Had a crappy day..

[nori]

Well the book i was reading DID say that at 6 weeks the crying gets worse and it has. Ive had such a rubbishy day. Ollie still looks uncomfortable with his straining and he seems to be passing wind alot. I went and saw my friend today and she mentioned reflux which made me concerned that it maybe that (he does throw up after his feed but not like the whole bottle). Im sure he is just a "normal" baby and will grow out of it. If i mention anything to the docs or HV they just say its the norm.

This baby business is such hard work.. i could feel myself getting stressed so had to take him out (which did help) then i feel guilty for feeling stressed as hes only a little baby and if he does have trapped wind then he's gonna be in pain. Ive tried infacol but not colief (thats stuff is damn expensive and i cant see my docs prescribing it as they seemed to think hes just doing what normal babies do!) Someone on here mentioned something beginning with D?

I also think i have a problem with being totally overprotective with Ollie. When my OH has him i tend to feel like i should have him back as i can settle him better. My OH is good with him but gets frustrated when he doesnt calm down. I then take him back to stop him getting stressed, which then gets me more stressed! Ive not been away from Ollie atall since he was born so maybe i should go out for a bit and leave him with my OH. Arghh.. im driving myself insane!

The annoying thing is that when i do have 5 minutes if my OH has Ollie then i still need to sterilise bottles, tidy up a tiny bit cook the dinner and wash up oh and if i can get a bath in thats a bonus!

I really love my son and dont want to wish a few weeks of his life away but i cant wait til hes a few weeks older and his bits and bobs are that little bit more developed so things are working better and hes a happier baby..

Sorry, had to get all that out...

Claire x

 

[beanie]

I think the D thing is dentinox?????? ot sure though

I know I keep saying this but a sling would be invaluable. With him suffering from wind, I would get a wrap as this can hold him upright and keep him all snug whilst you get on and do his bottles etc so that when he does rest you can too as you have done what you need to. A wrap also holds baby really secure and this helps calm them as they are supported and can smell you, hear your heartbeat etc.

 

[keelie_b]

You always reply when im having a hard time and offer support. Unfortunately because your 2 weeks ahead of me, i cant offer any advice but i hope Ollie grows out of it quickly (like tomorrow!!)

I will say though that i totally understand feeling anxious when OH has Ollie. Dylans been collicky as well (between 1 and 5am ) and when my OH holds him he gets really mad and i find it upsetting but i know its normal. He doesnt express him anger and would NEVER lose his temper but i can see it in his face. I also feel that im the only one able to comfort him properly, im with him all day everyday and i've learnt how to hold him to make him feel better and how to rock him and he likes it but OH just kind of jigs him up and down which i know bores Dylan but if i say anything i know hes going to take it personally so then i just keep saying "let me take him"
Its a loose loose situation because OH gets upset and thinks he cant console his son, and i spend all night myself with a screaming baby. I struggle with anxiety and if i leave Dylan with OH for 10 mins to get a shower and hear him crying, i have to get out because i stupidly think im the only one that can help him. i cant help myself.
Its all normal feeling though, and im trying to appreciate every wonderfull moment with Dylan because i know he wont be a baby for long but i also have often found myself thinking "if only he was a few weeks older" and i too feel really guilty. I'd be suprised if any new mum had not thought that as some point. Like you've often said to me when i've needed to hear it, Motherhood is damn hard, but it will get easier and your doing a fab job so keep smiling

 

[nori]

Thanks ladies..

Beanie: Ive orderd a meitei so hopefully that will help. Its wierd though as i can put Ollie in my baby carrier one day and he'll love it then the next day he will be screaming to come out! Oh and it was Dentinox.. will look that up

Keelie:Thank god its not just me.. what you describe is exactly how i feel. When i have a bath and hear him cry i automatically rush to get out and calm him down. Its not doing us any good in the long run and i know i'm going to have to make myself go out for a while and leave him with his dad. I just find it really hard!

Claire x

 

[keelie_b]

you'll have to let me know how u get on, hopefully he'll settle down soon xxx

 

[lea m]

Hun I remember feeling exactly the same when I had my first! I know you may not believe me but it does get easier!
Its such a massive change in your life, it does take time to adjust and it is hard to pass some of the responsibility when they are so young as you feel like you have to do everything but you dont hun!
Your OH will be fine with Ollie and he will just have to learn to manage his stress! And learn to comfort him the way you do! The last thing you need is him stressing and adding to yours!
I hope the dentinox works for you! Lola wont take it! She likes gripe water though so she has that if she ever needs it!
What milk is he on? Have you tried the comfort cow and gate or aptimil? Lola has the C&G comfort now and its really really helped!

