giving up feeding

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by Layla, Jan 23, 2006.

  1. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    hiya

    last night i made the decsion to give up breast feeding, my nipples are so sore even tho i am aplying cream.

    Coby seems to be fine in teh day but then late evening will feed off me every 20 mins or so for about 3 hours, i hate it coz i cant see what hes getting, so i dont know if its a confort thing or wether im not producing enough for him.

    he is up til about 4 each monring really unsettled. so i have deicded to put hi back on the bottle, that way i can see what he is getting and rule that out or in when hes upset.

    cant help feeling like i failed tho, i couldnt get on with it with my daughter, only lasted 2 days, and now i am giving up again, but from a selfish point of view, i just dont want anymore pain so id rather stop.

    has anyone else given up breast feeding?
     
  2. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

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    Oh honey, it seems very drastic!!

    Have you had any help? You really should ring a breastfeeding counsellor before chucking in the towel. Most problems are so easy to solve with different positioning etc. It seems such a shame.

    I know you are probably hating me for saying this as you probably feel that you have really had enough but I would really try and seek some help first - I can get you some numbers if you like??

    What cream are you using? Lansinoh is the best!!

    Much love
     
  3. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    don't feel like you have failed hun.. i felt exactly the same way, the pain is indescribable and no-one prepares you for it. plus if coby is feeding so often it must be exhausting you. i tried nipple shields and found they worked for me so was able to carry on but if they hadn't I would have been formula feeding now. I found that I was starting to resent feeding Seren and worried that she would pick up on this, which I think she did as now I am more relaxed she seems to be. You are not being selfish, you are doing what you believe is the best for both your little boy and you. I know it has been said before but I do believe that a happy mum = happy baby. x

    I found that a good thing for sore nipples was to rub some breastmilk into them, it worked for me but Lasinoh cream was also great though reminds me of earwax :D
     
  4. bobtheunfortunateone

    bobtheunfortunateone Well-Known Member

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    I felt exactly the same, I only lasted 3 days. After he was latched on for 6 hours and still wasn't sleeping (He hadn't slept well for all 3 days) I had to give up, I was exhusted! I gave him a bottle he had all 3oz then slept for 4 hours!! Bliss!

    He is now 3 weeks old and has 4oz every 3 hours and is a very happy baby and sleeps for 3 hours at a time!

    As the midwife said to me, if I am getting wound up it effects the baby and, Riley was just sucking for the sake of sucking, just as a comfort more than the milk! he is now a health 11lb, not lost any weight and my hubby can share the night feeds.

    I know how you mean that you feel a failier, I felt the same, cried my eyes out! But ther is too much pressure to breast feed, the most important thing is that you cared enough about your babies need for more food. Like I said baby Riley is as good as gold now! I think you just need to enjoy the baby as much as possible, if that means bottle milk then so be it!

    Good luck hun
    xxx
     
  5. bobtheunfortunateone

    bobtheunfortunateone Well-Known Member

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    I felt exactly the same, I only lasted 3 days. After he was latched on for 6 hours and still wasn't sleeping (He hadn't slept well for all 3 days) I had to give up, I was exhusted! I gave him a bottle he had all 3oz then slept for 4 hours!! Bliss!

    He is now 3 weeks old and has 4oz every 3 hours and is a very happy baby and sleeps for 3 hours at a time!

    As the midwife said to me, if I am getting wound up it effects the baby and, Riley was just sucking for the sake of sucking, just as a comfort more than the milk! he is now a health 11lb, not lost any weight and my hubby can share the night feeds.

    I know how you mean that you feel a failier, I felt the same, cried my eyes out! But ther is too much pressure to breast feed, the most important thing is that you cared enough about your babies need for more food. Like I said baby Riley is as good as gold now! I think you just need to enjoy the baby as much as possible, if that means bottle milk then so be it!

