getting through the pregnancy feeling on my own...

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by honeybear, Oct 4, 2016.

  1. honeybear

    honeybear Well-Known Member

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    hi ladies..
    so I got some dreaded confirmations after everything me and my partner have been through that he was most likely in fact cheating or at least talking to another girl...as I discovered she was ringing him at 01.30am over the weekend.
    so despite trying to move on from my broken heart as I do love him but there is no trust there....I'm sad I feel so alone.
    I'm 24 and it's my first baby.
    I don't have a regular person for scans or appointments or even a birthing partner as I'm not close to my sister or mum although I'm back staying with them at the moment my mum likes to control everything.

    i feel embarassed I'm going to appointments and the dad is never there or even my emergency scans. it breaks my heart I have no one to be excited with.
     
  2. TS1982

    TS1982 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry didn't want to read and run xx so sorry you are going through this alone xx have you a close aunt or relative that can come with you to appointments xx sending you love and hugs xx
     
  3. babylove2016

    babylove2016 Well-Known Member

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    First and foremost congratulations. Secondly, your ex is a tw*t and I'm sorry you're going through this.

    Now, shake it off. All you need to keep telling yourself is that you are going to be a fab mum and you CAN DO THIS, with or without a partner, with or without your mum's non-controlling support... you can and you will.

    You will also meet a wonderful man one day that will treat you how you and your baby should be treated. Until that day, look after yourself and your babe - unconditional love right there - focus on that hon.

    x
     
  4. Pambi

    Pambi Well-Known Member

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    Oh I'm so sorry love its worked out like that. You might want to consider a Doula or someone who would like to become a doula (ie for free) as a birthing partner. Ask your midwife or contact your local NCT branch for information.

    Start looking into local mums and bumps groups as they are a great source of people to make friends with. I moved from London to Leeds last year and all the mums groups have been a godsend for meeting people and building a support network - don't get me wrong, it takes time to meet people you click with but they are out there.
     
  5. honeybear

    honeybear Well-Known Member

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    thankyou ladies for your support and kind words.
    I haven't got a close anyone as we don't have an overly close family and my grandma died a few weeks ago. sort of all happened at once.

    it's so annoying that he lives like down the road so I get to learn about all his horrible ways it's hard enough dealing with a broken heart when your not pregnant although I am feeling stronger about it today.

    I have a holiday too look forward too in two weeks.

    my mum's literally just taken over built the baby a new room from scratch told me we have to live here as she's paid for it and I won't cope on my own....or my baby would be taken away.
    between my mum and my ex feel totally deflated and not looking forward to any of it. my ex has ruined it and my mum's smothering me and she doesn't take no as an answer she just grinds you down i can't even put my name down on council because she's listed me here so she would find out and then starts the stuff about owing her money it's just a nightmare. feel totally trapped at the moment.

    I hope things get better for us xxx
     
  6. Pambi

    Pambi Well-Known Member

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    You mum sounds like a bit of a handful but I'm sure she means well. At its extreme, its actually emotional and financial (domestic) abuse to say those things to you, you know. The listing you as living there will not mean anything if you are being emotionally and financially tied into a situation against your will. If it becomes serious a women's aid type organisation may be able to help. x
     
    #6 Pambi, Oct 4, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2016
  7. honeybear

    honeybear Well-Known Member

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    hopefully it will all settle down as she knows I will be looking for somewhere after the baby is here anyway. I suppose knowing what my ex has done probably hasnt helped. I work etc so it's just a matter of saving maybe go private if not council xxx
     
  8. Cathrine

    Cathrine Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for this horrible experience, love!! I sincerely hope that you are able to align yourself with a close friend or family member to come to visits and during birth - you shouldn't go through this alone.
    I'm also 24 and currently 22 weeks pregnant - my husband and I had issues as well, on a different topic, though. So trust me, if I could get my fat belly out of the house, I'd tag along <3
    I hope your pregnancy is safe and normal - and at least you get to have an extra person around in a couple of months ;)

    Stay safe and please feel free to rant away if you need to!!!
     
  9. honeybear

    honeybear Well-Known Member

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    thankyou for your lovely comment Catherine and sorry to read about your problems too i hope you can resolve them :( thankyou for the kind words again I passed my two uni assessments tonight that's a bonus.
    midwife tomorrow will update tomorrow xxx
     
  10. Tigeress

    Tigeress Well-Known Member

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    Aww that is awful hun.. I am so sorry this has happened. I'm 25 myself and up until a couple of weeks ago I swore my partner was out and about cheating. I would sit there in the evening and get all riled up over something minut. My partner never hides his phone, doesn't go anywhere, gets home the same time everyday and leave his Facebook open. But I was adamant. I have no clue why. It nearly broke us. But it's starting to calm down now. I couldn't imagine what I would of done if I had found evidence or proof. It must be so hard for you. But I promise things will get better, time is a great healer and you have a little person on the way that will look to you for everything and you won't have time to dwell. I know it's hard and the days drag an your heart hangs but maybe this has happened for a reason and something or someone bigger and better is on the way for you. Lots of hugs xx
     
  11. Mummylumps

    Mummylumps Active Member

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    I am alone too, second time I have ended up a single mum! lol. I can laugh now because I am used to it but it is no laughing matter, it is something you need to adjust to. Don't worry about going to appointments alone, I noticed this time round a lot more ladies on their own in the waiting room, whether they are single or not, it isn't like we stick out like a sore thumb.

    I am a little anxious about giving birth alone but I am gonna do it and do it the best I can. :)

    Hope you feel better soon and sorry things ended like this for you. xxx
     

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