 

[BabyMagic]

As everyone says it does get easier! Around three months you can hardly remember those crying days. And when he'll get to four and five months you can't stop wondering how much better it's going to get.

When my LO used to cry I felt that I wasn't able to leave her with anyone because I felt they wouldn't be able to calm her down. And here is where the sling became handy (sorry we all seem to be talking about them )! My OH send me to have a massage and whilst I was being pampered he took LO for a walk in a sling - and there was no single peep from her. Just an idea which may work for you?

Could your OH help you with sterilising etc? What about ordering takeaway?

If you do get really stressed, it won't hurt to leave your LO in another room for five minutes while you go and get a breather xxx

 

[xmcnickyx]

Bless your heart!

I've used dentinox and find it so much more effective than Infacol and you can put it into the milk rather than having to give it separatly. I've also bought Colief and it was the biggest waste of a tenner ever! But you live and learn.

I have definitly found that Molly brings up wind really well when she's in her sling so I agree with everyone else that'll probably help. I've found the best way to get wind up is to hold her under the chin and behind the neck and rock her backward and forward from the waist (with a muslin spread out as far as possible in front of her ) She brings up some awesome burps this way when rubbing her back and patting doesn't work.

I feel for you. Molly was really good up till this week when she's been crying non stop cos she's got a sore throat. I feel so frustrated that I can't help her more than anything. And yeh, my OH is the same! He's not angry with her though, he's angry with himself for not being able to calm her down. Can you leave her with someone other than you or OH for a few hours? Other people aren't usually bothered by crying if they haven't been around the baby all the time like you.

 

[valentine]

Aw nori, I'm sorry to hear you are having a cr*p time. I didn't have a crier, but we've all been there where we feel exhausted, housework is piling up and there seems to be no end in sight.

I would second everyones' suggestions about a sling. A wrap sling is a great idea, I have a kari-me which is brilliant and leaves them to sleep while leaving you hands free to get on with things.

I also wondered if you could ask your OH to do a bit more round the house if he doesn't already. You'll still be recovering from your section and bonding with your baby - maybe he could make the tea/sterilise etc or could someone like your Mum come and help? This wouldn't have worked for me as both my Mum and MIL seem to need looking after when they come to visit and are a bit useless and just hang about so I do understand if this wouldn't work for you.

I also wonder whether you might want to think about changing his milk? I'm no expert, but if the one he's on is not agreeing with him, I know other posters who have changed and found themselves with a different baby. I think you can get 1 portion packs which means you wouldn't have to buy big tubs of all the milks.

I do think you need to make yourself have a bit of time off and I'm sure your OH needs to feel trusted with Ollie and that he can look after him on his own. Maybe book a haircut or go round the shops for a couple of hours?

I would also maybe try Colief again - maybe you could have another go at your doc or buy it once to see if it makes any difference?

Good luck lovely - let us know how you're getting on.

Valentine Xxx

 

[ninjawomble]

Nori hun me and you could be twins (bfing issues, the sections and now this!)

Isla is exactly the same! She cries all the time unless in my arms , infacol appears to settle her a bit...but not at night. She wakes every 3 hours for her feeds, and at night is so hyper, grunting, crying, kicking and punching..

OH has a lower patience threshold then me, and has pissed me off a few times by getting frustrated at her when shes kicking off...it makes me not want to leave them alone for a night if I go to a friends, (not coz he would do anything he a fab daddy and great man btw). And you're right, any spare time I have while bubs is with OH, is cleaning those damn bottles (and why are DR Browns such a pain in the arse to clean?!), and cleaning. Luckily OH likes cooking so I get away with that, but then dont get to eat it coz as soon as I lift the fork Isla starts....
Im knackered and peeved off , at least OH gets to go to work and speak to adults, and sleep through night coz I do all the feeds.

Islas not 6 weeks yet so the idea this is gonna get worse...gahhhhhhhhh!

 

[nori]

Well ive just got back from the hv and ended up bloody crying (i hate crying) so now shes gonna pop round next week to see me.

