetes related, and I think it made him realise how much it meant to him too.

    So we're officially in our first 2ww now :) he comes in from work every day and asks me if I'm pregnant yet :) xxx BABY DUST TO ALL xxx
     
  19. ams25

    ams25 Well-Known Member

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    Aww what a lovely thread!

    I've been with my hubby since I was 18 (25 now, so nearly 7 years). For the first few years of our rship I was wsy too young (in my own eyes) to think about babies, wanted to go to uni etc so it never crossed our minds. Then about 3 years ago we started talking about kids - not in a 'big talk' way, just commenting on names we liked or cute babies on the telly. We bought a house 2 years ago and straight away started calling the spare room 'the baby's room' lol :)

    We got married in july 2010 and then mega-broodiness hit us both haha! But babies were not an option at that point as I had gone onto a postgraduate uni course by then and still had a year left. So we sort of agreed we would start TTC once I finished my course in july 2011, as I had been working part-time in a shop and it wasn't looking like any other jobs were on the horizon for me, so just thought I'd carry on working in the shop and have a baby!

    Then 1 week after finishing uni, just as I was on my last pill pack, I got offered my dream job totally out of the blue in the area I had studied for! :D so TTC got put back again. I was secretly gutted tbh but also over the moon about the job and I knew it was important to try and have a good job to pay for baba too. So then we decided to TTC in April 2012. I came off the pill Nov 2011 to try and get it all out of my system, and we were going to use the pull-out/withdrawal method of contraception until April along with a bit of avoiding fertile dates (FULLY knowing how unreliable these methods are, and thinking we'd be over the moon with a happy accident). A week or so in to doing this, it became clear that neither of us were instigating the actual, erm, withdrawing part lol... We were both just so broody and so sick of waiting after already WTT for so long - we just knew we were ready and it was only my job putting us off! So it became proper full-blown TTC in december and jan with OPK's, evening primrose oil, the lot :D

    So its been a long journey but a happy one! X
     

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