Frightened. And shy.

Discussion in 'Secondary Infertility' started by Tammy1983, Sep 21, 2016.

  1. Tammy1983

    Tammy1983 New Member

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    Hello

    I am quite a shy person so it's quite hard to reach out to people. I have wanted to get involved with this type of thread for a while but that means having to admit that I need to be on here. I had my son when I was 19. I've ttc again since I was 23 on and off (I'm now 33). My exboyfriend was a heavy marijuana user and I was with him during my twenties. I kind of assumed that his drug use was the reason I didn't fall again....I eventually seen the light, left him and met a lovely man whom I married.

    We have been actively trying for 5 months to conceive but nothing. The last 12 months I haven't used contraception hoping that I'd just naturally catch. I feel very alone as my friends have either multiple children or none and I seem to fall somewhere in between...

    I'm scared of going to the doctors because I don't want to face this. I've never told anyone this before but it's time for me to do something other than worry. They say that most couples conceive within 12 months and I'm confused. If I add up (I have no idea) the cycles without contraception over the last ten years then it'd easily surpass 12 months....should I be worried or should I dismiss my previous attempts due to the exs drug use?

    I'm so sorry to rant. This seems a lovely forum and I'd really like to be part of it.

    Xx
     
  2. Luella

    Luella Active Member

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    Hello, I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this. I can't offer you any advice really about what you should do next but I just wanted to say that you should never feel scared to ask for help or advice if you need it. I realize that is easier said than done - I'm quite shy too and don't like to make a fuss. It can take a frustratingly long time to fall pregnant even for perfectly healthy couples. Hopefully some of the other ladies on here can offer you better advice re what to do next.
     
  3. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    Welcome :)

    I'm also very shy (and terrified of doctors) so going was a huge deal for me. As you have not used contraception for 12 months you would be entitled to have some tests run to see if everything is ok. As a guide I would expect them to run blood tests and an ultrasound for you and a sperm test for your oh to start with. As you already have a living child in most areas that would mean you aren't entitled to treatment, but at least you would know if there was a problem and if there was what you could do about it. Some areas have different rules though, so it is always worth checking.

    The ladies here are a friendly bunch, do feel free to explore the forum and join in any threads you like :)
     
  4. Browneyed Girl

    Browneyed Girl Well-Known Member

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    Hi! I wouldn't start worrying just yet. As Snowbee said, as you've been off contraception for a year you can go to your GP who will run some basic tests to check you're ovulating etc. I'm very shy about things like this but I went to the dr about being unable to conceive and after a while had that many appointments discussing it (I ended up having IVF) that I'd practically speak to anyone about it! Your GP will deal with this on a fairly regular basis so please don't worry, it's very common for it to take longer than expected to conceive but the vast majority of couples get there in the end.

    If you haven't already you could use opks to check that you don't ovulate earlier or later in your cycle than you think you do just in case you're missing the right time.

    I don't think this part of the forum gets many posts but there are lots of ladies in ttc that like to chat xx


     

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