I said about the straining etc and just got the usual "its normal" back. She did say to try giving him his bottle in one as he screams when i take it out. I also need to increase his milk as hes below the normal line now.

She said dentinox prob wont make a difference but i may try it anyway..

All in all, not much help..

Claire x

 

[ninjawomble]

Well ive just got back from the hv and ended up bloody crying (i hate crying) so now shes gonna pop round next week to see me.

I said about the straining etc and just got the usual "its normal" back. She did say to try giving him his bottle in one as he screams when i take it out. I also need to increase his milk as hes below the normal line now.

She said dentinox prob wont make a difference but i may try it anyway..

All in all, not much help..

Claire x

Oh hun, if I hear "its normal" one more time... sorry it wasnt much help hun, maybe try the comfort milk and dentinox?

 

[nori]

i dont get it.. i was coping so much better a few weeks ago was staying on top of everything and now i have washing everywhere bottles to wash and sterilise and if i get a bite to eat im lucky! my tummy was also bad this morning so im hoping thats not the crohns playing up! at least ollie has settled at last! now i dont wanna move incase he wakes!

I'm definately just sticking with 1 baby!!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

First of all sod the housework - it can wait. xxxxx
Buy a few ready meals - something you can pop in the microwave that doesn't take long. Just so you know you've something to eat if you need it.

What milk are you using?
I tend to try and diagnose everyone with lactose intolerance, lol, because it was that that solved all of my problems.

They do comfort milk which is easier for digestion.

And soya milk for those who are lactose intolerant - but it probably isn't that.

Hope it all settles down for you, it really does get a lot easier and you'll get to the stage where you forget how hard it was xxxxxx

 

[nori]

What milk are you using?
I tend to try and diagnose everyone with lactose intolerance, lol, because it was that that solved all of my problems.

They do comfort milk which is easier for digestion.

And soya milk for those who are lactose intolerant - but it probably isn't that.

Hope it all settles down for you, it really does get a lot easier and you'll get to the stage where you forget how hard it was xxxxxx

Im using aptamil. I changed from sma.. its not comfort but hes having plenty of pooy nappies.. i just need to sort out the damn wind! Hes so much better after a good fart or poo!

 

[tinkerbell*]

awww you poor thing, i remember feeling the same, theo used to get awful trapped wind, and always doing smelly farts (haha) and his tummy used to grumble with the wind inside, is your little one bottle fed?
if so i dont know what formula you are using but we started off using cow and gate, and after reading up we swapped to cow and gate comfort formula. it has beena total god send, since theo has been having it (from about 4weeks old) we havent had any more problems of trapped wind, and we tried all the colic and wind treatments on the market, none of them worked for theo, and something simple like changing his formula helped.

cow and gate comfort is thicker (so if you did choose to try it, you might need bigger teats for the bottles (faster flow ones)).

honestly Theo used to be exactly the same. i know another lady on here who tried cow and gate comfort (after i posted about it once saying what a differnce it has made for us) and she tired it and found the same

dont worry sweetie, it gets alot easier!

 

[babynumbertwo]

Hi, I just wondered if you had thought of going to baby massage classes. It doesn't work for all babies but for some it really helps with trapped wind and colicky pains - and it also gets you out of the house! Your local sure start/children's centre or your HV should be able to tell you where they are running.

 

[nori]

Hi, I just wondered if you had thought of going to baby massage classes. It doesn't work for all babies but for some it really helps with trapped wind and colicky pains - and it also gets you out of the house! Your local sure start/children's centre or your HV should be able to tell you where they are running.

I will look into that one.. im always up for classes!

 

[natalie_staffs]

Hey Claire, i know exactly how you feel. Erin suffers with the same and i have tried all sorts of things to help her. I found changing the milk had no difference whatsoever. Erin has not been a well baby at all since birth, ive took her to the docs so many times, she is now 7 weeks old, has been on 2 sets of antibiotics and given an inhaler as i have been told she is a happy wheezer (baby asthma). Shes contantly crying and wanting to be held. i have the kari me sling and find that helps alot but akward when you have a 2 year old to entertain too. She also wakes up in the night then takes hours to settle. Its very cruel. On top of all that i have been diagnosed with PD. My son was so much easier.

I hope things get better for ya chick xx