Help..& weeks?

Discussion in 'Forum Friends' started by dc1000, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. dc1000

    dc1000 Active Member

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    Hi,

    I'm 7 weeks and this is my first. I have no support and i'm totally worried that i'm not going to be able to cope. My Partner is not interested and will not be around as he now worka abroad. He can only give me advice by telephone but really has no interest in the baby as he is developing a nack for changing the subject as soon as i start talking about it.
    I just don't know what to do and i'm crying constantly and feeling fat already. Not sure how i'll cope when a baby comes...
    Don't know what to do for the best?
     
  2. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

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    awww hun sounds like your really going through the mill at the moment i hope everything works out for you remember there is always someone here to talk to xxxxxx
     
  3. ree77

    ree77 Well-Known Member

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    Hello dc1000,

    I'm so sorry your going through this!! I just wanted to tell you that there is always someone here to talk to about anything!! Even if it is just to vent, we are always here. Things seem pretty bad right now but somehow we always find the strength to fight even when we don't want to. :wink:

    xoxo Ree
     
  4. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    Hi dc1000
    I read your other post - I'm really sorry that you find yourself in this awful situation. I hope I'm not patronising you if I ask your age? Not that it matters, as it is a hard enough situation for anyone of any age to cope with.
    My only advice to you would be to go with your heart. I know of so many people that make things work against all odds, and then so many that choose to terminate because everything is against them. Dispite all the conflicting information you receive from all the resources, you will know what the right thing is to do. Perhaps you're very ready for this little bunny or perhaps not. No one will be able to judge you whatever discission you make - you'll be doing what's right for you!
    Do you still live with your parents? How do they feel about it or don't they know? If you could confide in someone you trust - you'll be able to make clear discissions. My heart really goes out to you - it makes me sad that at a time like this you have little help or support. I guess it's no good trying to rely on the dad or this baby - he's clearly not interested, no matter how much you try and convince yourself of the possibility that he may change.
    You have some time - talk to folk on this forum if you're struggling. Speak to your GP practice nurse - she will be able to give you much needed advice and support.
    I'll be thinking of you! Good luck...
    Big hugs
    Emilia xx
     
  5. dc1000

    dc1000 Active Member

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    Thanks for all your help and support. It really helps since the babies father is just crap and my Mother thinks i am an embarrissment as i will be a single parent (in my thirties?) Horrible woman says that she wont be around to help babysit..so between her and the sperm donor who she now feels sorry for i feel totally on my own, I thought she might be pleased for me but not at all... I apparently wont be able to cope - not the kind of thing you want to hear when from your so called family...

    Everythig is just a complete mess.
     
  6. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    I cannot believe your mum said that to you.

    My mum is over the moon about my baby and I am sure she would be right behind me, whatever the circumstances.

    Keep logging on here for support. We are a friendly bunch and will help you emotionally as much as possible.

    Take care of yourself Hun
     
  7. ree77

    ree77 Well-Known Member

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    Hi dc100

    It's hard to go through this without your family it has been over a year since I have spoken to my mom and during this time it's very hard, but I know that I am better off without that. My mom has not tried to contact me since I have gotten pregnant and I know she knows but that's ok because anyone that could say or think that about their child does not deserve their child in my opinion, that maybe harsh but you are suppose to cherish your children not turn your back on them and I am sorry that you are going through this. Do you have any other family or friends???

    xoxo Ree
     
  8. dc1000

    dc1000 Active Member

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    Ree, Thats so awful...I can't quite understand why my Mum is being the way she is but we have never had a great relationship and as a Mother i have found some of the hurtful things she has done to me over the years inexcuseable but it is something i have always pushed to the back of my mind.
    I think it's awful that your Mum hasn't paid any attention to your situation either and it sounds like your Mum and mine's are just not cut out to be Mum's. Maybe we can use them as an example and be completely different from them. At least we have this forum and any time you need to chat then just get in touch with me and we can swap evil Mother stories..Chin up Sweetie xx
     
  9. Skidoo

    Skidoo Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear you're going through it at the moment. The pregnancy part does get easier at least. The first couple of months are pretty awful - I was exhausted the whole time and yet unable to get to sleep at night!! It's difficult because you feel worse than you look (I'm sure you look just fine!) and you don't want to go around telling everyone so early. I found it a lonely time even with a partner, so I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

    And I'm so sorry you're mum is being such a cow about this. For g-d's sake - what century does she think we're living in??? I hope, for her sake as well as yours and the baby, that she'll come round in time. Is there any hope of that? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Are they any use? Aunts and uncles?

    Well, you've got this forum at any rate!! And there are several others like it around the net as well. Virtual support may not be much, but I hope it's some comfort.
     
  10. dc1000

    dc1000 Active Member

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    Mum still not talking to me. Totally clear on that and no chance of change. My Sis will support me but she has her own life which is already very full. My Dad takes my Mum's side for a quiet life and my ex is just the biggest waste of space, he doesn't talk about it on the phone anymore and when i try to he changes the subject. He's a lost cause so i'm 12 weeks now and on my own... Well apart from the wee one xxx
     
  11. weestar21

    weestar21 Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry what your going through dc and i totaly understand how u and ree both feel towards your mum's, im going through the same with mine i havent spoke to mine in almost 2 years. My daughter was born 12 weeks premature and my parents turned up to the hospital drunk it was horrible not knowing if your baby was going to survive but your parents turning up drunk saying she wished she had aborted me but i push that to teh back of my mind cos i have my daughter to think about and i always swore when i was pregnant i would treat her the way i wasnt.
    I'm now pregnant with my second and have moved house last yr so my parents havent seen my wee girl in over 2 years and shes nearly 4 but its them who is loosing out not us!

    I wish their was something i could say to make things easier for you dc but anytime you or anyone need a chin wag im always poping on to that chat room but their is never anyone there when i go on....lol

    Take care everyone

    Jean

    xxxxxxxxxxxxx :)
     
  12. dc1000

    dc1000 Active Member

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    It seems there are alot of us out their in the same boat. It's pretty awful that your parents did that to you wspecially when you had a very premature baby to think of. No offence but it sounds like you are better off without them and i know what you mean about the whole never bringing your kids up the same way as your parents brought you up...I'd hate my vhild to be like my Mother in any way. I'm finished with the Woman anyway. She's never been much of a Mother and this just took the biscuit. She doesn't exist to me anymore and i'll be having a nice quiet Xmas away from her horrible remarks and unhealthy put downs that she enjoys so much. Good Luck Guys xxx
     

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