Has anyone elses OH suprised them?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by LouiseH, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. LouiseH

    LouiseH Well-Known Member

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    Has anyone elses OH suprised them with how amazing they have been throughout the pregnancy/labour/birth and raising your child? Or has anyone had the complete opposite and felt let down buy there OH?
    Thought it would be nice to start a little thread where everyone could share their stories & experiences!

    I felt both let down & surprised by my OH in the end. So here's my little story/experience. And I hope to be able to read some of yours too soon..


    Throughout my pregnancy, at first he was dead excited and supportive. And then for god knows what reason he changed. He always said that once I got to 31/32 weeks he would stop going out. But no.. That wasn't the case at all. Actually the closer I got to my due date the more he would go out. Not even just for a few hours.. I mean all night! 5/6pm till 10/11am the next day! It got so bad as to one night when he'd promised he would stay home, he ended up going out at about 10pm, promised he'd be back for 2am at the latest. Throughout the night I started getting really bad cramps & spasms in my stomach, and tightenings. I rang and told him.. He wasn't fussed! Didn't come home at 2am.. By the morning the pains were getting bad so rang the hosp and they told me to go in. Rang & told him.. Again not fussed cause he was too pissed to care! So I went to the hosp by 11am..
    As you can imagine I was not happy, and felt soooo let down! And angry, I didn't know what to do. And just cried the entire time. I ended up getting told if the pains hadn't sorted themselves out by the next morning I'd most likely get a csection. So I was kept in over night. Didn't bother ringing OH to let him know. Didn't wana speak to him. I was almost 33 weeks at this point. And thankfully didn't need a section.

    Despite all this, when I actually was in labour it was a completely different story!

    On the Monday I went to the hosp cause the pain I was in with my SPD was just too much to bare any more. And they asked me to go in, they decided that they wanted to keep me in and give me a diamorphine injection so I could actually get some sleep so I wasn't a complete sleepless zombie when they induced me that sunday. So I agreed. OH was not happy or helpful regarding this.
    But he come to the hosp the next day, to sit with me till I was allowed home. The physio came and asked me to show her that I was able to use the zimmerframe, and as I stood up I saw the look of confusion on my OHs face as he was looking at the bed. When I looked over there was a pool of blood. Turns out my waters had broke.
    Docs weren't happy with the amount of blood that was there so instantly wanted me take me down to delivery and induce me.
    I was panic stricken, as I wasn't expecting blood at all. I was expecting a clearish liquid. So when I was in the loo (supposed to be putting a pad on for them) I rang my Mum, as I was expecting my OH to continue being a complete twat as he had done in the weeks running upto this. So my Mum being 'Super-Mum' left work and made it to the hosp in 10/15mins when really it should of took 30mins.
    But when it came down to it, it turns out I didn't need my Mum after all (Obviously I'm grateful she was there!) So from the 12:30 on the Tuesday 18th June when my waters broke and the 16:22 on the Wednesday 19th June when my princess was born.. When suddenly waters broke, was being induced, pessary, hormone drip, gas & air, epidural trauma (took fucking ages to get it done!!!! Agony lol) and then being told my BP & HR were dropping and my babies HR was dropping to then being told I needed an emergency section.. My OH was amaizng! He was supportive, understanding, helpful and caring. He held my hand, listened to nme, listened to the docs/Mws for me and explained things a little later on when I'd calmed a little. He didn't care that I constantly cried and bitched on. He just kept me calm and looked after me. He even went back to his normal self and sat & wound me up and played daft little games.
    And when I had to go into theatre.. I had to go alone first and there was like 7/8 people in there talking to me / at me. And I couldn't take it in, and I just sat and cried hysterically, not having a clue whart was going on. Then suddenly he appeared beside me, held my hand and stroked my hair. It was instant relief seeing his face and feeling him there.

    Basically my OH went from being a complete twat to being the most perfect person ever! I couldn't of asked for aything better from him. And even just thinking about it bring me to tears with how happy he made me feel that day, even though it was the scariest day of my life. I couldn't thank him more, and its just made me love him more then ever. Cause before that day, the way he was acting made me feel like I'd of been doing it all alone. And I was so scared.

    But now when I think about it, I wonder if he acted the way he did, was because he was scared too!

