Gutted :-(

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by Niknak82, Jan 18, 2012.

  1. Niknak82

    Niknak82 Well-Known Member

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    Ok, so I've just come back from
    Follow up apt with consultant after HSG. Thankfully all is clear with that. During my previous apt in sept I was told Ivf was no option on nhs for me but iui would be... Today I've been told I am exempt from iui on nhs as my husband has a 7 year old from previous marriage. To say I'm gutted is putting it mildly! I know I am probably coming across like I am over reacting but I went in that apt today hopeful we were going to move on to the next stage and get some help :-( I burst in to tears in the room and felt like I was doing the walk of shame when leaving the clinic! The consultant was apologetic about Misleading us but explained there was no way around it, even reducing my bmi still makes me exempt. So many emotions right now as it is not my husbands fault nor is it his little girls but still...I am so angry!!

    The only option now is to go private at £700-£800 a go. It's been recommended that 3 goes are done and that is quite simply £2500 we don't have. I feel like we have hit a brick wall as there are no apts to have now (unless of course we win the lottery!!).

    I am now also cursing myself for being so silly and naive for believing we would have be given iui.

    Sorry for ranting but I'm sooo upset right now as it is now a case of nature taking its course and what will be will be. Pretty shit if you ask me :-(

    Xx
     
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    So, so sorry to hear this.

    You would think the first thing they would have done is check you meet the criteria??

    What a kick in the teeth.

    I guess the best option is to get saving?

    There are plenty of ways to save money and lots you can do the raise money as well.

    Once the shock has worn off I hope you can bounce back with a plan of action?

    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. maybe baby

    maybe baby Well-Known Member

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    So sorry Hun!:wall2:

    IUI doesn't have great success rates so if I was you I'd be looking to save for IVF, if you donate eggs it can be about 2k and the chance of success is much higher. :)

    Have you tried/talked about Clomid, it costs nothing and may be worth a try??

    xx
     
  4. Drummers_wife

    Drummers_wife Well-Known Member

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    Sorry luvie :hugs:

    This sounds like what will happen to me also :( hubby has 2 children from previous marriage and as it's looking I will need iui or ivf as hubby got sub sperm and I'm not ovulating correctly x
    I'm still awaiting my 1st gynae appointment so long way off but think it'll be same result xx

    Fx there'll be a way for you either saving or a miracle natural bfp xx :)
     
  5. Niknak82

    Niknak82 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks guys x

    Consultant says there is nothing wrong with either of us and we know I can conceive as had a miscarriage at 12 weeks 3 years ago. She just said we need a bit of help...She is not suggesting or offering anything else.

    I am the same about iui. Both my sister and sister in law tried it and nothing happened for either of them so I'm not sure if I want to go down that route. I saw the emotional stress and debt my sister got in to. She was trying for her second and went on to conceive naturally 3 years later after the old age saying...'stop trying and it will happen'! my sister in law has gone on to adopt 2 children.

    It will take a good few years to save the money which is just frustrating. I will still remain hopeful though. I have a few stone to get my bmi down as well which will no doubt help so that is my main focus. I've started running again too.

    Again sorry that I'm wallowing and feeling extremely sorry for myself, agghhhh!

    Xx
     
  6. Gizzy Kelly

    Gizzy Kelly Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry to hear this hon. This whole process is so demoralising!

    I agree with what Maybe said about IVF. You said that there is nothing wrong with either of you, (the same as me and hubby) and our specialist recommended that we try mild IVF. We got a quote of £4k. They did say to forget IUI and go right for IVF as the chances of success are higher. We were told by various friends who had IVF to be warned about the cost (some rounds of ICSI at £8k a go) so we are quite surprised when they said £3,800 with some extra costs for drugs. It is a lower costs becuase we need less stimulate injections as they know I ovulate.

    One of my friends got involved with egg sharing as well at Essex and Herts clinic, so she got free rounds of IVF and the first attempt was sucessful Why don't you look into that?

    I know you feel low today, but have a good sleep tonight and wake up with a fresh mind and plan of action tomorrow.

    Love Gizzy xxx
     
  7. Kay Kay

    Kay Kay Well-Known Member

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    hi hun, just wanted to offer support as I feel that is so unfair. no wonder you're upset. as the other ladies have said you'd be better off with IVF if you're going to save up for treatment. and you never know what might happen while you're saving up :oooo: sending you hugs xxxxx
     
  8. itisbabytime

    itisbabytime Well-Known Member

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    from what the ladies say egg donation may be a possibility. if thats not an option for you, how about turning this back on the clinic - they have misled you from the very start - perhaps an official complaint could help??
     
  9. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear this. Thats really frustrating!
     

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