Grrrr not feeling it today......

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by becsybabe, Dec 4, 2016.

  1. becsybabe

    becsybabe Well-Known Member

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    Who says weekends are the best pffffft not me. So I'm currently working 6 days a week running my own business my partner wirks mon-Fri and when it comes to the weekend WOW don't I just know it's his two days off work he does absolutely NOTHING I get a Sunday off work that is it to which MY DAY OFF consists of stripping all the beds washing them drying them then remaking them. A million other loads of washing drying and putting away tidying the house top to bottom sweeping mopping hovering... well u get the general idea. I'm almost 18 weeks now still feel sick 24/7 and throw up of an evening he's just this minute got up off the sofa to get a shower etc when he's sat on the sofa in his dressing gown I'm fuming then he has the cheek to bring his work clothes down n hand them to me to put in the washer arghhgg ranting here sorry for venting xxx
     
  2. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

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    I just wouldn't do it. The words I use are "you have arms/legs...use them". My OH has done everything for me whilst I have been so sick. It would have been impossible for me to do it.
    Have you told him how tired/sick you feel? You know what men can be like sometimes, oblivious! Maybe if you explain, he will help more xx
     
  3. Dovekie

    Dovekie Well-Known Member

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    Meh. What is it with men and cleaning? Have you asked him why you should be doing all of the cleaning on your only day off? You could at least share the responsibility?

    I'm supposed to be moving in with my boyfriend (asap now, since I lost my job). I asked him to clean his house and make space for me. I've been asking him for weeks/months and nothing gets done. Every weekend he makes plans to do stuff, when we have a shit tonne to do at home. The last time I asked him he said I need to be more specific about what I want him to do. So I wrote a list and stated the obvious. Then he says he doesn't like me telling him what to do..... Then he suggests that we both clean his house together. I have my own house to sort and clean before I leave it. I live an hour away from him. I just don't get why he can't make a start with this??
     
  4. Eryinera

    Eryinera Well-Known Member

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    I have the best husband ever. I came home from work expecting to have to tidy the house got my son's party he had completely tidied the front room moved crap from the hallway taken 4 bin bags to the top moved the old mantle piece to the shed wiped down the bannister tidied the junk room upstairs put up the Xmas tree AND vacced the entire house! Literally all I had to do was clean the loo put a new rim block in it and put up and dress the front room for my son's party!
     
  5. becsybabe

    becsybabe Well-Known Member

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    I do it because otherwise it literally just gets left. For example I have three other children from a previous relationship they went to their dads house Friday from school and didn't come back home until yesterday at 6.30pmi hadn't had time on Friday morning to wash the breakfast pots before my first client arrived therefore they didn't get done he finishes work before me on a Friday so I thought he might of seen the side of dishes to wash when he got home and done them... nope so I left them just to see if he would take it upon himself to do them well anyway I ended up doing them this morning along with all Friday nights tea pots all yesterdays he sat on his backside yesterday whilst I had 7 clients to see he did nothing all day yesterday so u see if I leave things he still doesn't do them thinking it won't b long before this pregnant woman flips lol xx
     
  6. becsybabe

    becsybabe Well-Known Member

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    Eryinera where did u find him lol ur so lucky xx
     
  7. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    My husband is incapable of cleaning (I don't think he can see mess?!) but I have trained him to wash his own work clothes and he will do other bits and bobs if asked to enough times. He is hopefully going to mend the oven door tonight, I'm pretty sure he will as there will be no cooking done until it is fixed and he likes to eat!
     
  8. Eryinera

    Eryinera Well-Known Member

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    That's just not on. I'm never home before hubby and gave blind spots to mess but even when I was feeling really bad I tried to do at least one thing when I was alone in the house even if it was just putting junk in the bin or washing the pots. I must admit im more like the typical "husband" and he's like the typical "wife" bit I at least try to help!
     
    #8 Eryinera, Dec 4, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2016
  9. Eryinera

    Eryinera Well-Known Member

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    Lol omg I'm your husband snowbee :rofl: I fixed the oven door 3 nights ago fir the same reason :rofl: and I put my work clothes in the wash this morn... and when nagged I put my work bag and shoes away :rofl:
     
    #9 Eryinera, Dec 4, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2016
  10. nikkix86

    nikkix86 Well-Known Member

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    my oh works more than me so I am at home more but I still expect some help. I cook every night so all I ask him to do is wash up but he let's it pile up or gets in a mood if I nag him to do it I literally do everything else tho so I don't think I'm asking much! lol I'm so tired still at the moment
     
  11. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

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    They should 100% help out. My OH works full time and whilst I have been off work sick he does the shopping, comes home, walks the dog, cooks the dinner and cleans up after. If it was the other way around I would do it all for him too. Its equal, I will not have any stereotypes of what women and men should do. I will do more in the way of cleaning etc as I am home more but I will not do everything, no way! xx
     
