Guilt

furbaby

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Noah can't latch on and we've tried various nipple shields to no avail- he pushes the nipple out with his tongue or takes so long to latch on he is exhausted and just falls asleep at my nipple without a proper feed and I have been expressing (although at the moment can't due to medication) but it takes so long to express a tiny amount that I'd have to spend 5 hours a day expressing to actually provide enough for little man. I also feel guilty for not only being able to breast feed with ease but for feeling relieved as well :(

I had convinced myself and was pretty adamant on the fact I would breastfeed and it would all be fine and work perfectly.

The thing is since being on formulae Noah is obviously feeding better he prefers bottles (whether ebm or ff) and there is way less crying and dram and feeds are more serene and peaceful- so why do I feel so rotten

:(
 
your feeling bad because you have let down the expectations you had for yourself. you shouldnt feel bad at all hun, you made a gorgeous lil boy and as long as hes feeding and growing you should be proud of that achievement. you tried and as long as you at least try then its not a failure its a backup plan
 
its not a failure its a backup plan

what a lovely way to put it bev.

And so true. You tried and it didn't suit you, or him, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I use shields and some days (low ones) I feel like a failure that I can't feed 'properly', but LOs don't read the text books and do what they like.

Xxx
 
Please dont feel bad or guilty hun!! i had to stop bf as my little one wasnt putting on weight and I was pretty cut up about it but now I realise that the bottle is so much better for my little one!! The way I see it is that I know breast is best but they wouldnt make formula if it wasnt a really good alternative!!
xxx
 
its not a failure its a backup plan

what a lovely way to put it bev.

And so true. You tried and it didn't suit you, or him, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I use shields and some days (low ones) I feel like a failure that I can't feed 'properly', but LOs don't read the text books and do what they like.

Xxx

sensible, responsible ppl always have a backup plan. what kind of mum would you be if you didnt provide a plan or at least rough idea of what you would do for lo if your first plan didnt work out lol. i combi feed and it works for me but my backup plan was to ff if necessary and i dont feel bad about it, i felt bad that she wasnt getting enough and that bf'ing wasnt working out the way i wanted it to but not that i was failing, just that i was frustrated cos it wasnt going right.
 
Don't feel guilty at all! Bf is really really hard even when the baby latches well. Your baby has had a great start on your colostrum. As the others have said, formula is a the next best thing. You are doing great!
 
BF is not a natural process for a mother it has to be learnt and if baby is struggling as well then it can't happen, this is NOT a reflection on you.

Do not feel guilty honey :)

I hadn;t even thought of a back up so that really already does make me a crap mother :), off to Tesco's tommorrow for a box of formula just in case.............

xxxxx
 
Just get some ready made cartons bella. Cheaper and easier if u need them at first. That's what I did. Was only gonna buy a tub if I needed it, which luckily so far I haven't x
 
yeah i just had bottles, they will give you formula at hosp if needed, i didnt want the temptation to give in by having the formula at home, oh could of gone and got it if necessary. lol bella i meant the plan in your mind, not necessarily having the formula ready, dont spend the money if you dont need to just get a carton or 2 if you think it might be needed til you see how bf goes :)
 
yeah i just had bottles, they will give you formula at hosp if needed, i didnt want the temptation to give in by having the formula at home, oh could of gone and got it if necessary. lol bella i meant the plan in your mind, not necessarily having the formula ready, dont spend the money if you dont need to just get a carton or 2 if you think it might be needed til you see how bf goes :)

Not all hospitals have it, I had lo in mw led unit and they dont even have emergency supplies x

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