Getting back on top

[kedi376]

It's been just over two months since I had a D&C and on a day to day basis I am able to push the baby thoughts to the back of head and just get on with life. But not today.

Today I started my 2nd period since the D&C and I was really hoping we may be pregnant again. But no.

It doesn't help that tomorrow would have been my due date for the first baby I lost last year, let alone to still be dealing with the second lost.

It still feels like life is on a hold and I can't get motivated about things. We've been trying for a baby for so so long and then to miscarry just seems so unfair.

I know other people here have gone through it....do you ever really get over this? Or is getting pregnant again the only way? Sometimes I feel like taking all the money we have saved for baby and blowing it on a 6 month holiday - ALONE!

(sorry that my first thread in ages is such a depressing one!)

 

[Sunbeam638]

I'm sorry to read you are so down. I hit rock bottom pretty much at the beginning of jan. The whole wave of grief, frustration and the build up of testing and seeing bfn's was really too much to bear.

I pretty much had a melt down and a week later I had a bfp....craziness. Soneones post (I think it's Carnat) said you wish time away getting to Ov then time stands still in the two week wait. Rings so true

Your 6 month break idea is a good one but its just believing in yourself when you are self doubting and knowing you can get pregnant and you one day see a baby at the end.

I feel differently than I thought I would if ever I got a bfp again. I'm a little worried but more resolved with what will be wil be and content.

But i do feel sad when I read other posts and want to reach out and hug them because it's such a hard thing to go though. So many different barriers some if us are faced with but you will get there! Xxxxxx

Chin up xxxxxx

 

[laurat]

Hey Keidi, you dont need to apologise for your post. I think theres good days and bad and agree with you that I dont think ill be fine truely till I get a BF that lasts past 12 week scan. I dont actually have a cycle since my mc last Feb so extremely frustrating too. I have thrown my emotions really into reading and research about getting and sustsining a pregnancy. Its working for me at the moment but I still have my down days. Big Hug to you!

 

[netty]

Its natural to feel this way sweets, on the 13th march my bubba wud have been due and its like 5 months nearly since my mc. Its soooo frustrating not to be pregnant yet but our times will come lovely, you just gotta try and keep ya chin up hun

I know its so hard, and the pain is so raw but you will get there hunny xx

Sent from my U20i using Tapatalk

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi Kedi,

Sorry to hear that you were having a crap day yesterday (and I totally hear you about a 6 month holiday alone )

I had 3 m/c's last year and spent my time alternating between TTC, being pregnant and shitting myself or emotionally / physically getting over a miscarriage.. Needless to say 2011 was a complete washout for me.

I just wanted to have a viable pregnancy, I so desparately wanted to be pregnant on that all important first due date (4th Jan) but alas it just didn't happen like that.

I am now in my 2nd month TTC 'properly' - I have taken some time to sort myself out so to speak (dental stuff, smear tests, having a break from TTC) and I am also now under the care of a recurrent miscarriage clinic to find out why I cannot stay pregnant.

I feel calmer, more in control and ready to face 2012 and whatever it may bring.

Sorry to ramble on - this was just my rather long winded way of saying that you will get through this and you will find your strength again.

You just need to go easy on yourself, stop putting too much pressure on getting pregnant - your time will come but your body is probably still healing itself.

Enjoy what you do have sweetie and soon your life will be enriched by a little bub!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Emmalina]

xxxx

 

[Hope81]

I hope you will have a sticky bean soon, for all of us mc are so unfair and they completely ruin any following pregnancy experience...

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi Kedi,
sorry to hear you are feeling down, like you I have suffered two miscarriages in a row, and it always takes me (and my OH) a long time to get over it.
The first time I was devastated I couldnt even start to try again until a good 3 months after, even though we started trying again in my heart I knew I wouldnt conceive until after due date, as I just couldnt let go.

I found ttc after a loss s0 god damn heart wrenching, head screwing and such a let down to see that bfn.
For me to finally get that bfp , then to lose again (another missed miscarriage - no signs) was just even more devastating.
That was in early September
We have literally just only started ttc again now. Only now can I feel kind of ready , kind of back to me, but now writing about, my heart hurts.
So, I know for some they can try straight away again,and fall pg straight away but me its not like that.

You just need to give yourself whatever time it takes to heal,and to be strong and ready to be pregnant again.
It will happen , it will . I have just written a thread in LTTC titled ....Inspirational story .. hope for us all.
Have a read, but just try to relax and let nature take its course.

xxxxx

 

[kedi376]

Thanks for all your support ladies, Its so hard isn't it? Wanting something so badly and like one of you said you end up just living from ovulation to 2ww again.

My OH has been brilliant and really supportive. I know he has found it just as hard as me to cope this time. If I do ever get a BFP again I will be even more of a wreck, worrying about everything even more.

Fingers crossed we all get the BFP we want so much.