Frustrated and upset

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by buggy1, Jun 16, 2013.

  1. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, this is going to be a long one!
    Had a couple of problems lately, I had quite a lot of itching, feeling hot, feeling sick, then I noticed I was leaking some fluid/discharge, had headaches and really bad back ache. After discussing the itching with my mw she advised me to call labour ward, which I did.
    They asked me lots of questions and I ended up going in. The woman I spoke to on the phone at labour ward was really short with me, I found her rude and intimidating. She didn't think the itching was anything, although she never spoke to me face to face, the woman looking after me suggested a blood test but I heard her run it by this other woman who just said 'she's just itchy, pregnant women get itchy' it was so rude the way she said it. They didnt do the blood test but they left me on the monitor to check the babies hb for an hour and half (they said it would be 20 mins) because they said she was 'too excited;'' and they wanted to see her 'calm down'. All in all it was quite a bad experience and I left feeling worse than what I did when I went in.
    My mw said she couldn't understand why they didn't just do a blood test while I was there to be on the safe side, seeing as I had symptoms for a few days, she came to my house the following day and took bloods which did turn out to be fine.
    While she was here I mentioned I noticed quite a lot of yellow-ish discharge. I wondered if it might be an infection so I thought it worth a mention. To my surprise she said it could be my waters leaking and to keep an eye on it and call labour ward if it persisted.
    I had more the same the following morning, then I noticed an increase in clear fluid but I wondered if that was just sweat as I have been feeling hot. Problem is it soaks in to the liner and it is hard to tell. I didn't fancy calling labour ward again so I called another mw as mine was off that day.
    She said that it would be clear and it would be persistent if it was my waters. She said again to keep an eye on it and call labour ward if it went on. So i left it for that day and most of the next day and it wasn't until late evening I was thinking about calling labour ward as my p/liner was damp I get feeling wet.
    I reluctantly called, not wanting to have to go in again, partly because of last time and partly because my OH is away and I'd be on my own and it was late at night. I asked my OH what he thought and he said just to call, not to be put off and that it was better to be safe than sorry.
    I got the horrible woman again, she recognised my name and commented on how I'd just been in the other day. We talked about it and she said to monitor it over an hour and call back. I did and when I called again I got someone else who asked me to go in just to have it checked out, which I did.
    When I got there they put me straight in one of the delivery rooms nad left me there, on my own, without any assessment, for just over an hour! I was crying by this point wishing I hadn't bothered! Someone eventually came in, did a few checks and said she didn't think it was my waters but would get the Dr to come in and do a speculum to check what was going on.
    That in itself was a pretty horrendous experience and he said he 'caught' my cervix on the way out and that caused some bleeding, which he said was just a little bit, caused by friction. There was quite a lot of blood on the speculum and it did alarm me a bit as I haven't experienced any bleeding in pregnancy so far. He gave me some paper towels to wipe with and there was a little blood but I thought, well he did say there would be a little.
    A couple of minutes later, when I'd been left again, I went to the loo and there was more blood, it seemed to be increasing. I left the bloody tissue in the toilet and showed the woman who was looking after me when she came back in. I asked if the amount was normal, it was more than I expected, she said she would check with the Dr. She came back in and said 'he did tell you there would be a little blood' and I said yes, it was just more than I thought. He came back in and said it was fine and that he didn't think my waters had gone although they can't tell 100% it was very unlikely. 3 hours after going in I was allowed home.
    I didn't have any more blood after that, and I'd made several trips to the loo. It wasn't until about 10 this morning I noticed more, at first it was brown and I just thought that is a bit of old blood left over from yesterday, nothing to worry about. But as I wiped it was coming out more and more and ended up quite a bright red colour, some of it in with some mucus. Obviously I was a bit worried and I thought I'd ring labour ward again just for some reassurance, I just wanted them to say. yes, that is to be expected, to put my mind at rest.
    Well, I got that horrible woman again! She said 'you've been in a few times already havent you', I said I've been in twice, yes. She said well if you come in again you won't be allowed home and you'll have to see a consultant as there must be a reason you are having all these problems.
    She was really short with me again saying things like, 'well how much blood, you need to tell me, I can't see you, I can't tell over the phone'
    She also asked if I was on my own, I said my husband is away, visiting his dad, she said 'well he is going to do anything is he' - I don't know what she meant by that!
    I explained what was happening as best I could and she said about me going in, I said I'd rather not, (I don't want to go there ever again) and I said could I leave it for a bit and see if there is more as this was only when I wiped, it wasn't collecting on pad. She said ok and to ring back in a couple of hours. I haven't called back, I don't want to speak to her again.