    Has anyone else had similar experiences? Or completely different expereinces but on the same topic? Please share! xxx
     
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    My OH sided with the bitch MW's when I was in labour (I didn't realise at the time they had pulled him aside and told him baby needed to come out ASAP otherwise I could end up with an emergency c-section)

    They were all telling me to push harder, that my current pushing was too weak, OH was actually swearing at one point 'FFS Nat, you've got to push harder'

    I know now it was tough love but I remember being so upset at the time.

    It was all forgotten once the baby arrived though.

    My OH has been beyond amazing. He doesn't do all the donkey work but seeing how much they love each other always pulls on my heartstrings.... I love to hear OH making plans for when James in older and I adore the way James cocks his little head when he hears Daddy's key in the door.

    OH is so patient and kind with James, he always thinks of new ways to engage him and get him giggling. When bub was a newborn and screaming his little head off Daddy would always be able to comfort him better than I could...

    OH doesn't do all the donkey work as he is at work all day but he can do everything for James. In-fact OH is the only person I have zero qualms about leaving baby with and I've left James several times with OH (the odd girly night out, a few hours during the day etc..). We've only ever left James with someone else once. :shock:

    I think OH may even be a SAHD for a few months when I go back to work and that has eliminated any worries about me leaving bub for 8 hours a day as I know he will be in the safest hands...

    OH still drives me batty and we still have the odd gripe but on the whole having James has improved our relationship - we are the only 2 people in this world who love this baby the way we do and that will always bond us.

    xxxxxxxx
     
    #2 CARNAT22, Jul 4, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2013
  3. babybee

    babybee Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like a big emotional roller coaster for both you and your husband. I'm so glad he turned it around when you most needed him and was so supportive during labour!! How's he been since?

    For me pregnancy came as a massive shock but after the initial hour my husband was excited and never stopped being excited! He used to make me muffins for my morning sickness and from 30 weeks did all the cooking/housework. When she was born and we were in hospital for a week my husband was so stressed and impatient but stayed in with us the whole time.
    Ever since he's been so involved and helpful. He cooks dinner every night and rocks E to sleep if I'm too tired.

    He's been amazing and I actually should let him know that way more than I do. I'm always complaining that he hasn't done something, but he really is a star. He's been such a great husband and father. Of course there are times when I don't feel like this but for the most part he's great!
     
    #3 babybee, Jul 4, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2013
  4. Jmc89

    Jmc89 Well-Known Member

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    My OH was and has been great! He was excited from the words "I'm pregnant" right up until our LO was born! I think I surprised him more during my pregnancy as he was expecting me to be a nightmare pregnant person lol! He couldn't do enough for me during it though!

    Throughout the labour he was a star...although I'm glad I had my mum there as he got quite emotional seeing me in that pain and struggled to know what to do but tried everything in his power to keep me motivated!

    And now our LO is here I can't fault him...the first couple of weeks I had the baby blues and he was amazing...he was and is so hands on he just knew what to do and the right things to say to me! One night I was really bad only 2 weeks after LO was born & he sent me up to my mums overnight to chat with her and have a good cry and he watched our LO! He has been great...he takes over at weekends and does the night feeds and lets me get a good rest! We have a great wee routine going and I'm so thankful I have him!! Cheese!!!! Haha although don't get my wrong there are times I want to through one of our LOs stinking nappies in his face!

    xxxxx
     
  5. LouiseH

    LouiseH Well-Known Member

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    He's been quite good since being home.
    She's vomited on him twice so that's put him off feeding her as he thinks its his fault, and that he's doing something wrong (Obv he's not, it just happens). And same with winding her, he won't incase she's sick. But I don't mind that cause I do the feeds & winding anyway. He works during the day so I'm the main carer (Was made redundant in oct just before finding out I was pregnant!) Which also means I do the night feeds.
    But if I need to do something like a shower or food he'll happily snuggle and play with her. He'll do bottles, etc too. And cause of the csection I can't do much lifting, etc. So he'll carry her up & down the stairs for me, carry her things up and down too. And if I need something from upstairs he'll run up for me. Same with going to the shop, and that.
    So he's been quite good!
    Also he hasn't been out all the time either x
     
  6. clairebear22

    clairebear22 Well-Known Member

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    My OH was so shocked when we were finally pregnant with Jack because we'd been TTC for 10 months and had been starting to talk Doctors etc. he was fantastic during my pregnancy. My labour was long and he was so supportive the whole time and even helped the MW's by fetching food from the shops downstairs when he was updating Grandparents etc.

