Hi i just need a little advice and encouragement

cheltenham_mum

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Hi,
I am 25 years old and found out that i am 8 weeks pregnant after a night of "what i thought was safe" fun. I never thought i would be pregnant in circumstances like this.
the father doesnt want anything to do with it so i am left on my own. My family all live in ireland so i have no family support.
i want to keep the baby but i am terrified that i will not cope emotionally. i am scared that it will not stop crying and i have no one to go to.

i guess i am wondering was there times when u felt like this and how did u get through them.

i am excited about meeting my little boy or girl.
 
Welcome to the forum hun. Sorry you're having a tough time of it. I wasnt a single mum while pregnant but I was not long after for many years and it's not all bad - there are lots of positives to going it alone too :)
 
:hug: I think you might need a hug! Im going to be a single mum as well, and this pregnancy was completly unexpected. Sometimes Ill get really down about things and wonder how Ill cope but I just keep thinking of the little baby and try and instill a bit of self confidence and telling myself that there are so many women out there who have done this and Ill damn well do it to!

Its just a case of trying to stay as positive as you can, but dont get too down on yourself if you do have a bad day. Im sure youll be fab. Just keep ringing your family up and talking to them, and keep your friends around :) Im at uni so Ive been 100 miles away from my family for most of this pregnancy and found just talking on the phone to them helped.

I hope you feel better about everything soon. I hope you have a healthy and happy 9 months :)

btw, cheltenham is a beautiful place to bring up a child...its what Ill be doing!
 
Welcome!!! I brought up my daughter single handedly til she was 3 and was single throughout my pregnancy. I was a bit 'this isn't really happening' for the first 3 months and then when I saw her on the first scan I knew I'd made the right descision. I had absolutely no experience of anything to do with babies but it didn't really phase me until I was nearly due. I even freaked out in labour because I was never a 'baby' person and considered them rather ugly, smelly and noisy do I was worried I wouldn't like her! Then she arrived! Omg it was the most amazing moment of my life! I had the most overwhelming rush of love for her and everything seemed to come naturally-it was like a switch had been flipped and I knew what to do. I had my sister there and my parents now and again. I think you'll be fine, join some antenaral stuff like exercise classes if you can and meet some people who are pregnant too! As for the father, I can understand he's shocked, scared etc but then again so are you. He might change his mind in the future but even if he doesn't he has to provide you with money for his child, whether he wants anything to do with it or not. Good luck and we're here for you to offer support/advice etc when you should need it x
 
You do have people to talk to - us. It might not seem like much, but we will always be here to support you and listen, 24 hours a day :hug:
 
You've come to the right place for advice and support hun. Were all friendly. supportive and some of us are a little bit mental (not me of course :lol:)

I know your scared and feel alone but i bet your alot stronger than you think. If you want to do this then you can, and i bet you will do a brilliant job of raising your child. You won't be alone forever either.

big hugs to you chick :hug: were here when ever you need us xx
 
im also single although for me it by choice and this forum is a goodsend it full of lovely and supportive people so welcome xx
 
i was only 17 wen i had my little boy and although i was not single i was in a violent relationship and i was always left on my own to look after the baby so i may as well have been single. i think you seriously need to take into consideration wot sort of mental state you are in and really think about weather or not you think you will cope. although you have the support of the members on here its not the same as bein able to ring your mum up and say "im nakerd and i am loosing my mind please come give me a break" for me personally i coped for the first few weeks doing it all alone but then i sunk into depression and i was that worn down from the night feeds i really could not look after him anymore as i was that worn down. im not sure what would have happend if i never had family or friends to ring up and come help out. so please dothink carefully about what you would do if you get into the situation of bein worn down and not being able to cope cause its not nice strugling wen u have noone to turn to. x
 
:)Congratulations! Believe me this will be the most wonderful thing even if not under the most desired circumstances. I found myself single and pregnant at 25 with my son who's now 12, I've pretty much brought him up alone with the exception of a few bad choices of boyfriend until I met my husband a couple of years back.

I moved back to my home for family support only to find that I was 'a disappointment' and 'had ruined my life'. My mum now has photos of her 'blue eyed boy' all over her office, spoils him rotten and tells everyone how proud she is of us both. It's amazing how quickly people get over disappointment and fall in love when they hold their grandchild!

Hang in there and concentrate on developing good support networks, go to any antenatal classes, groups etc, get to know other mums and work out which friends you can rely on. Unfortunately some do drop off the face of the planet when you are discussing nappies, feeding, sleeping etc and they're nursing hangovers and gossip from nights out. And don't be afraid to ask for help from midwives, health visitors etc. And see if Gingerbread have a group in your area.

It will all be worth it when you hold your baby in your arms, there is nothing to compare to the overwhelming feelings of love and joy.

Good luck!
 
Happy to hear that you're exited :)

It's still early stage, but it will get more real as time goes by. Trust me, you'll have quite enough time to adjust for this new 'ruler' of your life. You may now just focus on getting your life in order, so that once your baby comes - you can focus on him/her :)
 

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