    Do you guys think I am being unreasonable? She/they are making me feeling like a time waster and that I'm in and out of there all the time. Although Im 33+2 and I've been in twice and called on 3 occasions. I don't feel at all comfortable going there and they make me feel worse than I did before I went, they don't reassure me at all and I end up feeling stressed, frustrated and upset.
    I don't want to have my baby there now, I feel so put off, but I don't think I have any other options. I don't know what to do :(
     
  2. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Aww bloody hell hun :( They dont seem nice towards you at all!
    It doesnt matter how many times u call they shouldnt make u feel like that! Your the reason they have a blinking job! They are spose to reassure you and look after you and your unborn baby!

    I think uve just lost a bit of plug huni. Which is perfectly normal as the DR irritated it when checking if ur waters had gone.
    The plug can be either clear or mixed with blood. And as you had that lil bleed yest i reckon its just the remains of that.

    Keep an eye on it, and if you start bleeding again then FUCK what that MW says to you and go and get checked. I no u really dont want to go up there but ud be worried at home otherwise.

    Ypour plug can grow back anyway if baby isnt ready to meet the world so dw if u lose more.

    Hope everything is ok hun, chin up and dont worry what that cow or the others say.
    Ive been up the hosp alot for reduced movement and bits and bobs. I had calling and i think most recognise me now. But they dont ever show that they are fed up with seeing me. Sod what they may say behind closed doors tho lol.
    Just think, Soon as your baby is here you will never have to see them again :)


    Make sure u update me/us if anything else happens hun.
    Dont worry about it and dont worry about them! xxxxxx
     
  3. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks a lot, I really appreciate that. I just feel so upset and alone right now as OH isn't here, my mw isn't at work until Tuesday and labour ward feels like it isn't an option for me anymore so I feel like I have nowhere tomturn right now
     
  4. Lau

    Lau Well-Known Member

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    Omg! What a horrible experience!
    Some people just have no heart. I had to call labour ward for reduced movement last week and they were exactly the same, snappy and awkward and just plane rude.
    I hope your feeling better Hun xxx
     
  5. BKR123

    BKR123 Well-Known Member

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    I think you should complain, did you manage to catch this ladies name? I can't remember who it is you all, but there is someone - like a senior nurse but for midwives. Your not being unreasonable at all, I've had a similar experience but no where near a bad, and now I don't want to go up there for anything! But seriously, complain!! Can't imagine how you are feeling at all, you must be so worried :( if you feel in yourself that something is wrong, go to the hospital! You could go to A&E, or is there another hospital near you? Have you phoned your midwife to ask her what she thinks? Are you getting any other symptoms of labour? Not that I have a clue what they would be, but I guess cramping an bad pain! If you are, go to the hospital. And be strong - if she is there say to her, I don't want to be treated by you because of how you've made me previously feel. They should have some sort of feedback and write it all down there. If this midwife can't be caring and concerned about your worries and pregnancy then it's time she left the job! Nursing/midwifery is not a job you can do if you don't care. The patients pain is what they say it is, and she has no right to tell you differently. I hope everything goes okay for you, and if you do go up again, don't worry :) put you and your baby first - you two are more important that some nasty midwife!!xx
     
  6. Chezza

    Chezza Well-Known Member

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    Wow - totally unacceptable treatment IMO. Is there a different hospital you can approach for treatment? Speak to your MW too - no-one should be made to feel the way that you have xxx
     
  7. Bek234

    Bek234 Well-Known Member

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    Omg I can't believe how they're making u feel! Sounds horribly uncomfortable!
    Have u got a friend or relative that could go in with u while ur OH is away?
    U shouldn't let them put u off going in to be checked, baby comes first, but is there another nearby hospital? Maybe u could transfer to?
    Hope things get better hun
    Xx


    Tapatalking. X
     
  8. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, I intend to complain to my mw when she is back at work. I don't think there is anywhere else I can go though :(
     
  9. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    Not really, my family aren't local and I'm not close to them anyway. I have a good friend here but she is heavily pregnant and I wouldn't want to drag her out.
    I only live about a mile from the hospital. The next nearest is about 25 miles away.
     
