petchy
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i had these emailed to me and it had me in stitches!!!
12 days of Chavmas...
On the 1st day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, a pikey in Burberry
On the 2nd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, two tracksuit tops
and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 3rd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, three navel studs,
two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 4th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, four stolen phones,
three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 5th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, fiiiveee gooolldd
riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops
and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 6th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, six teens
a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel
studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 7th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, seven scallies
stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen
phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 8th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eight midriffs
showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two
tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 9th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, nine ladies
drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens
a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel
studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 10th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, ten lads
joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven
scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs,
four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and
a pikey in Burberry.
On the 11th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eleven prammers
pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs
showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two
tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 12th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, twelve chavvers>>
chavving, eleven prammers pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies
drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens
a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three
navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry
Chav nativity...
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
Mary's totally gobsmacked.
She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that.
They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee
an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to
kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message
from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You
better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think
I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's
safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water
into Stella.
'APPY CRIMBO
12 days of Chavmas...
On the 1st day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, a pikey in Burberry
On the 2nd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, two tracksuit tops
and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 3rd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, three navel studs,
two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 4th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, four stolen phones,
three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 5th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, fiiiveee gooolldd
riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops
and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 6th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, six teens
a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel
studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 7th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, seven scallies
stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen
phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 8th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eight midriffs
showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two
tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 9th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, nine ladies
drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens
a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel
studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 10th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, ten lads
joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven
scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs,
four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and
a pikey in Burberry.
On the 11th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eleven prammers
pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs
showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two
tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
On the 12th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, twelve chavvers>>
chavving, eleven prammers pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies
drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens
a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three
navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry
Chav nativity...
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
Mary's totally gobsmacked.
She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that.
They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee
an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to
kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message
from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You
better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think
I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's
safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water
into Stella.
'APPY CRIMBO