    Good luck hun
    xxx
     
  6. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    hi, my boy up until about a month would feed frantically in the evenings, i would be constantly swapping him from left to right, and i felt like giving up - but i didn't i used nipple shields, and went to a breast feeding support group and they showed me what was wrong. i also let my boobs "air dry" as much as i could and put breast milk on them to help the healing. i began to dread feeding him as it would make my cry with the pain. but then it just all seemed to click in to place. and ewan is now BF at 5 months. i tried giving a bottle of expressed or formula in an evening just to give my boobs a break.
    Don't feel badly though every day that he has breast is a bonus soo at least you have tried - but i would try to go to a BF group you will find that you are NOT alone
     
  7. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Yes I did- I lasted 7 days but my milk never seemed enough and he screamed constantly, I got mastitus and the pain was worse than the pain I had during labour. I just cried all the time and had started to really resent and fear feeding him- it was awful. My experience was made worse (if not caused) by bad advice in the hospital. If I had to do it again I would try nipple shields before stopping, I would also express more and give the milk in a bottle rather than a cup or syringe like they said you had to. Ok it might cause nipple confusion but if you're about to stop anyway it's worth a go I reckon. (I didn't consider this until it was too late and I was in no state to have thought round the problem at the time.)

    I started a thread below called Breastfeeding Nightmare, lots of other women I've spoken to had similar experiences. If you can get some actually good advice and help then go for it but if not or if it's causing you and everyone else upset then do what you feel is right. I don't regret stopping at all, it was the best decision I could make when I got to where I was- next time I'll try not to get to that point but you can but try. Elliott is very happy on formula, he's well and thriving. Don't feel bad, you've got to look at the whole picture really.

    +++
     
  8. babsi

    babsi Well-Known Member

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    I know how it feels.

    Kai was born Monday evening and wouldn't latch on at all, he would just cry and cry, finally I think he took half a teaspoon around Tuesday lunchtime and that was it while at the hospital. Being at the hospital trying to breastfeed was a real nightmare, it just wasn't happening. The nurses would force him for ages while he was crying his eyes out, nothing would work and they in turn would make me feel bad. Late Tuesday afternoon I decided to try formula as he had hardly eaten a thing since arriving. So we gave him formula by the cup as they said if he has a bottle he will never breastfeed which isn't true. Then we realised he wasn't going to breastfeed so we gave him 1oz or so of formula. It was working ok until Wednesday morning around 4, my husband went to get some formula from the nurses's station but instead he came back with this horrible nurse who was forcing it and forcing it and making me feel really, really bad, they tried the tube method which was sort of working, but he still was having formula.

    We went home Wednesday and a nurse came round around lunchtime who was really, really nice and made me feel a lot better about things, saying it was my choice about what to do. We were going to wait and try again Thursday as that is when the milk comes in, we tried and no luck. We had another nurse come round on Friday and tried pumping but of course the pump didn't work lol. I managed to feed him on Friday, I don't think it was too much though, but at least it was something. I was going to try Saturday but I really wasn't feeling well and I think Kai picks up on that.

    Yesterday I managed to feed him twice and we thought he was content but I feel he didn't get much milk which reflected in his mood yesterday, he was really grumpy and we thought he couldn't have been because he was hungry as I seemed to feed him for ages both times. But we tried the formula and his mood picked up a lot, now he is just sleeping and content. So really I think I need to decide what to do, Kai is lazy and just doesn't want to work. The last place I am going is the hospital for the breastfeeding clinic, I think if I go I will feel down again as they were just so pushy and rude there.

    The public nurse is phoning today to see how things are (I think it the equivalent of a health visitor) and I will see what she says. I am also visiting the paedtrician this afternoon and I just hope they don't go on about the breastfeeding again.

    Sorry Layla for taking over your topic, I didn't mean to write so much.
     
  9. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    hi guys, thanks for your replies.

    I have already stopped and got him on to bottles, last night i dreaded feeding him coz i knew it would hurt, if im that uptight about it then surely it would affect my suply anyway.
    I have got that cream, it eases it after a feed but then im in just as much pain the next feeding time, i have also put milk on my nipples, nothing seems to be working. to late to get breast sheilds now, hes already had a bottle feed and i can feel my boobs starting to get full and heavy, dont want to express or anything, id rather leave tehn alone to dry up now and get my body back to normal again.

    he had his first bottle at 12 and took 3oz, he has been fine since.

    my midwife came to weigh him this morning, hes a week old and hasnt lost any weight, so said its coz he was breast feeding and tried to guilt trip me in to carring on, but im sorry, if he is going to be happy on formula and im nt going to be in pain then id rather do that, selfish of me yes, but happy mum, happy baby right?!

    im hoping that i can settle him more at night now, coz at least i will know and be happy with what hes getting so i can rule that out and maybe be more calmer about his crying and instead of just offering him more breast i can think about other possibles it may be.

    xxx
     
  10. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    dont feel bad about it, I stopped breast feeding for exactly the same reason, the pain was unbearable and she seemed to be constantly feeding it was so tiring and one night i decided I was going to bottle feed and that no one would change my mind. I was quite surprised the midwife didnt even ask me why I wanted to stop, she just said ok then replace a feed with a bottle, I was waiting for a lecture aswell.

