Have you told your friends you're ttc?

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by sunnyland27, May 22, 2013.

  1. sunnyland27

    sunnyland27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2013
    Messages:
    347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi all,

    My friend has been waiting to try and in our little group of girls we talk about babies quite a bit! The other day she text me to say her husband "got there" in her lol and we then discussed her trying properly soon, specifically because she has a genetic risk of having 3 kidneys which can affect pregnancy.

    But, apparently her husband was very upset that she was talking to her friends about ttc (he didn't see the rude text tho!). He thinks it should be a totally private matter. What do u guys think?
     
    #1 sunnyland27, May 22, 2013
    Last edited: May 22, 2013
  2. coz78

    coz78 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    My oh knows I talk to my friends about it, his sister being the main one because she's ttc as well. We swap tips and keep each other up to date with where we are in our cycles. My husband however goes into full depth info about our sex life with her and shares things I wouldn't but it's done out of a need to know we're doing everything we should be and it's all as it should be. He sees it as seeking a second opinion.
     
  3. jojo3972

    jojo3972 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2011
    Messages:
    10,980
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't talk tony friends about ttc well not my real friends I see every day cos they think I'm mad cos if my age n fact I already have 6 but 5 of those are over 13 and 3 are over 18 so sometimes I feel like I'm only mother to my 7 yr old and feeling slightly redundant lol anyways I chat to a lot of online friends about it which suits me fine they don't judge me well I hope they don't lol xx
     
  4. sunnyland27

    sunnyland27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2013
    Messages:
    347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Aw jojo, your friends should be supportive still, because it's a biological need for some women to care for babies and I can imagine its just as important as conceiving your first. thank god you have us to talk to!

    Coz- ha not something you want to share with your OH's sis :p great that you can talk about the rest of it with someone going through the same.

    My OH doesn't understand why I'm concerned about fertility (head in sand) and my friends have started rolling their eyes whenever I say "I could be pregnant this month". One (who got preg in the 1st month trying) said "god you say you could be pregnant almost every month" Well, we have sex every couple of days so there is technically a good chance every month! That's why I was shocked when my friend said her hub said she couldn't talk to me about it at all. I think she'll struggle if it takes more than 3 mths x
     
  5. Dee28

    Dee28 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2013
    Messages:
    4,448
    Likes Received:
    0
    My close circle of friends of know as we all had our first babies within months of each other and most have already had their second and they know my desire for another and how tough it was when my DH initially said he didn't want another. And now most of my work team know as they kept asking me if I was pregnant or if i wanted another and what not so its kind of ended up out there...i do wish that not as many people did know as now its taking so long i find it stressful people keep asking me about it, but it is what it is xx
     
  6. coz78

    coz78 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't know how I'm going to look sil in the face after last conversation they had, he was a using the term "squirting"! Told him to google it and all I got was 'that is not what i meant!' But she doesn't know that (lol with embarrassment).
     
  7. sunnyland27

    sunnyland27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2013
    Messages:
    347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh my god hahahaha. I can imagine what google results he got! I do sometimes worry what people would think if they looked through my google searches since researching this. Things like "hairy men fertility" lol
     
  8. sunnyland27

    sunnyland27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2013
    Messages:
    347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dee- the friend who conceived 1st month is finding it hard because her OH says no to any more kids. He thinks their 1 yr old is hard to deal with but she finds it so easy and he is a very easy baby! She's gutted x
     
  9. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Only me and oh know about ttc!
     
  10. LauraFrog

    LauraFrog Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2013
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I haven't told any of my friends directly but they've all basically assumed that we are - to be fair my husband is the broodiest man in the world, and was even before I met him, so it was pretty obvious to everyone who knows him that he'd want to start straight after our wedding. Most of them don't ask us about it directly though, apart from my best friend.
     
  11. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2012
    Messages:
    12,686
    Likes Received:
    4
    My best friend and my mum know and obv OH lol. Other people assume we are as they know we had a miscarriages but I dont talk to them about it. Everyone needs an outlet. I of course chat to all the lovely ladies on here too :) x
     
  12. Londongirl

    Londongirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2013
    Messages:
    1,784
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have told 4 or 5 close friends - I only told one friend at the very beginning but since it's all ended up taking so long and I've had to have tests done etc, it's helped having friends to talk to as I have found it all pretty tough. However, I don't want to talk to them about it too much, especially one who is 33 and single as I know she really wants to meet someone and have kids and I don't like reminding her that it isn't always easy.

    I haven't told anyone at work. The girl who sits next to me is about 5 months pregnant. I found it so hard when she first announced that, as they weren't even really trying properly and she keeps saying things like I wish we'd got a puppy instead! She's lovely and I get on with her really well, it's just hard not to think "why can't it happen to me?" sometimes!
     
  13. Pumpkin9

    Pumpkin9 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2013
    Messages:
    3,792
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've spoken to one of my close friends but just that I'd stopped taking the pill, ditto for my mum and sister and mum-in-law. Haven't really gone into any detail though as its very early days for us and I'm hoping that it won't take too long. I think if we were trying for awhile I would probably talk about it more but
    Don't want to jinx it yet lol. In my head I have a nice romantic idea about telling everyone so think that's what's holding me back
     
  14. T84

    T84 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
    Messages:
    5,576
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've told my best friends which is hard cos they all conceived either by accident or within a couple do cycles of trying so I feel like they don't understand as much. It helps to talk to people about it tho x x
     
  15. Natalie_reid

    Natalie_reid Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Messages:
    898
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've only told 2 close friends as they are the most understanding and I know it wouldnt go any further. I think it's healthy to do so as it's a long process and sometimes talking to someone out with your partner can give u peace of mind and an extra bit of support. Maybe your partner is a little embarrassed to know your speaking to others about it but given time I'd think he would get used to it aslong as you are open with him about it :)
     
  16. Bunny432

    Bunny432 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2012
    Messages:
    2,699
    Likes Received:
    9
    My 3 best friends know about ttc but we don't talk about it. Mainly because they don't pressure me with questions but also because they admit they don't understand how I feel and when I'm stress about my cycles xxxx
     
  17. sunnyland27

    sunnyland27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2013
    Messages:
    347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks. it's not my partner it's my friend's husband who got annoyed that she talked to us (we are a really close group of 5 girls since school). My OH knows I speak to my best friends. He knows we share EVERYTHING haha, but I wouldn't tell anyone else about ttc. Haven't told any of my family.

    I supposed I just assumed she'd tell me everything and she's always been very reliant on us girls. She lived away for a sandwich year for Uni but rang us and her dad constantly for advice or help then moved back to her parents asap lol. She got married but lived with her parents til the wedding night!

    I know she has her husband to talk to about ttc but I couldn't imagine not being able to vent to my friends. OH tries and is so supportive but I can tell he wants to cringe at the word "period" and he thinks I'm silly for worrying about infertility at our age (were 27 & 28), even though we've been technically trying for over 3 1/2 years. He just says "it'll happen don't worry, we've got years before there's any urgency". He's right of course but only my friends understand how devastating not having kids would be, especially after OH said he doesn't think he could adopt and the emotions of a traumatic possible chemical/early miscarriage.

    Anyway, she texted me today to say her period is due and hasnt arrived and she's going to test tonight! I hope it's positive for her, but I think itd make me need that bfp even more!
     
    #17 sunnyland27, May 23, 2013
    Last edited: May 23, 2013

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice