Help i need to know if i am just being sensitive!

Discussion in 'Home Life & Finances' started by scared 19, Jul 1, 2005.

  1. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    I have been working for this company for 4 months now and in the begining it was great (i suppose most jobs are tho aint they!) i was the office junior that just did all the meaningless tasks but i made it what it was and got myself noticed i was given a promotion in 3 months to the main receptionist, i was so chuffed the woman that did that orignialy was a total cow to me she hated the facted that i had my own initative so she left blaming it on me and telling most of the other people that work here that was why! this was hard as i always try and do my best but here i just get punished for it! but because she was in her 50's and most of the other people are too they all took her side i still get on with most of the people here but it is so hard!
    Now the reason i started working here in the first place was because my mum knew this woman (my boss now) and we got talking cuz she needed someone to start straight away and as i had just suffered a miscarage i werent working it was conveniant for the both of us, i thought she was absolutly great we were always having a laugh and we got on so well, but since i have taken over reception she has changed so much, if it is not bad enough that i get picked at (and by this i mean every little thing i do for example - i was sat with my knee up on my chair when no one was in reception just relaxing as i had been sat still for 4 hours and this woman shouted at m,e loud enough for people in the other offices to hear) but now she has started doing it "go out and buy a suit get yourself looking smarter"! i would just like to add that i was sat there wearing a shirt and black trousers when she said this! i felt like turning around and saying well i cant actually afford it and this is'nt a lie i have just moved into a house with my boyfriend and almost all of my money form this hell whole goes into that bearing in mind i only get paid £742 after tax it doesnt leave me with a lot after the bills and everything has been taken into account but i would of just sounded like a trap!

    The thing that is hurting me the most is that they keep saying like things to me like picking all the time i cant be myself anymore i am a really friendly person and me and my other half always call people babe or bab or something like that i have been told! not asked told not to do that too! smarten up to move my desk around because it looks messy and its not its just organised! i cant bear it any more its breaking me down i cant be me.


    I am so sorry to go on girls but i am finding this so hard but if i leave people are going to think it is becasue i am pregnant and not becasue of how bad it is, and i dont want people thinking that of me please help me girls what would you do??

    Sorry

    A very upset Liann but hopefully a happy sweetpea!


    :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry:
     
  2. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    Sorry to hear you are having a hard time at work. I actually resigned from my job so I could concentrate on starting a family (The stress was stopping me falling pg i'm sure). Anyway I happened to work as a sales executive for a company that publish legislative reference guides for companies and one of the subjects we covered was employment law. I am no expert but from what you have said you are being unfairly treated and discriminated against, possibly because you are pregnant. You would be surprised at the amount of employers who work people out of their jobs when they fall pregnant just so they don't have to pay out any maternity money. By work you out of your job I mean that they make life so horrible for you that you leave of you own accord because if they sacked you it would be classed as unfair dismissal unless you had done something very wrong which justified you being fired. If you don't think this is the case then I would say bloody well stick up for yourself and always always speak out when you feel you are being treated unfairly because if you don't stick up for yourself then no-one else will. I know its hard but you can't let people walk all over you. Also remember that being pregnant plays with your emotions so just think how you would react to the situation you are in now if you wasn't pregnant. You are allowed to feel sensitive if thats the case, its a perk of being pregnant! lol

    Hope you sort things out soon and if you are seriously worried about your employment rights then a good website to look on is ACAS or contact your local citizens advice bureau. My sister was unfairly dismissed a couple of years ago just for being off work sick for 2 days and with the help from my old work and ACAS she sued her ex-boss and won thousands in compensation. (Bit extreme I know but things like that happen everyday in the workplace so stand up for yourself)!

    :)
     
  3. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    I can recommend ACAS they really helped someone I know when they were unfairly dismissed and they got compensation.
     
  4. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    The stupid thing is that they have no idea that i am actually preggers yet! the problem they have with me is the woman before me got on so well with them and was gutted wen she left but i am fed up of them taking it out on me i didnt ask for this stupid job it is just really getting me down at the min and thats not good i am going on holiday in a few weeks so i think i a seriously going to consider my options wen i get back thank you ever so much for your help it was much needed and has been taken on board

    Thanx

    Liann and Sweetpea

    :D
     
  5. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    No worries, glad you feel better.

    Have a great holiday and try not to think about work too much. Its just one job out of thousands and the people have no right to make you feel down in the dumps. Just think that if you leave there you will never have to see them again so don't take any of their actions or words to heart. Maybe you would be better off working with people more your age group. I once worked with a bunch of nattering older ladies and they drove me nuts lol

    Speak soon

    :) lou
     
  6. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    I would love to leave and work some where else but it is so complicated my mums friend is my boss and she took a chance on me by giving me this promotion, if i leave she will have egg on her face and probably wont speak to me or my mum like she used to, its so hard i just cant wait to see the smug looks wiped off there hangin wrinkly old faces when i tell them i am preggers!!! i will get the third degree of all of them "oh your so young" i will end up telling them all to bog off i think lol :lol: thanks again for your help i really appreciated it, so i no i aint just being sensertive the really are :twisted:

    Thanx

    Liann and Sweetpea

    :D
     
  7. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    If you tell them you are pregnant ASAP then hopefully they should back off as they wont want to appear to be discriminating against you. You are covered by a whole host of laws once your employer is informed of your pregnancy.

    When are you planning on letting them know?
     
  8. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    Well just before my 12 weeks as i am havinmg my scan at 11 weeks, so as soon as i have had that done and can see everything is ok i will tell my boss. i cant tell her before really as i miscaride before n i no i shouldnt think about it but i remember how much it hurt before wen i had to tell people. do you think this is stupid?
     
  9. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Not at all :)

    How would you feel about telling your boss but asking her to respect your privacy and not tell other members of staff until you have your scan?
     

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