Having a nightmare..

[nori]

Hi All,

Only just managed to get on here as everything has been manic! Ive had a gorgeous little baby boy (Ollie) by emergency C section. Its been difficult to say the least. Ollie was constantly on the breast (and i mean pretty much constantly) and if he wasnt he would be screaming and screaming. Hes great at latching but the problem i had was because of the c section i couldnt move around if he unlatched to get him on right again. I did get lots of support at the hospital with latching but realised by the time i got home the damage to my poor nips had been done. In a desperate attempt to give them a break i got a dummy which helped a bit.

When i got home Ollie started throwing up blood after every feed as my blood was irritating his tummy. The midwife has been round twice and has been very good and we have tried lots to sort out the problem. I tried nipple shields but its still just blood (she did say they were the worse case of bleeding nipples shes seen in a while). I stupidly tried expressing with a pump (not on her advice) and that made everything worse.

I so wanted this to work but its become a nightmare. I have resorted to SMA formula and he seems ok but occasinally carrys on wanting more and more even after his feed.

I feel like a totally crap mum at the moment.. Cant give my baby what he needs!

Claire x

 

[daftscotslass]

I can't advise you on the bf hun but wanted to give you lots of these and say congratulations and welcome to little Ollie

 

[Squiglet]

Aww Nori.... I'm so sorry it hasn't gone to plan. I don't know what to suggest really. You can continue to try and give Ollie some formula milk although I don't know if your milk supply has gone yet although you can re lactate.

The question is what do you really want to do?. Babies constantly feeding is the norm in the first few months. Its less likely in formula fed babies, but its not always as in your case.

Perseverance is always the case in terms of bfing... eventually your nipples will harden and they will stop bleeding, but in that time your LO is sick because of the blood. It won't do him any harm, as long as he is getting some milk but from what you are saying he was just getting blood...

The only thing you can do is mix feed... And eventually try and wean him off the formula as your nipples harden. What exactly is your current regime in terms of feeding?

 

[purple13]

huge congrats to and ollie hon!!

sorry you're having such a crappy time. you are not a bad mum!!!!! first and foremost, give yourself a break sweetie - ollie's entry into the world wasn't ideal for either of you and that's noone's fault, just something that happens. it's made bf-ing very difficult for you and i'm not surprised you've resorted to formula in the circumstances.

have a good think about what you want to do hon. its not impossible for you to breast feed in the long term (once your poor nips have healed) but if you decide that you want to stick to formula now, then make sure you do it happily. connor's first feeds were formula. i didn't have the sore nips problem, but connor was completely incapable of latching on properly - but in time (and with nipple shields) we moved to exclusive breast feeding.

if you want to stick with formula, i'll shut up

but if you want to keep trying to bf, i can offer the following advice:
* when you're less sore from your c-section and your nipples have recovered, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to give bf-ing another shot
* have lots of skin to skin contact with ollie (even if you're not feeding), rest, and eat & drink LOTS
* find a breastfeeding support group - go even if you haven't resumed bf-ing; the people there will be able to give you lots of encouragement and advice. i go to my local NHS bf cafe and also to the monthly La Leche League meeting near me.
* slather your nips in lansinoh and crank the heating up in your flat - stay topless! (my OH thought it was hilarious to get home from work and find me watching telly with my baps out )

and most importantly, keep posting here so we can help you out whatever you decide. hope you got my text yesterday - i'm on the other end of the phone if you need me

 

[valentine]

Oh nori breastbuddy lovely - I am so sorry I haven't been able to help you to succeed so far - I sent purple13 and zebrastripes a long detailed PM yesterday detailing your postnatal feeding history to date to see if there was anything more they could suggest, due to their specific feeding histories and experiences - I think they've both been in touch with you, so please use them. However, I am not bowing out, I just think three heads (and more!) are better than none!

For what its worth, I think your determination so far has been astounding and you really have been through the mill, and from what I can tell from all our texts, really kept your spirits up. Please don't feel like a cr*p mum, I know how much you wanted to do this and what you've been through over the past week, you really have done your absolute best to continue feeding, given the pain you've been in from your section and your nipples and your milk a bit delayed in coming in, many others would have given up before now.