  12. Eryinera

    Eryinera Well-Known Member

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    Lol I know I am lol.
    I found him aged 16 on the first day of college.... I've had a long time to shape him lol

    I do work more hours than my husband though he leaves early in the morning but home in time to pick our son up from school every day x
     
    #12 Eryinera, Dec 4, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2016
  13. nikkix86

    nikkix86 Well-Known Member

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    lisey do you just put your foot down or is he just nice enough to do it? lol my oh thinks because I'm at home more I should do everything and he can rest when he gets home from work and weekends lol
     
  14. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

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    I am pretty fierce with things and will not take any rubbish but I have never had to ask him. He just does it. He is super caring in nature and will do absolutely anything for me. Again, I am the same with him though. It's all balance.
    I think it also depends what job the person who is out most does, like if its really physical they will of course be worn out. I still think they should muck in though, esp when their partner is pregnant xx
     
  15. BettyHoop

    BettyHoop Well-Known Member

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    I'm hear you becsybabe! My oh does nothing, and even creates extra stuff for me to do. He has an annoying habit of just leaving rubbish everywhere, as if we don't have a bin!! He just expects me to tidy up after him all day. I was lulled into a false sense of security when we met - he told me he likes a clean tidy home, I thought that meant he could clean and tidy for himself, boy was I wrong!!!! Even when I've felt at deaths door, if I don't do it, it doesn't get done. To be fair he cooked about 5 times when I was really sick, and he insulated the roof, and he works long hours sometimes. He has now cooked a total of about 10 times in a year and a half. I always have to cook and wash up, i really would love a break! I work a lot too but half my work is from home. And the trouble is in every other way he is perfect, so what can I do?! Xx
     
  16. Eryinera

    Eryinera Well-Known Member

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    Lol on the day I had my 10hr shift on black Friday on my feet all day with one 45 min break all day. I was a tad jealous of his 4hr desk job lol. But then I see the effort he puts in at home and I think I've got the easy job!!!
     
    #16 Eryinera, Dec 4, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2016
  17. ClaireDoll

    ClaireDoll Well-Known Member

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    I can't imagine how irritating this is especially being pregnant on top of everything else Bec, I'm currently ttc but my husband is a nightmare in the house. I work 7 days a week running my own business, on top of that I've started nightshifts for 6 weeks up to Xmas, 9 nights in 1 off, I literally get a 2 hour window to sleep and genuinely couldn't tell you what day of the week it is and my husband woke me up this morning to take him to work because there's no trains :l like seriously!!! He thinks his days off are for lounging about doing absolutely nothing, doesn't move off the couch remote in hand all day, and as soon as I'm in the door it's 'what you making for dinner?' Then I'm expected to do everything else you listed too! He did do a washing for the first time ever last week. He picked out his work shirts, his pants and his socks out the washing basket(s) and washed and dried them for himself. Selfish isn't the word sometimes I want to seriously strangle him! I was also lured into the false sense of security Betty, his mum and dad used to use him practically as a slave in their house, he would be up at the crack of dawn at the weekends cleaning the house to his ocd mums standards. I think he just takes the piss with me because he was sick of doing it at his mums and why do anything now when mug here does it for him.
     
  18. BettyHoop

    BettyHoop Well-Known Member

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    OMG clairedoll mine does that with the washing too! The one time he did some washing, it was all his stuff so I only had to do another load after anyway with all my work clothes in too, then he put only his dry clothes away but in the process lost a pair of my work trousers! So I basically told him never again! I'd rather struggle on and do it myself than have a selfish half ass attempt!!! Also on his days off he'll go and make himself a coffee and breakfast and not even offer me anything, as if I'm invisible, I'd never treat him like that! He even says to me now he doesn't know how he would survive without me! Bloody right!!! Xx
     
  19. Eryinera

    Eryinera Well-Known Member

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    Lol that's my dad's technique! "When she asks me do something I'll do it but so badly that she'll never ask me again" my mum grew wise and basically walked him through step by step and made him practice doing it right :rofl:
     
  20. BettyHoop

    BettyHoop Well-Known Member

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    I think men have this technique ingrained, except maybe if they didn't get asked to do so much when they were young by family at a time when they were rebelling. I don't want to have to walk my oh through how to do things, and I do think if I have a higher standard of living than he does then it's my problem! He is also very grateful that I keep a nice house so I can't argue with that, I just could have done with a bit more help in the early stages of pregnancy, even just clearing up after himself would be a start! I'm constantly putting the jam back in the fridge or picking up his dirty pants or putting his rubbish in the bin for him! Grrrrr! Xx
     

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