Hormonal or Not Hormonal?

[dannii87]

I'm going to try to be as honest as possible here so I can get true feedback on what you ACTUALLY think...

I need you to be honest and tell me if I am just being hormonal or if how I feel is normal (This might sound pathetic ) but it's really upset me;

My mum has a clubbed foot and always asks me to tell her honestly if her trousers/shoes look ok or if she needs to take her trousers up by a 1/2cm.

I always try to help her and be honest and tell her if she could do with tacking them up or not because she seriously lacks confidence about it and is constantly worried if people can notice and what not.

Tonight, she came in with a pair of trousers and asked how much to tack one of the legs up by, I said about 2 cm (she took it up by about 3/4 to be "on the safe side") so when she tried on her boots afetr she'd tacked them up, I said, "oh I think you've tacked them up too far, here, give me your ruler and I'll measure it properly" so I started measuring and writing the lengths down and she snapped and said "it's no good drawing bloody diagrams, just tell me roughly how far to tack them up" so I snapped back "about 2cm mum" and she said, "you said that last time and look at the length difference!" so I just said "YOU tacked them up too far! You need about 2cm, if I'm doing it wrong get Martin (my step dad) to help you"...

...She replied "Oh for f*cks sake Dannii, you are acting like a kid and to think you'll be bringing one into the world!? Scary thought" and sat angrily on the sofa so I just grabbed the laptop and came up to my room...

(Just to add - I confided in her this weekend that I'm worried about what kind of mum I'll be and if I'll do a good job or not and even broached it again this morning with her).

The question is, would you be p*ssed off that you went out of your way to help someone with something they aren't confident about only to get snapped at and basically shot down about my parenting when baby hasn't even arrived?

I really hope to get some honest opinions here because if I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill then I'll go down and make it up with her... xx

 

[nickilubs]

Aww I would be really pished off if anyone said that too me. Well I kind of expect it but I know it would be in the way of " to think your having a kid" in a joking type way.

I do expect it from my older sister coz she can be a biatch but not from my Mum it would upset me loads if she was to say that especially if I was trying to help.

 

[NickyB]

I don't think it's you, honestly. I think maybe you embarrassed her when you reminded her you had said 2cms, maybe she heard 2 inches so did more or something? Some people don't react well when they know they're wrong.

I know she's your mum so I don't want to overstep the mark, but it seems mean to pick on something she knows you're worried about, but I'm sure she wouldn't have meant it like that

 

[claireyfairey]

Aw hun

I bet it's a combination of things that are making you both feel bad. Your mum obviously feels sensitive about her feet and was obviously tense and anxious that you get it right...and you're obviously pregnant and tired etc which caused you both to explode!

I'm sure she didn't mean her comment...my mum says stupid things like that when she's stressed out but often apologises if she knows she's been out of line. Maybe just let the air clear a bit and just apologise to your mum for being a little short tempered and I bet she'll say sorry too.

(And believe me, I know how cruddy it is to be hormonal - I get cross at the slightest things and my other half is driving me round the bend right now! If I didn't love him so much I'd be wringing his neck by now, and throwing his XBox 360 out of the window )

Much love,

Claire xxx

 

[HideiLu]

Hey little lady. You know I'll always be honest with you chica.

No, don't think you've done anything wrong hun. Sometimes when people have a confidence issue with something, they can get very sensitive about it, even when you are not insulting it or pointed out, just being in a situation that brings some sort of attention to the issue can put them on edge (quick example - James is VERY sensitive about his receeding hair, and even if I so much as try and put a hair back in place he could flip out).

You will certainly NOT have anything to worry about about what kind of Mum you will be! You are already an amazing Mum and have been sooo strong for your LO. And I really truly admire the love that you have shown towards the baby since the word go. That's one lucky little baby and it will love you so much.

I think just let the water settle then maybe go give your Mum a hug (even though you are not in the wrong) or make her a cuppa or something.

Sending you a big squeeze.... just be glad I'm not really there breathing a big garlic hug on you as you know I just had kievs! xx

 

[Mildly]

Aww I'm sure she didn't mean it hun.