I think it may be best to look at bedding in, skin to skin and relactation - clicky once you have had a day or so to recover. Can you do a little hand expressing today (make a C shape round your areola with your thumb and forefinger and express into a sterilised bowl or similar) to try and stimulate your supply a little? Make sure Matt is looking after you by cooking you lots of nutritious meals and getting you lots of cups of tea and drinks of water.

Thinking of you petal - do you want me to give you a ring later to chat through everything? I'd be more than happy to.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Magic Monkey]

I can't help with the breastfeeding side but wanted to give you

If he is still hungry after a bottle of formula, I would up the amount in the bottle. The guidance on the tin is just that and in my experience it isn't very accurate for most babies, so try adding another couple of ounces to the bottle and just let him take what he wants.

Good Luck and I hope that breastfeeding works for you

 

[purple13]

gah, i just typed a great big long message and it got deleted. my brain really isn't functioning that well today either, and i doubt my second attempt at writing this will be any more lucid...

i don't think my texts are very helpful today so i'll waffle away on here as well...! what i wanted to say was something along the lines of:

if you still want to breastfeed, then give it another shot. i would worry that you might regret it otherwise

going from bottle back to boob doesn't mean messing your baby around - some will find the transition harder than others, but you can go a little way to helping it by making sure that the teat on the bottle is a very slow one. babies used to bottles tend to fuss more on the boob cos its harder to get milk out of. and although some babies find it near impossible to make the transition due to nipple confusion, others (like connor with nipple shields) really won't care a jot! but you won't know how ollie would be without trying?

if you want to stick to bottles and express, then that's more than ok its a fine way to get booby milk into your baby but it does mean a lot of hard work... maybe kalia could offer a few wise words? if you go down this route, it would probably be worth investing in a seriously good double pump?

if you're feeling unsure about what you want to do, then i'd definitely give it a day or so and see how you feel? its hard to make decisions when you're feeling so tired and sore and if you've made your decision already, feel free to tell me to shut up and stop my sorry attempt at helping

 

[Bubalu]

As someone who has had to give formula, I really do sympathise with you. I have low milk issues and so my LO wasn't gaining weight and was dehydrated. I cried a lot every time I gave formula. BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel. I used Breastflow bottles which make the baby suck like on a nipple. Eleanor is able to take milk from the bottle and the breast with no confusion issues. Though she does get a bit fussy with a slow flow. Anyhow, I'd recommend that you give your nipples a break to heal and feed formula for a least a few feeds and then when they are healed wean back off the formula. It can be done with effort , especially if you don't have low milk issues too. I have reduced from 16oz formula a day to 6oz...and we're still reducing.

 

[nori]

Thank you all for your lovely replies. I was really worried about coming back on here as felt like such a bloody failure! I just know if it hadnt been for the C section i could have succeeded with this. Im waiting for my nips to recover but have in the meantime decided to stick with formula. I have upped the amount i was giving Ollie as he seems to be a hungry little baby. I wasnt sure if i could just up the amount as i was worried about over feed him or feeding him too often. I'm now giving him about 3.5-4ml every 3-4 hours and he weighs 7lb 5oz. does that sound ok?

This experience has been the most overwhelming thing i have ever been through. I didnt realise how little i actually knew about babies and how emotional i would be after the birth. Ollie had a bad night crying last night and it was really upsetting as i didnt know why (turns out after he had more food he was fine). I just felt like i couldnt do anything right and that everyone else copes just fine so why cant i?? Everything i'd planned (ie water birth, breastfeeding etc) was being taken away and one thing i didnt realise is how painful an emergency c sectiion is afterwards.

One thing i would say is that the short experience of breastfeeding i had when he was lying on me in hospital and then fell asleep after a feed was gorgeous and i would so recommend the whole breastfeeding aspect for those who arent sure about whether to give it a go or not.

Im sure i will be back on here asking loads more questions as every days is giving me a whole new challenge at the moment!

