Gender scan. Anyone else found themselves undecided?

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Debh09, Aug 9, 2016.

  1. Debh09

    Debh09 Active Member

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    I always thought I'd want it to be a surprise but found I'm toying between finding out and not. Such a gap between this scan and when you have the baby.
     
  2. SiameseCatLady

    SiameseCatLady Well-Known Member

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    I was exactly the same. DH was deciding factor in the end as he decided he didn't want to find out. Although I'd love to know what we're having and I cannot wait to meet him/her, I am really glad we decided to wait. We have loads of unisex clothes and to be honest we're not too consigned to boys wearing blue and girls pink etc. so it's been easy, really. We have an under the sea themed nursery and we've managed.
    Cannot wait for birth because of this and I think it will help with pushing (which hopefully I will get to do!)
    X
     
  3. KateK

    KateK Well-Known Member

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    I wanted a surprise with my first and caved the night before my 20 week scan..The excitement overtook me and the fact I COULD find out was just too much to bear! Though finding out was lovely, and I really felt I bonded with her that bit more in the run up to the birth, I was a little disappointed in myself! I am an incredibly impatient person but I am determined this time not to find out.. I just need to stay strong for the scan and then I don't have a choice! I think the whole experience of having a surprise, having my partner tell me the gender, and as siamese says having that little bit of extra motivation during labour will be just lovely. Do what feels right for you - it seems more people find out than don't so we're all an impatient bunch ;) xx
     
  4. Bethanybiggin

    Bethanybiggin Well-Known Member

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    I've decided to find out early I like to be organised!! Finding out at 16 weeks!
     
  5. Mrs P5515

    Mrs P5515 Member

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    I'm in exactly the same dilemma! I'd originally been determined not to find out but I'm already weakening in this, we don't have our 20 week scan until 19/9/16. How to decide.....?!?
     
  6. Prettypee

    Prettypee Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad I decided to find out both times. It is a nice surprise, lets you bond/ celebrate and then when baby was born meeting baby is such a big event /shock I honestly think nothing could have made it more special! I also think in all honesty I wouldn't have been able.to celebrate /get excited at gender after the birth, most people do end up in a bit of shock and it's tough to take everything in!

    That being said I don't know anybody either way who regretted finding out/not finding out apart from one couple who left it to a suprise but were convinced it would be a boy (the whole family were boys). She was a bit disappointed and took a while for her to bond post birth with a bit of postnatal depression... She may well have felt that way with a girl to be fair.

    One comment I will make on the neutral thing is that we new my daughter was a girl but got neutral clothes etc as it was secret from family and didn't believe in the whole girls wear pink, boys wear blue thing. However EVERYONE we met kept congratulating us on our handsome son.... Honestly it's horrible having to constantly correct people when you're so smitten. The hospital photographer even took photos and imposed "handsome prince" on them..... So frustrating!! Needless to say about 2 days after hospital the neutral went to back of cupboard and we bought a obviously girly wardrobe for her. This time round we are going for pink straight away! It's so lovely to show them off... So if your staying team yellow don't overdo the neutral. Just buy enough to last until your first shopping trip! Xx

    Sent from my D6603 using Tapatalk
     
  7. FBTTN8079

    FBTTN8079 Well-Known Member

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    We are staying team yellow & sometimes the temptation is there but I really want the suprise and I want hubby to tell me their genders when they are born :) it's made easier as our families have said that even if we had found out they definitely don't want to know as they want the surprise x
     
  8. kimmyRJ

    kimmyRJ Well-Known Member

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    I chose not to find out with my first and it was just amazing! We were convinced I was carrying a boy from all the old wives tales but when I was presented with a little girl I was so in love and besotted! My husband told me the gender through the tears and it was just a really emotional lovely experience. We brought all neutral clothes before hand but didn't go to mad which was lucky because we got so many clothes given to us that she had enough in all different sizes to keep us going until she was 6 months old, seems people love buying gifts for babies!!