    Im not completely bottle feeding yet, still breast feeding aswell slowly replacing each feed with a bottle untill Ill be totally bottle feeding. Have you stopped breast feeding all together? becuase you have to be careful you dont get mastitis. I feel much better for it and Ella settles better afer a bottle too and I agree happy mum = happybaby and at the end of the day do whats best for you.
     
  11. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    hi Lauz,

    yes i have stopped all together havent fed him myself at all today.

    have to say tho, i feel really crap, my boobs really hurt, i knew they would tho, but i also feel like i have the flu coming, shivery, aching, shattered. not sure if thats linked in to the milk coming in or not tho.

    any one know?
     
  12. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    That's Mastitis Layla. You need to watch out for that. I've had it twice and it's a killer (really debilatated (sp) me) , make sure you get on the antibiotics. I found they started to work after about 3 days.
     
  13. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    i got anti biotics for a water infection, will they work aswell or do i need extra ones you think?

    cant stop crying tonight, in so much pain and feel really ill
     
  14. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    I was told that if I got mastitis I was to feed from that boob regularly, is there any way you can express to get rid off the blocked duct??? Not sure if this will help or not, hope you feel better soon ((((hugs))))
     
  15. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Not sure, what ones are you on? When I got it first they put me on Augmentin which was also for water infections.

    Take regular paracetamol and ibruprofen (helps with the swelling etc), I also had to drain that breast but as you are not b/f I am not sure whether they will recommend that or not :?
    You have my full sympathy as it's bloody awful!
     
  16. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    Take a hot bath and try and express a little using your hands, my mum warned me about mastitis becuase she had it, it sounds auful hope you feel better soon x
     
  17. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear that hun- it's the pits! I developed it just as I had given up breastfeeding. They put me on antibiotics and told me to massage the bit where the duct was blocked (I had a spot with a blue line running out of it- it was itchy and hot) but didn't say to express so I'd go to your GP and ask them for some pills and advice to be honest. Rest loads if at all possible- at least now you're bottle feeding someone else can take over for a few feeds and give you a proper break so you can sleep. Earplugs are an absolute godsend if you're not using them- as even though I knew my DH and Mum were looking after Elliott when I was resting with mastitus it was difficult not to get up and see what was happening when he cried or I could hear activity. Somehow knowing there's no point in keeping an ear out allows you to sleep heavier as well. Might be worth a go.

    Hope it clears up soon
    +++
     
  18. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    hi guys,

    still feeling crap but its not as bad today, been taking pain killers every couple of hours. my boobs arnt as hard as they were yesterday so im hoping i have got over the worst of it, fingers crossed!

    im so glad that i put Coby on the bottle now, every night since i have breast fed he has been unsettled untill 4 in the morning, its been a nightmare coz i have only been having a couple of hours sleep. but last night, after a full day on bottles, he went off to sleep at 11 and then woke every 4 hours for a feed, it was bliss!
    so i guess he wasnt getting enough from me throughout the day and it was making him hungry and unsettled durning the nights.
    so no midwife can guilt trip me now, i know i did right by my baby.

    today im going to chill out on the sofa and not do a thing about from fed and change Coby of course, Jase went back to work today so i feel a bit lonely but im sure that will pass.
     
  19. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    Layla can I ask what milk your using? Im giving Ella Farleys by heinz and she is very sickly with it, she brings up alot of her bottle so she is hungry again sooner. Did you find that Coby was alot more sick on the formula milk compared to breast milk?
     
  20. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    Rubie is more sick on formula than breast milk too, and she doesn't poo as much, I hope I'm not giving her a bad belly???
     

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