It was probably a mixture of your Mum overreacting about an issue that she is very insecure about and hitting back with a comment which just happened to be something you are a bit insecure about.

I hope you both sort it out soon

 

[Tadpole]

Nah I don't think you were in the wrong. I think it was just one of those silly little arguments you ahve with your family. I snapped at my sister at the weekend just because she was talking about the amount of washing I will need to do with reusable nappies. (Well, banging on incessantly actually! )I wouldn't worry hon, she knows you didn't mean it and I'm sure she is kicking herself for what she said.

 

[dannii87]

Thank you girls

I think I know deep down that it's a silly argument otherwise I wouldn't have questioned whether it was my hormones or not!!

I appreciate your comments and honesty because her being my mum aside, it was the comment she made that irritated me. Yes she's my mum and I love her, but she does have a tendancy to be a bit spiteful sometimes (thinking before speaking).

We are very similar in the way that we are both so stubborn that it's like Russian Roulette who will apologise first! Then, whoever apologises first will make the other feel bad for not apologising before them (we are sooooo childish lol)

Cheers again girls! I'm still in my room and will probably stay here until I go to sleep..!

And Lucie, get your stinking garlic breath away from me!! *RUUUUUUNS*

 

[lauramumof2]

its not hormones. 2cm is 2cm, thats what you said and if she done it wrong and didnt check it then thats tuff, not your fault.

Inaccurate measuring makes me mad

 

[HideiLu]

Inaccurate measuring makes me mad

That made me chuckle!

I'm sure she will regret her comment Dannii and I'm sure she didn't really mean it!

At least you have us 'in' your room...the smelly and the not so smelly! Did I mention I have bad wind today too?!! Brussel sprouts from yesterday are still lurking I guess!!

**Lucie ponders the thread she just started on xbox and discovers the real reason James loves the xbox more**

 

[millylillyrose]

yes....that would upset me. im finding myself very protective over baby related issues at the moment. and i think i also have every right. But dont let it alter your relationship with your mum, she was probably having a bad day and snapped.
I no longer talk to my eldest brother who lives in china cuz of some nasty txts he sent me refering to my unborn baby as 'that rancid shit in your stomach' (his words got worse and i dont wish to type such obsenities.) All because i didnt answer the phone when he called one day, UGH!
Well i was de-railed by that and feel total right to be.

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

Hi Danni,
it sounds like a silly mother & daughter argument to me (we all have them) I don't think you were in the wrong and mum's aren't always right even though they might like to think they are! I think its hard for them to realise that their children are actually right sometimes lol
BUT whatever you do don't go to sleep on an argument, sort it out before, i'm a strong believer in that!
Hope your ok hun (i'l be joining you all here tomorrow!)
Take care

 

[kabey]

No offence but it sounds like SHE was the one acting like a kid!
You tried to help and you couldn't really have done anything else, but if you say she's really self-conscious then it was inevitable that she'd snap eventually!
Don't take it to heart - you're very lucky to hae a good relationship with her normally - and this incident does NOT mean you won't be a good mum!
You seem like a very level-headed and caring person Dannii xx

 

[CharlieC]

(And believe me, I know how cruddy it is to be hormonal - I get cross at the slightest things and my other half is driving me round the bend right now! If I didn't love him so much I'd be wringing his neck by now, and throwing his XBox 360 out of the window )

Much love,

Claire xxx

I had to laugh at this one as I remember being around the 16 - 18 weeks mark and my OH couldn't do a thing right, in fact I remember telling him I was quite prepared to bring baby up on my own just because he'd left his smelly socks on the bathroom floor! one minute I wanted him out of my hair so he went on the computer.. the next I was threatening to throw it out of the window as he wasn't spending any time with me LOL! Thankfully it does get better and we're really back to normal, in fact better than ever really!

 

[dannii87]

Thank you girls. We're still not talking and it's 50/50 who will break the silence first! It's so frustrating because I hate it being like this but our stubborn ways are getting inbetween us!

Any bets on who will crack first?! LOL! xx

 

[nickilubs]

Haha can't believe you two aint talking! Awwwww I put bets on your mammy cracking first hehe! xx