    Harry's labour was induced (2 weeks late) and short but again he was fantastic!

    He is also a fab Daddy to both boys. Jack's is his little mini me and loves to play ball or wrestle with him and Harry just thinks he's hilarious! lol
    He mucks in with everything to do with the boys except getting them dressed or they'd look like scarecrows gone wrong lol. He was very very nervous when they were newbie's especially with Harry because he was only 6lb 1oz but he still dealt with whatever was thrown at him!! He's a natural! :) x
     
  7. shell1978

    shell1978 Well-Known Member

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    My husband has been beyond amazing.

    We had basicly given up any hope of having a baby after 9yrs of trying and then out of the blue i found out i was pregnant. So from day one he was so loving and tender wouldnt let me lift a finger as this baby was so precious.

    I suffered SPD all through my pregnancy he did all the school runs (hes out of work) to save my legs did all the hw everything. Let me sleep when i wanted brought me anything i fancyed.

    From about 30wks i was having lots of issues so we were up the hospital at least twice a week he was there holding my hand and when i woke up at 3am in angony one morning he was there calming me down and took me straight to the hospital.

    I was taken in to be induced @39wks after 3 pessarys that failed he spent 2 nights in hosp with me sleeping in a chair. He basicaly told the docs after 4 days they needed to get the baby out i was so drained emotionaly and physicaly. I ended up having an emergancy section and thank god for hubby as my boys hb dipped and he had the cord round his neck is hubby hadnt demanded they do something i hate to think wat would happen as they were saying they were going to send me home and try the induction again in 5 days!!

    Since coming home hes been amazing the first week he did all the changing as i was in so much pain due to infections.

    For those 6wks he did everything again and even now he tells me to be carefull and take it easy.

    When i was in tears as no clothes fitted me he took me to asda to get me some new bits.

    I feel truely blessed he has been my rock and i would have been lost if he hadnt been here for me.

    Sorry if thats soppy but he truely is 1 in a million xxx
     
  8. kat1988

    kat1988 Well-Known Member

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    I think I have the opposite oh to you!!!

    when I was pregnant he was fantastic, spent as much time with me as he could (we lived about 6hours apart for most of my pregnancy) he never missed a doctors appointment despite on a few occasions havin to do a 12 hour shift, less than 3 hours sleep, get on a train, come to the appointment, see me for two hours then get a train back and do another 12hour shift. Towards the end of my pregnancy I got quite ill and was in and out of hospital with bp and eventually pre eclampsia, he was at the hospital before I was on one occasion!

    during labour again he was amazing, I couldn't have done it without him, it wasn't that long at about 6 and a half hours but he was there for all of it, I progressed very quickly and he chased up the painkillers for me, the midwife didnt think I was progressed enough to be in that much pain (oh persuaded her to look and I was 9cm!)

    in the first couple of days he was also brilliant, I could tell he was scared of breaking lo by even holding her but he would take her so I could sleep, sorted bottles and sterilising an showin me how to do it all when breast feeding didnt work

    since his paternity leave ended he's gone the other way tho. its not that he doesn't care, he loves ruby to pieces and there are times I can see that. We do have issues tho like he sleeps for most of the time she's awake, if hes not working, (pure laziness!) he doesn't do bottles, 'forgets' to change her nappy, won't put her to bed as she just cries (he's too impatient) and I have to remind him that when she's awake she needs entertaining, talking to, u have to play with her at least most of the time or she'll get bored and cry. when he does do stuff, he mucks it up and I'm not sure if he does it purposefully so I won't bother asking next time or he genuinely doesn't know what to do (despite me repeated telling him!) for example a couple of weeks ago he made up a batch of bottles, without sterilising the bottles and 90mls less milk than there should have been! last week he changed her nappy while I packed a bag( on my request as was in a massive rush) it was pooey...bum wasn't wiped properly and nappy wasn't done up tight enough, I ended up having to do it again!

    he's taken a week off work next week to look after ruby so I can be with my mum as she's very ill, so he'll have to look after her from 10am untill after bed time everyday, I think it'll be a massive shock to the system for him! the whole idea was his and is an example of his loveliness, but I have a horrible feeling it'll b a complete disaster and I'll end up coming home to a grumpy screaming baby every night!
     

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