Gender Dissapointment??

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by cw25, May 30, 2013.

  1. cw25

    cw25 Well-Known Member

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    Anyone else worried about this or suffering from it??

    At first I was SO certain I wanted a boy the thought of a girl genuinely deeply upset me and I can not explain why but it was a huge problem for me...

    BUT now I feel him/her moving and I am growing attached it really is less of a worry for me...

    We find out on Tuesday and I just want to know either way I wont actually know how it'll effect me till then if it's a girl... if it is a boy I will be hugely shocked as Im certain it's a girl but don't know if it's a protection mechanism I've given myself if u get me...

    Was just wondering how other people are feeling and how it effected them??

    I know once he/she is born it won't matter but the want for a son is still there and I do think I will shed a tear if it's not a boy for the son I may never have it doesn't mean I will love a girl any less though....

    Hope everyone is well :) x
     
  2. umbongo

    umbongo Well-Known Member

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    I've always said I don't mind, as it's my first, although I have two step daughters. I am CONVINCED it is a girl though and to be fair I think i will freak out, albeit momentarily, if it's a boy! as I feel i have bonded with squiggle as a girl. I would be a bit sad, for my hubby as much as myself, if I never have a boy, as will only be having two max (if i'm lucky enough to fall pregnant again of course).

    It's a very real thing and some women really suffer, so I have sympathy. I know a healthy baby is all we all want but you can't help it if you're attached to one gender or another, or whatever reason. I thin it's good to be able to talk about it without being berated as ungrateful.

    xx
     
  3. cw25

    cw25 Well-Known Member

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    That's it people are far to quick to judge others and it's something you can't understand unless you've been through it just like depression or miscarriage it is a real issue and should be talked about more.....

    I felt really ashamed and guilty at first but now I don't care what others think about me personally....

    As I said it has improved or I think it has the wait now is killing me though want to know one way or the other to be able to get on with it lol x
     
  4. Pippa1703

    Pippa1703 Well-Known Member

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    I do worry about it just because ive experienced true clinical depression and have now convinced myself that im more susceptible to these kind of things.

    I wanted a boy and was sure it wad a boy. Then i started to think its girl, now that ive convinced myself that its a girl and i have a definite name for a girl I reeeally want it to be a girl! I have a stepson and this is my first baby. I think if we have a girl it'll start to feel like a new experience for OH too because I cant help but worry the whole thing is less exciting for him because he's done it all before.
    Plus stepson has a brother now on his mums side so a sister would be nice for him :)

    So yeah im kinda banking on girl, I really don't know how I'll react if I gwt told boy!
    I know ill adjust and love my baby either way but I will feel a little disappointed for a while, even if just the rest of the day!
     
  5. Rachel80

    Rachel80 Well-Known Member

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    I haven't been through it but it was a very real worry for me, I desperately didn't want a girl, largely due to the relationship I've had with my own mother & I was really scared about how I would react/cope if it was a girl. I am having a boy, which I'm over the moon with. My partner really wanted a boy too. I'm already thinking about the next one, & even the one after that because I would really really like all boys. Everyone is entitled to a preference & these preferences are usually based on very personal past experiences so no one has the right to judge how you feel or what you'd like your future to look like x
     
  6. smnicholson92

    smnicholson92 Well-Known Member

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    Im the same i reli reli want a girl and dont no how i will react if i get told boy i no i will love this baby no matter what but both me and oh want a girl we already have a boy and an angel baby girl this may sound reli bad but i have already atarted planning anotger if this one is a girl not that i wouldnt want this baby if its a boy as all i reli want it a healtly baby but i got my heart set on a girl ive tried convinsing my aelf itas a boys so it will soften the blow if it does turn out to be a boy but i keep goin bak to girl thoughts xxx
     
  7. susan1981

    susan1981 Active Member

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    When I was pregnant with my first, I wanted a girl and was convinced that was what I was having. Had a gender scan at 16 weeks where they said boy. I was actually shocked just because I had been so convinced I was carrying a girl. But even though my preference was a girl then, I didn't care at all because I thought next time will be a girl. But this is next time and I'm having another boy.

    I have to admit that I did feel a bit sad that this baby wasn't a girl but the baby was healthy and the sonographer said that they baby was developing perfectly. I never thought I'd feel like that because it took me so long to fall pregnant with my son to the point where I thought I'd never actually have a baby. But I think it's just that we will now go for baby number 3 in a few years and I will be even more desperate for a girl as I don't think I could cope with 4 children! But if that is another boy then I'll just count my blessings that I have 3 healthy children. Some people will never be able to have children so I just consider myself so lucky that I can have them, whether they are boys or girls x
     
  8. Plaztikman

    Plaztikman Well-Known Member

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    I have had these thoughts, we are desperate for a girl, as its progressed and concerns over the 20 week anomaly scam, we are just hoping for a healthy baby. Girl would be great, but healthy is important. Think of the family's who can't have a baby, be grateful you can, this helped me to get over it :)


    Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk 2
     
  9. Rebecca89

    Rebecca89 Well-Known Member

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    I really really wanted a girl, convinced myself it would be as we are both from families full of girls, even though I had a boy 'feeling' I truly thought it would be a girl, when they told me boy at my gender scan I went into panic mode for a day or 2 and felt quite sad but I'm past it now and happy :) oh has 2 little girls already so I'm excited its something new for us both this time round! Already told him I want to try for a girl ASAP though :p xxx
     
  10. LeaAnn

    LeaAnn Well-Known Member

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    I wasn't disappointed to be having a girl, but I was 100% sure it was a boy. I was glad we asked at our 20 week scan, as it took me a couple of days to get my head around it. I wouldn't have wanted to do this at the birth tho.
    After 2.5 years of trying, I am just happy to be finally pregnant. I don't think anyone should be judged on having a preference, as everyone has their reasons x
     
  11. DiddlePlumbs

    DiddlePlumbs Well-Known Member

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    I would really like a girl for a million and one different reasons. My family is known for having girls - my mum alone had 5 of them lol But obviously the male "chooses" the sex. So, as bad as it sounds, I'm convinced I'm carrying a boy just because I want a girl so much.

    I think if it is a boy I will probably be a little disappointed to start off with (and feel horrendously bad cause I know I should be happy with the fact my baby is healthy) but I strongly believe that I will get over it and bond with baby no matter what.

    Every one has their preferences. We are only human and when there is a chance of two different out comes, we always end up favouring one of them, tis only natural!
     
  12. MrsHop

    MrsHop Well-Known Member

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    I wanted a boy first for so long but I'm convinced it's a girl! We're staying team yellow, I always said I would because I didn't want to find out it was a girl and it ruin the pregnancy for me! I know that is an awful thing to say but now I am pregnant and happy I don't think I mind as much.
     

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