  10. Bek234

    Bek234 Well-Known Member

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    That is rubbish :( hope ur oh is back soon xx


    Tapatalking. X
     
  11. glowing

    glowing Well-Known Member

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    It is terrible that you have had a bad experience, I know how pushed and stretched midwifery services are, but that is no excuse to treat you like this to the point you don't want to contact them again or deliver there. There is always a band 7 co-ordinator on shift you can speak to if dissatisfied, also midwives have a supervisor and there is always one on call. Or you could contact midwifery manager and explain what is happening. Please don't make this stop you ringing if you are concerned as your baby and you come first not the how busy or stressed the service is.
     
  12. Missbatesy

    Missbatesy Well-Known Member

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    I think you should complain to someone higher up, that's not fair at all they know pregnant ladies must get scared and paranoid about these things! I had a midwife at my hospital who was so horrible and blunt with me! My oh said its probably because its late at night an not busy so your disturbing her peace. I don't know why some people do these jobs if they can't reassure you and make you feel less stressed, which is part of their job! Hope your ok!xx
     
  13. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    I have had two experiances totally diff. The first was when I had a random bleed after sex the week before that had stopped and I wasn't worried about and I mentioned it at consultant appoint with mw not my usual one then she freaked out that iI'd not had a smear before talked to Dr and he preformed speculam exam and smear. Which then caused bleeding and was humiliating and I really was reluctant then told me my bp was high well duh...I was very very very put off. Then a week or so ago a month on from this I had no sex then a random bleed. I rang labour ward who were very reassuring and said unless my waters break or I get fresh bleeding I'd be fine. So I never even went in true enough all has been fine since. I'm hopeful that the unpleasant experiance I had was a one off and generally they will be fine. Never dontt get checked if you feel something isnt right big hugs I'd complain as you keep havin to deal with this one woman xx
     
  14. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    I know they are really busy and they must see lots of worried ladies who don't really need any help, just some reassurance. I can appreciate that and I'm fairly patient waiting around normally, although I draw the line at the hour mark with no initial assessment. However busy they are it is no excuse to be rude or to make me feel stupid. I found a feedback form on the website so I had a little moan on there. Will also speak to my mw next week x
     
  15. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    The woman I spoke to said that if I were to go back in I'd have to stay, they wouldn't let me go home again and I'd have to see the consultant as there must be a reason why I'm having 'lots' of problems!

    That puts me off going back anyway, although to be honest I think that is why she said it!
     
  16. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Ur right hun, no excuse at all!!
    Defo fill that form out and hopefully when ur MW is back in you can speak to her then.

    How you doing atm? xxx
     
  17. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    and ignore her cos if the consultant checks u over and there is no concern they most definately will send you home!

    They wouldnt want a bed used for no reason so sod her! Shes probs trying to scare u off with coming in!

    She sounds bloody lovely doesnt she!!! xx
     
  18. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah that is what I thought. What a biatch!

    I'm ok, having noticed any more fresh blood which is relief. I've got a headache but I think that's because I've been crying and got myself all worked up! Feeling a bit low but I have been for a week or two, I think it's my hormones :roll:
     
  19. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Aww hun try not to let all this bother you.

    Have a lil lay down or take some paracetamol and hopefully your headache will clear up.
    Glad theres no more fresh blood. It did sound like it could of been a bit of your plug mixed with old blood from that stupid DR.

    FX all is fine and dandy from here and u wont need to call until ur actually in labour and that cow isnt on shift!!!!!!!! xxx
     
  20. buggy1

    buggy1 Well-Known Member

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    That's what I'm hoping!
     

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