Help.... Iv lost my patience

[Duds]

Sorry for the whinge girls.... I know its prob just a bad few days but I feel really upset and frustrated today.
I love Aimee to bits I really do but I dont know how much more I can take of her crying blue murder almost every day and always every evening.
I'v never known a baby to go from smiling to crying so quickly. Are they all like that? She's great when she's happy.
Things were improving & I was managing to get her down in the day for a couple of naps & she was going down better at night, now its suddenly all gone out the window. What am I doing wrong? Compared to when she was newborn they are still better but im scared my patience has gone, I feel so frustrated & found myself shouting at her today. I just cant bear the crying and whinging anymore.
I went to my post natal group yesterday and she cryed the whole time because she was over tired & finds it difficult to sleep. Everyone elses babies seem happy and content and seem to sleep all the time!

Its not just the crying thats the prob, she also wont take her feeds, she had 1 bottle of 150ml this morning which she took well but since has cryed for milk then taken about 30ml fine then stops and smiles and messes around with the teat, iv been trying to get a feed down her for 1 1/2 hours now before giving up, she then starts crying again for it about and hour 1/2 later! How do I stop this???? She has been like this with her milk for weeks now but just gets worse and worse.... im thinking maybe its to do with her reflux... I dont know....

I just thought that things would be better by almost 4 months old, I feel like im failing, especially as my OH is so laid back with her.

 

[emilia]

Hi Duds....
Shame, I really feel for you! You must be at the end of your tether - I know I would be. However, I think that it's perhaps an option to take Aimee to a peadiatrian for advice. A GP is not going to help you, that is for sure. I also don't know what sort of birth you had with Aimee, but it might stem from that - I genuinely believe that it's possible for baby to suffer as result of birth ie, traumatic natural, sections, ventouse, etc... In that case, have a look at this site:
www.craniosacral.co.uk/cstchildren.html

How is Aimee in the pram if you were to take her out for a walk? I know what it's like when you're out with baby and all they do is scream!! I use to find it embarrassing with my first child, as I always thought that people would think I'm cruel to the child!!

Have you anyone that can take Aimee out for a walk so that you can have a few minutes to "rejuvinate" yourself!!! Charge your batteries!!!
It's amazing how just 10 minutes of NOT having a screaming baby in your arms or around you, can make you feel so much better when you do see baby again - falling in love all over again!

I don't know what to suggest otherwise. It just sounds like something is wrong there. Some babies naturally cry alot (apparently my DH never stopped crying when he was small), but even so, I would be inclined to get her checked out by a professional! It sounds like her tummy is troubling her - shame, the wee lamb must really be having some kind of discomfort. Does rocking help? Or would she settle more if she was in a baby carrier? I know she's 4 months now and probably quite heavy, but that might sort her out. Also massaging her abdomen in clockwise strokes. Very gently, mostly with your thumb.

Sorry that I can't be of more help. I really hope she settles down, but it might only be after a trip to the peadiatrician.
Let me know how you get on or if you want, pm me. I am really sorry that you're going through this!!!
Be strong - Aimee needs you badly.
Emilia xx

 

[Vicky]

Have you done baby massage on aimee to try and relax her, they do one on the tummy to reduce colic or tummy ache? or try and put her feeds a bit longer inbetween and give her water when she crys it will be hard and she might cry cos she is hungary even if it is half an hour more then it used is might make her take the full feed and she might be more content.

No your baby is not the only one who can not seem to sleep during the day I have to stand their for ages rocking kacy until she doeses of then put her down or put her down and let her scream until she goes to sleep but she does go off.

If you can't cope with aimee crying all the time just put her in her cot for 5 minutes nothing bad will happen to her she will be safe but it means you get a breather go down stairs get a cup of tea have a quick shower put some music on to drain her out, you never no she might go offf to sleep when she relises your not going to come in if she keeps crying.

I hope everything works out for you hunny.

 

[Urchin]

Awww Duds.
My friend Beany who is a member here will know exactly how you feel. I was out with her today and little Lawson cried and cried, slept for 20 mins then cried and cried some more.
I said to her maybe it's time to talk to her HV about getting a paed. appointment. I think you should do the same.
My boss had a screaming baby and she got referred to a chiropractor, after ONE appointment on her back she never screamed again.

GOOD LUCK

((((hug))))

 

[lisa31]

Duds

How are things now? Any improvement. I know how you feel - I have done quite a few posts on how heidi was getting me down with crying and not settling. I am finding myself giving into her (e.g not putting her to bed as per the routine cos its an easier life if you do )

Lets hope things pick up soon. In the meantime, try and get on here for a break - everyone has given me some good advice

L x

 

[babsi]

Kai had a bad patch last week and it really was very frustrating and it was because of a switch of formula. All the change was that it had the omegas added, it was exactly the same brand. Since switching back to his old one he is back to his normal self.