Claire x

 

[Fly]

Claire hun you are not crap at all you are doing amazingly under the circumstances sweetheart big massive huggles to you lady xxxxxx

 

[valentine]

Claire, I've said it all in texts - but I think you're doing brilliantly lovely - let me know if you need me and enjoy your beautiful new baby.

Valentine Xxx

 

[purple13]

i agree with valentine congrats again honey, enjoy your little boy

 

[Squiglet]

I just felt like i couldnt do anything right and that everyone else copes just fine so why cant i??

never think that... Every mother experiences days where they wish there was a money back guarantee on having kids... Its a huge learning curve hun... and you'll do just fine.

 

[Magic Monkey]

. I'm now giving him about 3.5-4ml every 3-4 hours and he weighs 7lb 5oz. does that sound ok?

I am assuming you mean 3.5-4oz? Give him whatever he needs, my LO has always taken more than recommended. I was advised that you should aim to have an ounce left in the bottle when LO has finished just in case they are having a hungry feed! So, just keep upping the amount in the bottle until you have that, would be my advice.

.I just felt like i couldnt do anything right and that everyone else copes just fine so why cant i??

I would imagine that your hormones are partly to blame for that and I remember feeling exactly the same about breastfeeding, as did many other people on her, so not everyone else copes just fine!!! (In fact I still don't cope a lot of the time!)

I am glad that you are feeling a bit better about things now

 

[lindseylou]

Hi Hun

I had a really hard time trying to breast feed Jess at first. Went to antenatal class and breast feeding class while I was pregnant so felt I was armed with all the info but it hurt like hell and didnt seem right especially when my milk came in. Turns out she is a little bit tongue tied and can't latch on as much as she should but nearly six weeks on we are still at it, still a little uncomfortable espcially whe she is being a greedy guts. I would highly recommend the lanolin nipple cream (in a purple tube) if you go back to breast feeding, I found it a god send, I didn't bleed but may have got to that stage without it.

Just remember that your hormones are up the wall at the moment so everything makes you feel like doing it wrong, I'm having the same trouble with bedtime routine.

Big hugs hope you feel better soon.

 

[nori]

Thanks again for your replies. I'm still having great problems with letting this breastfeeding thing go. My nips are healing and i want to try him back on the breast. I realise that it maybe a bit late to exclusively breastfeed and to be honest im not too fussed about that, but i really do want to get some of my milk into him. Ive tried so hard not to feel guilty about stopping but i cant.. when i see his little mouth rooting for my boob it breaks my heart.

Claire x

 

[valentine]

Its definitely not too late Claire, I would give it a go again if that's how you feel, you won't regret trying again, but you may later regret not trying.

Don't worry about the exclusive/non exclusive thing at the moment, just go feed to feed, see how you feel, what your supply is like and how your nipples are coping - then take things from there.

Lanisoh nipple cream is absolutely amazing and I would DEFINITELY recommend you get to a b/feeding cafe/group asap as they will support you no end.

Take care breast buddy and good luck, whatever you choose to do.

Valentine Xxx

 

[nori]

Well ive just tried him. He did latch but then threw up some of his previous dinner! He then had a bit of a suck and fell asleep. I will offer him the breast when he wants food and then maybe give him a bottle? I cant drive for 6 weeks cos of the section so cant get to any of the cafes for a bit.

 

[keli]

Yep i'd always offer boob first letting him suck for as long as you can as its telling your body to make more milk then offer top up good luck

 

[nori]

Well the next feed came and i offered him boob for a bit. He sucked for a while and then started getting a little wingey. I gave him a bottle and he only took 3oz not the usual 4oz and fell asleep after without moaning like he usually does. It may just be a lucky try but will see what happens next.

I feel much better having tried and even if it doesnt work out now i can say i gave it my best shot.. all my scabs have cleared up and they look a bit more like nipples again. It was lovely earlier just letting him have a suck then fall asleep on my boob.. just feels like the most natural thing in the world. I think i want to breastfeed as much for me as i do for him.

I never realised just how emotional this whole experience would be!

Claire x

p.s thank you so much to valentine and the other girls for getting me through when i was in hospital. The Breast buddy system definaetly helped me!