    This time I am dead against finding out again but OH is desperate to find out so there may be some heated discussions before the 20 week scan! The way I see it we are all set up for either with having all neutral from my daughter who is only just turning one and we haven't got rid of anything as we planned to have more that either way I won't be buying much and if people are as generous gifting this time round we will be sorted with enough gender specific things anyway.

    But each to there own and pregnancy is a completely different experience for every couple so just have to do what feels right for you! Xx
     
  9. fcroxy

    fcroxy Well-Known Member

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    We wanted to find out with our second but she had other ideas and had her legs crossed. I had extra growth scans towards the end but we still kept it a surprise as it was over 12 weeks from having the 20 week scan and we had gotten use to not knowing. It was an amazing feeling at birth finding out we had a baby girl and so worth the wait x
     
  10. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    I've found out both times. First time I wait until 20w scan there was no question we wanted to find out. This time we found out earlier at 16w.

    I don't think your more or less excited either way. I think it's rude for people to have input on your choice too. I had someone tell me that there was no point finding out gender because it makes the "pain pointless" I think the fact I am bringing human life into the world and to see and meet my new baby regardless of gender is exciting and motivating enough? Like I'm not aware of one person who had a baby and couldn't be arsed with labour or pushing because they knew the gender??

    We were going to go for a 3d but decided against that as we didn't get one with Jackson and would like the surprise of what or who baby looks like.

    It's definitely a personal choice and I have enjoyed finding out the sex twice. Both have had a name and both I have felt I've been able to bond with better before birth also with Jackson being here it's easy for him to adapt to having a little brother before he comes.

    xxxxx
     
  11. MrsB2105

    MrsB2105 Well-Known Member

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    I found out both times but in my defence the opportunity was just too easy as I work in the radiology department, and my friends really enjoy scanning any of us when we get pregnant lol.

    I do admire people that don't find out though.

    We have had couples come in and ask the sonographers to write it down on paper and not tell them.

    I enjoy to plan though, and I know I would drive myself insane not knowing x
     
  12. mummywanabe

    mummywanabe Well-Known Member

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    I didn't find out with my first but have found out with my second, to be Honest I've found no difference in the bonding between the two, and after I'd had my son I was so dazed you could have told me it was a baby elephant. My husband and I both know but we've not told any of our family and friends so there will still be the surprise element to it all
     
  13. Gravidgecko

    Gravidgecko Well-Known Member

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    I've always said we'd wait for the surprise. Then I started trying to shop for gender neutral baby clothes. The choice is so limited!! It's pushing me the other way now I'm trying to hold out but it's getting harder the longer we have to wait

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  14. Debh09

    Debh09 Active Member

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    I was the same. Had a look into it as was Torn and found a post on a site from lady that bought both girls and boys clothes around a month or so prior and took back what needed to be returned. I think most return policies are 28 days unless it's different for baby clothes I don't know. Most of the time it is 30 days.
     
  15. MrsB2105

    MrsB2105 Well-Known Member

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    It varies from shop to shop, but be careful incase you go over ... You could always buy some some unisex grows and buy a boy outfit and a girl outfit near the time x
     
  16. Mummylumps

    Mummylumps Active Member

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    I found out at 16 weeks with both of mine. I just think it's nice to be able to concentrate on one set of names, picking out prams, cot bedding, little sleepsuits etc. Sometimes there are massive bargains that you can't resist but miss out on if you don't know the gender. I don't go massively overboard with gender specific but it's good to have an idea of what to look for.

    I have a lot of plain white sleepsuits and white and grey stuff, just in case baby isn't a boy like they said lol, also have a bit of stuff from when my daughter was a baby so in that respect I will be covered, but it is just nice knowing for me, I am far too impatient to wait, it's hard enough waiting for an actual baby lol.

    As for bonding, I guess it makes things feel more 'real' for me, referring to baby as he or she, gaining a bit of control in my life when my body is being taken over lol. I also refer to baby as the name I've chosen and if baby is still called that when it's due then I know I have picked a good name lol.
     

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