Also I know how stressful it is at those groups with your baby crying, Kai was particularly bad last Wednesday he wouldn't stop. To make me feel bad someone said I should feed him, not bottle but breastfeed him. Then it was the normal ohhh's that I don't know. Then I said he was fed about 30 minutes ago and it was 6oz's and it would be too much feeding him again and he would be sick, that actually didn't seem to go through as I think a few of the mother's there that breastfeed don't have an understanding of formula feeding. They all seem to think crying means feeding when in Kai's case it was because he was tired and he fights it and that is reason 9 times out of 10 he cries and it is something that I have picked up a lot better now, I either put him in his highchair or lie on the bed with him with the dummy in his mouth and he goes to sleep.

Going out for a walk with your baby is a great way to calm them down, with Kai that works quite well a lot of the time. 2 minutes walking and he is asleep, and now the weather is better we will be going out probably around twice a day now.

 

[tracyM]

Alex is the same with his reflux. He's an angel when he first gets up (he's laid on his changing mat now gurgling and smiling), has his first bottle really well then goes downhill. He's improved over the last week or so because we've been pushing him to 4 hours between bottles - he's still a grumpy bum, but he takes his bottles better, and we get 15 minutes peace while he has the bottle.

Does Aimee have a dummy? - the sucking action helps them swallow the stomach acid back down. Feeding more helps, like us sipping milk when we have heartburn. HV keeps recommending that I try Alex on 2oz every hour during the day, but with 3 other kids, working and looking after the house, it would be a nightmare to cope with it.

We find that some of his screams are through habit. We've started making daft noises back at him and we get an instant smile. If I get to the end of my tether with him, I put the hoover on.

 

[Duds]

Maybe your right & I should see a peadiatrian,I have booked to see the HV and the Doc on monday, do I just ask them to be referred?

I had a ventouse delivery & a few people have suggested since she was born she should see cranial specialist. Would it not be too late now though?
Had a BAD night last night, Aimee took 120ml at 11pm and then woke from 2am onwards, I didnt feed her at first and she dozed back off eventually but then kept waking and screaming, i eventually gave in and fed her at 4am. She still only took 110ml so couldnt of been that hungry.
Im so tired today, feel like a zombie.
I am leaving it 4hrs between feeds & she's still not interested....
I have decided to give her a very small feed at night in the hope she will then feed better in the day & if that fails then give her water.... does this sound like a good idea?

Unfortunately the pram or the car seat does not work, she just cries in the car seat and if i take her out in the pram she doesnt like it for long and rarely sleeps, infact she's the opposite and wide awake, therefore gets overtired and crys more!

Thanks for all your advice guys, its good to know im not alone. hubbie is on duty tonight so I am gonna sleep !!!!

Lisa - I have read & replied on a few of your posts & knew you were having probs also.... hope things are better for you...?

Suzy
x

 

[melhoney]

Don't really know what to add, sorry, Duds!!!

But the cranial osteopathy seems a good option to look into! It DOES work!
It has helped ME a lot, and I am far older than a couple of months!
so, I would not say it's too late!

Wish you luck, wahetever you decide to do! let us know!
Mel xx

 

[lauramumof2]

But the cranial osteopathy seems a good option to look into! It DOES work!
Mel xx

I have heard really good things about this.

When you see your hv tell them, dont ask them. They arent very good I find with things like this and if you go in with any doubt they will tell you to do this and that when all you want is to get referred.

 

[Manda]

Duds i'm having a problem with Abi with her bottles and put it down to being on solids as well she will take about 80ml then start spitting the teat out or blowing raspberries with it, after a week of trying to get her to take them i have now started offering 100ml every 2 hours plus breast feeding in between this just gets her to the minimum she should be taking.

Have you tried Amy with and calpol, if Abi crys and i cant calm her down after a while i'll try dimidon which is the same as calpol and it normally works, they're going through that teething stage now too, is she on solids yet?

 

[Duds]

Hi ya,

I have contact a cranial specialist today so will let you know how it goes...
She actually slept through again last night (not that im resentful or anything but why do they always sleep through whn the OH's are on night duty ?!! ) so hopefully my plan of feeding less through the night will work.
She hasnt taken much today & I could get anything down her for 6 hours, surely this is not normal? Im seeing the HV tomorrow so will see what she says.
Can I just ask also is it normal for a baby to cry (real tears) & seem in real distress from 5 til bedtime most nights? She was really bad this eveing and I feel really sorry for her & cant work out if she's not well or overtired/ovestimulated. She has gone to bed fine now and I put her down over half hour early so she was obiously tired but now im going to worry incase she unwell.



