Having a friend at the birth?

Discussion in 'Ask a Mum!' started by Urchin, Jan 20, 2008.

?

Did you/would you have a mate at the birth?

  1. Yes

  2. No

  3. Not sure

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  1. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    Hiya

    I'm trying to decide if I should ask my best friend to come to the birth this time.
    I wouldn't normally consider it but months ago she invited me to her next birth (she's not pregnant yet) so I am considering asking her to mine.

    I think it would be an amazing experience to be able to give someone, but I don't know if I'm confident enough to be able to do it.
    With Brody I screamed the place down, had a tear and ended up going into theatre.
    I dunno if I'd be too embarrassed doing all that infront of someone else. BUT she is my best friend, I've known her for years and I think it would be so nice for her if I could only get the guts to invite her.

    Did anyone here have a mate at the birth, or would you consider it?
     
  2. Nic'n'Keeley

    Nic'n'Keeley Well-Known Member

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    I voted yes... but i would only invite my closest friend/s.
     
  3. SarahH

    SarahH Well-Known Member

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    I would personally hate having anyone with me.... when Brian wasnt sure if he would come in or not to the labour (he is majorly squeemish) I said I didnt want anyone with me, I had so many offers but no, either Brian with me or just me with the midwifes.
     
  4. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    yes i wouldnt mind having close friends or family there. my mum was gonna be with me when i had melissa but my boyf admitted a few weeks b4 the birth he didnt wanna share such an intimate experience of his first child being born with anyone else which was totally understandable, i had to consider him so in the end it was just him.
     
  5. nathanmum

    nathanmum Well-Known Member

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    i would have loved my best mate there but i think its such a special thing between me and OH maybe not appropriate for the 1st but for subsequent births why not? this time its not an option as im probably gonna be having a c section so...i will be sharing the experience with god knows how many people :roll:
     
  6. Kimbo

    Kimbo Well-Known Member

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    i would.
    it's something amazing to share with your best friend and it's something that you'll never forget.
    i think she would be really touched if you asked her.
    i know that if my best friend asked me i could probably cry because it's something that she's asked me to be a part of that's so special.
    i'd deffinately ask her.
    go for it :D :D :D
     
  7. Tangerinedream

    Tangerinedream Well-Known Member

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    I would. My oh said he doesnt want any more kids because... get this... he doesnt want to see me go through that again :shock: :rotfl: errrmmm... I'll go through what I want to go through thanks :lol:

    Soooo.. if I do have another and OH really refuses I will ask one of my friends :D
     
  8. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    I would. My best friend came to the hospital to see me when I was in labour with Seren, and the let her into the delivary room for a bit to have a chat and she got to see me get catherterised (she regretted that hahaha). This time, if I get my homebirth I am having my OH, my sister, Seren and the MILpresent if possible so no more room for anyone else but I think its an amazing experience for anyone.
     
  9. lisa&alex

    lisa&alex Well-Known Member

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    i have been that mate.. it was an amazing experience.. i was very very close to that friend at a time in her life when she had noone.. me and her sister were her birthing partners.. and i helped her out a lot after the birth to..

    i think its a very individual choice..
     
  10. leckershell

    leckershell Well-Known Member

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    I didn't, and thank god cos I was starkers at mine floating around in a pool... :| But then there's no-one really that I have known for years and years that I am particularly close to anyway. I wouldn't have my family there... wouldn't want them seeing me like that cos we're not really that close.

    If she's invited you to hers though, I bet she'd love to go to yours. And she'd probably be a fab birthing partner.

    My boss's boss at work (lovely lady) had a colleague at her second birth (who also works in my office now, they've known each other years, started in the same police officer intake) and she swears by how good a birthing partner she was as she could help to make her laugh through it, and help in a girl sort of way that an OH can't..
     
  11. kellie80

    kellie80 Well-Known Member

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    I would! OH never liked the idea of any one else being there but I wouldn't mind. I love to see someone else giving birth myself but don't think I will ever get the chance.
     
  12. Princess_Puddles

    Princess_Puddles Well-Known Member

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    I would do, maybe not the 1st or 2nd birth but any after that, I don't see why not, as long as it was very close friend i'd known for a long time!

    You have both your girls, alot of daughters have their Mums at their births! I did
     
  13. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I think I might ask her :)

    She is also very good friends with OH, and I think it might help him to have some of the pressure off with someone else around to help me.

    Hmmm Maybe I will ask him if it's OK :)

    I would have to say to her not to tell anyone about it after though, apart from the basics. LOL
     
  14. sunnyday

    sunnyday Well-Known Member

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    No I definately wouldn't ask a friend. OH wouldn't want it and I would just feel its too much of an intimate moment to be sharing it with anyone else. Just my personal opinion... am sure its great for some people but its not for me.
     
  15. kalia

    kalia Well-Known Member

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    I wanted to ask a friend but my mum gave me into trouble and told me I had to have OH there :roll: It's not that I don't want OH to be there at the birth of our child but he is so sympathetic towards people and I just couldn't cope with him staring at me with sad puppy dog eyes!! It will make him a fantastic dad but possibly a rubbish birthing partner. We've had one or two panics and he's been very supportive then so I have changed my mind and said he can be there. I just hope I don't change my mind on the day :rotfl:

    So I think you should ask your friend :D
     
  16. Tadpole

    Tadpole Well-Known Member

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    I think I can only have 2 people with me when I give birth in the hospital - which will be OH & my mum, but if something happens sooner and my mum can't get back from Turkey in time, (where she lives), I would DEFINITELY have my best friend. I have known her for 27 years and know she would be fantastic, for both me & OH. In fact, I am still hoping to wangle it so I can have all 3 there. Even if just for a bit of time.
     
  17. chezzabell

    chezzabell Well-Known Member

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    I was my friend's birthing partner back in Nov, and oh my god it was amazing, it felt abit funny cos i thought i was in the way, i mean i thought that her boyfriend should of been where i was....tunred out he was a shit partner to her...anyway being able to help someone the way i help my best friend of 20 yrs was truly the most amazing thing. Her little boy means so much to me, and im sure cos of the fact i was at his birth it makes me feel even more for him ( if u understand). i could go on and on about how i felt etc, i did ask my friend was she glad i was there and i know she was so glad i was there to help her and be part of her very speical day

    god im crying now :rotfl:
     
  18. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    Awww that's lovely, thanks for sharing :)
     
  19. chezzabell

    chezzabell Well-Known Member

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    aww hey no probs i could talk about it all day......i seen things that day i never thought i would see from my best frind lol.....so if u ask someone make sure u dont mind her/him seeing ur mary lol
     
  20. Tegala-7thMarch08

    Tegala-7thMarch08 Well-Known Member

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    ias origanaly having tamerons dad there but theers been problems so ive asked my best mate :)

    shes seen me butt naked anyways lol so i dont mind about that and she wud make me laff :D
     

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