How did you convince relatives/friends about BLW?

[Lulu_Laroo]

So now we've definitely decided to do BLW, I'm having a really tough time trying convince mil. We've gone through all the 'Oh but you can't do that, she'll choke!' conversations (or rather, OH has...) and I popped the book into her bag when she took Poppy for a few hours for her to read. When she came back and I asked if she read it she said she flicked through. And that was that - end of conversation. She completely brushed it off and made it obvious (to me) that she didn't agree with it and wasn't interested in even reading about it.

She looks after Poppy one day a week from about lunchtime - 6pm. So soon she's going to have to accept that this is what I'm doing, and start doing BLW with Poppy when she's in her care. If she doesn't, what do I do? Stop her from looking after her?

 

[MrsR]

I'd make sure she reads the book properly. I'd also sit down with her and explain exactly why you've chosen this, that it's your decision as Poppy's mummy, the benefits, research etc. it's important she realises that a blw baby learns by gagging and she needs to know the difference between poppy gagging to cope with food and choking. I would, unfortunately, make it clear that if she can not accept your choices for your daughter then you can't trust her to look after her. It sounds tough but that's what I'd do. Even now I will not let anyone look after my children if they can't stick to my rules. It's disrespectful to you and would be confusing for poppy. Sorry if I sound cruel.

 

[Maria1977]

We never met any comments from friends or family! We couldn't do it in the end coz issues with LOs development weaning wise, but now he's 1 he's fine with food, but v v fussy, now I get the comments from my mum!

He's too young for everything apparently! He hates tuna... it's because I shouldn't be giving him tuna at his age I offered him a taste of roast potato (he hates all potato but thought he might like the kind that's bad for you lol)... he's too young to be able to eat roast potato

I think it's a generation thing tbh!

We're hoping next LO can be blw though so I'm sure we will encounter a few comments if we are able to this time!

 

[Belfast girl]

Stick to your guns! And you have another month still to covince them.

We aren't doing 'proper' BLW (doing a bit of both) but my MIL and FIL were a bit concerned about Emma getting bits of whatever's to hand for lunch but when they saw her ripping bits of brocolli to shreds and putting it in her mouth and spitting out the excess they were fine with it - and actually said ooh what else can we give her?!

 

[hopefulmummy]

Hey, around Christmas time I posted a thread in here about being really annoyed at the comments I
Was getting from
Family about blw and people had some
Good advice. I'll see of I can find it x

 

[hopefulmummy]

Here it is -

http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/feeding-nutrition/224488-fed-up-irritated.html

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

Thank you!

 

[Kbex]

My mil drove me mad with her concerns about choking etc. gave her a copy of the book too but she didn't read it. Even now, and my daughter is over two, she cuts grapes in half, stresses about giving her meat and bigger food in case she chokes. She even still feeds her. Th in laws look after her a day a week and I dread to think what my daughter eats that day but I have just had to let it go. I keep reinforcing the message but have given up making her understand. Hope you have better luck. Still stresses me out sometimes but most of the time I am able to tell myself that as she is with them for a short time in the week what they do will have little long term influence on her. Good luck x

 

[Piglet's Mama]

I feel your pain I'm so fed up and we still have 5 weeks to go before we start!

 

[hopefulmummy]

It takes commitment because the comments don't disappear once you start! My mum even said to
Me just yesterday - who dont you just try him on purees as well? It's no harm!

 

[Smithy1980]

OMG I could have wrote this thread myself! I've read up and decided that we are going to do blw...oh is all for it too! Explained it all to mil the other day and 10 minutes later she says....'that baby needs purées she's starving!!' eeeeeerm did u just not listen to anything I said?!? (shes not starving btw lol)

Anyway I'm sure mils are just put on this earth to try us! Thing is when it comes to it if she won't follow my rules she won't have LO! Simples

Maybe I'm too harsh! Good luck hun xx


Sent from my sparkly new 4s!!!

 

[Franna75]

My Mum's the same, it's the little comments about them being starving that get me, which is rubbish, because he's about 20lbs!

I hope nearer the time your MIL will accept your wishes; it may be easier once she sees it in practice.