Manda - no, She's not on solids yet - im hoping the relfux and tummy probs will get better when she does
I have thought about calpol on numerous occassions but never end up giving it to her.

Suzy
x
p.s i think im getting addicted to this site !

 

[Kim]

Have you tried baby massage? I find it invaluable with Rubie. The first sign of a tantrum I whip her legs out and give them a good rub, she's smiling in no time

May not work for everyone but worth a try maybe???

 

[Manda]

Try the calpol hun it wont hurt her, if we're in pain we take pain killers, it's cruel to let them suffer if it doesn't work you know she's not in pain and it's summat else good luck!

 

[emilia]

Good luck for today Duds...
I hope Aimee feels better soon!!
Emilia xx

ps. With regards to crying real tears after 5, sounds like colic. Normal if it is colic... my son was like that.

 

[lisa31]

Good luck Duds - let us know how it goes...

Still not that good my end either!

L x

 

[Duds]

Just to give you an update. I saw the HV yesterday and god I felt terrible when I left.... I really dont like them, they are so patronizing.
After trying to talk to her about Aimee's reflux and feeding probs she quickly whipped out a PND questionaire and told me to fill it in without even being to interested as to why I was finding certain aspects difficult. She then totted the results up like a teacher and told me "well your borderline so I better keep an eye on you" ! I told her that I am normally quite a stressed person and can feel anxious sometimes even before I had a baby but she wasnt really listening.
She then had a go at me because I changed Aimee on the docs bed & took my eyes of her to bend down and pick the bag up!
I know its their job but I think they go a little overboard. So I left feeling worse than before I went in.

Anyway we are seeing a cranial specialist today at 4 - thanks for that weblink Emilia, I found her through there. The Hv seems to think that she will cry more because of the reflux but Im not listening to her!

Thanks for all your replies girls
x

 

[melhoney]

sorry to hear about your bad experience!!! grrrrrrrrrr
I'm due to see my GP at 15:30 this afternoon, because Maheen has been unwell for 4 to 5 days now, with a peak yesterday (she got fever!!).
I have quite a few concerns and he better listen to me, coz just like you...I am loosing my patience...but not with my daughter, with them!!!
I feel I can get started very quickly and easily, so he better not wind me up!
anyway,
It's good you have an appt for the cranial therapy...somethinmg to look forward to
I am taking Maheen on the 6th of May! Will do her good, I am sure!
take care,
Mel xx

 

[lisa31]

Duds - I keep asking myself the same questions - why are HV so useless??!!! - honnestly I get better advice on here!

Melhoney - dont forget to let me know how Maheen gets on. Has she still got the rash???

L x

 

[melhoney]

right...for once, I have been listened to!!!
GP was nice, he is usally but it;s hard to get to see him..he must be popular and even if I call right at the beginning of the day, I usually can't get an appointment!
Anyway, he's checked Maheen and she has apparently fougt a little virus, but is coming out f it now. the redness on her skin is dry skin patches, maybe due to men C vaccin, and her poo is due to the virus she fought (she is actually getting better, it was fine and yellow again tonight! (sorry TMI )
For the eye, well, he thinks it is tear duct blocked, but he took a swab to check it...that's all what I am asking for, really!

Last night, we gave her some calpol as she had a bit a fever (not much but her eyes were red and a bit swollen!) and she slept through till 5:30 non stop! I think she woke up because of my husband;'s alarm, and after her feed, she went back to sleep till 100!!! so, so did I!!! it felt soooo good to sleep in the morning, that's when I prefer to sleep!

Otherwise, hehehe, he said that maheen was "a clever little girl", as she holds her head completely unaided now, and he just pulled her arms to put her from lying position to sitting position, and she jst followed with her head very steady !!!

My girl is a clever girl, my girl is a clever girl, nanana!!!! 8) 8) 8)

I also asked him to weight her as I don't really feel like going back there on thursday for the baby clinic and at not even 10 weeks (will be next Saturday!), she is 5kg 32 (11lbs 11)!! what a good girl!
Voila that's it for now...sory I am always so long when I talk on this forum, can't seem to find an easy and short way to express myself!
or maybe its just I need to talk! as I don't see anyne during the day!

Thanks for reading
Take care,
Mel xx