GOING TO A NEWBORN BABY'S FUNERAL TOMORROW :'(

[kayzee]

Hello Ladies, Its not very often i look in here but when i do i try to offer any advice based on my own experiences of offer comfort where its needed, so finding it very sad and difficult that im asking for advice in here myself

One of the mums of my local baby group was expecting a little boy last saturday but the tuesday before she went to be monitored only to be told he had died inside her at only 4 days before term As you can understand the poor girl is absolutely devastated as are all her friends and family ( i was in hospital with her mum) so we all know each other quite well to speak to. She had to give birth naturally and he was born weighing a healthy 8lb 8oz but he had the cord wrapped round his neck 3 times, which the post mortem showed as his cause of death. My heart goes out to jody and her other half and her little daughter lily. I have sent her texts offering my condolences and have rung a couple of times but shes been sleeping so havnt actually spoken to her yet.

The thing is it is levi's funeral service tomorrow 2.45pm service followed by private family burial (he is being buried with his grandad) and im desperate to go to offer support and to show jody and her family i care, but im feeling a bit awkward about it, 1 because im pregnant and 2 because i never ever dreamt i would ever have to go to a childs funeral especially a babys . Another friend of mine is going and has spoken to her family and they want me to go and to not to feel bad, but its going to be so so upsetting and be one of the hardest things ive ever had to do ( God knows how jody and her family are going to feel) I want to go but its going to be devastating.

Sorry Im on a downer but i just needed any advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation, im not sure what to wear say or anything having never ever been in this situation myself and never ever wanting to be again.

Thanks ladies its very much appreciated

 

[mrs_tommo22]

If you have been invited - go. I think it would probably upset her that you didnt go, she needs the support.

So so sorry for your friend though, my heart goes out to them and the family

 

[Baileysmummy]

 

[LisaJ1986]

Just being there should be enough. I've only been to one funeral of children and it was for four kids! They were 2, 4, 6 and 8. I was 15 weeks pregnant and i have to say it was incredibly emotional!
Being there shows support and they know you are there when they need you most. It is hard though.

 

[Cixes]

What an sad time it must be for your friend and her family. I can understand how you feel though, it a difficult decision to make because you obviously want to go to show your love and support and the family have said they would like you there, but at the same time it might be hard for your friend knowing your having a baby too, and also you might get quite upset which is not good for your little one. If the family don't mind then you should go, just being there means a lot to your friend i am sure.

 

[Tracey S]

I would go especially if your friend has said she wants you there,

She might not show it at the moment but in time she will appreciate that you were there. When I lost my baby last year the funeral was kept to strictly close family, but when we arrived there were people stood outside like the midwife who looked after me etc, they didnt come in but waited until we were inside. I have never forgotten that and the support I felt from them helped me through the dark days.

I know it will be hard for you, but by being there you are showing your support to your friend, I hope the day passes off gently for everyone

Tracey xx

 

[Urchin]

I've been to a baby's funeral it was so incredibly sad
I think you should go, the support of their friends now will be one of the most important things to them. Just going and being there with them will be enough.
My friends found some people would avoid them, and not know what to say, even cross the road and pretend they hadn't seen them there cos they just couldn't deal with it.
Go, show them you are there for them, they will appreciate it.

 

[klee1988]

I personally think you should go hun.
At my babys funeral, my friends were there and although I didn't talk to most of them because of the circumstances, I found it a real comfort that they came. She will most likely be preoccupied with trying to just get through the day, but even if you just greet her with a hug, she will appreciate it loads; well I did.
A friend of mine was about 35 weeks pregnant and I was completely fine with it. We went through our pregnancies together and I found it a great comfort that she came.
I think you should go, I think it would mean a lot to her.

kaylee
xoxo

 

[Tina & Gabs]

 

[NIE]

Oh how sad and upsetting. My thoughts are with your friends family. It must be totally devastating.

I would go as she will need loads of support.

 

[Mik]

I agree with everyone else I think she will appreciate your support and I also think it will be best for you you don't want to feel guilty about this afterwards. It must be incredibly hard and I cannot imagine how you are feeling but you can always come and lean on us before during and after

 

[sarah113]

 

[sarah113]

 

[sarah113]

 

[maria1976]

I would definitely go my lovely, it will be upsetting but im sure your friend would want you to be there.

 

[kayzee]

Thanks for your replies ladies it is very much appreciated

Im definitely going to go i owe it to jody and her family they are such lovely people, its just going to be very hard My friend wendy is coming as she knows her too so we will be able to support each other and both be there for her. I Just feel a Bit guilty because im pregnant and shes just lost a baby, i know it doesnt bother them But i just feel so so sad and sorry for her and her partner.

God bless little baby Levi xx

 

[claire2711]

 

[lfc_sarah]

 

[puppylove]

Thats so sad im so sorry to hear about ur friend dont know what more i can say but wanted to send some hugs

 

[xxsammyxx]

I have only just read this.... how sad, its everyones worst nightmare that this might happen and as a mother i feel for your friend so much. Did you attend the funeral in the end? I hope it went as well as it is possible considering the circumstances if you know what i mean (funerals can never really go WELL, i just didnt know how to phrase it)