 

[Cantstop]

Could she maybe be there when LO is eating with you and watch it in action? At the end of the day, she doesn't have to agree with it, she just has to respect your decision. My MIL and Dad both thought the idea of BLW was daft, but both have seen her eating and seem to have come round a bit. LO has been with both of them at different times at meal times and both have given her what I said/left. I can't think what else you could do other than show her if she's not willing to read anything. My MIL was actually really good as although she wasn't keen on the idea, she was at least interested and read the bits of the book I showed her, and then seeing Lily in action loving her food and feeding herself she is quite converted, and now whenever we're around her at food times both her and FIL are falling over themselves to give her food to eat herself (though FIL, bless him, keeps trying to shove things in her mouth).

On the other hand, if she really isn't on board and you really need her babysitting skills, you could consider letting her give this one meal a week how she wants? I do BLW for lunch, dinner and snacks, but most mornings I spoonfeed her cereal and it hasn't had any negative effects on her progress. Ideally she should of course respect whatever you say but if you couldn't trust her, if it was me I'd rather know what she was actually doing than her pretending to do one thing and actually doing something else behind my back.

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh tricky one, well you need to be quite clear that , that's the way she will need to feed her when she has her as that's the way you want it done. I would provide MIL with your LO's dinner ready made in a bowl for her to reheat and serve, that way she won't be making her own!

Stick to your guns, try some dry runs with MIL feednig your food, when your there to help and advise, as maybee MIL is thinking it's a bit scary, which it can be, and once she's done it with you, she may feel more confident

 

[inky]

I must admit I didn't try to convince anyone as such, I just told them he was my baby and to keep their comments to themselves. Not just about BLW, everyone's got an opinion on pretty much everything it seems!

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

Thanks for your replies. The one about smoking on the labour ward is a good'un!

 

[hopefulmummy]

My Mum's the same, it's the little comments about them being starving that get me, which is rubbish, because he's about 20lbs!

I hope nearer the time your MIL will accept your wishes; it may be easier once she sees it in practice.

Ug, I know! I tell my mum he still wakes in the nights. The response?? "well maybe he's hungry, love..."

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

My mum has actually been fine with it and supports me 100%. It's just MIL I'm finding very hard to convince. Actually, the last time she looked after poppy and dropped her home, she stayed for a while and after I'd given poppy her milk and was cuddling her, she said "Maybe she needs weaning. Oh! I mean winding." - Hahaha, its obviously really playing on her mind!

 

[Piglet's Mama]

It's nice she's concerned for Poppy but it's your choice entirely.

If, for instance, you decided to wait til 7 months before giving her anything, then that's your decision to make as her Mummy. Noone should question you to the point of you having to convince or justify your parenting decisions. I don't see my MIL but if she made me feel like I had to convince her I'd be reluctant to include her as I'd feel she was constantly questionning me as a Mother.
I mean, if she keeps bleating on you could let MIL see you giving Poppy pre-loaded spoons of fruit/yoghurt etc Or maybe if she sees Poppy eating and enjoying it then she'll see it's fine. And BLW isn't new - alot of second, third babies are BLW to fit in with family so it's been around for years (just trying to think of some arguments for you). It's a bit easier for me as everyone sees B constantly put things in her mouth so to then we're just replacing toys or food! I hope you're not swayed by her, stick to your guns if it's really what you want to do x

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

It's nice she's concerned for Poppy but it's your choice entirely.

If, for instance, you decided to wait til 7 months before giving her anything, then that's your decision to make as her Mummy. Noone should question you to the point of you having to convince or justify your parenting decisions. I don't see my MIL but if she made me feel like I had to convince her I'd be reluctant to include her as I'd feel she was constantly questionning me as a Mother.
I mean, if she keeps bleating on you could let MIL see you giving Poppy pre-loaded spoons of fruit/yoghurt etc Or maybe if she sees Poppy eating and enjoying it then she'll see it's fine. And BLW isn't new - alot of second, third babies are BLW to fit in with family so it's been around for years (just trying to think of some arguments for you). It's a bit easier for me as everyone sees B constantly put things in her mouth so to then we're just replacing toys or food! I hope you're not swayed by her, stick to your guns if it's really what you want to do x

That's the thing, I can just see her mind thinking 'ridiculous new-age hippy crap' when it's not at all. Without trying to sound mean, my in-laws have lived in a little village all their lives and do seem very much wrapped up in their own little bubble. And of course I know it's because she's concerned about choking, she has a fear of it and jumps at the dinner table whenever somebody coughs! So I can see why it's such a problem for her. I just wish she would take the time to read the book. But if she's not interested I can't force her. I'll remember this thread whenever the issue is brought up. Poppy constantly has things in her mouth, too. So I'll say she's replacing her toys with food and see how that one goes down!