Friends announcements

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by Melanie3103, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. Melanie3103

    Melanie3103 Well-Known Member

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    How do u handle these ???

    Id like to think i'm a good friend but the green eyed monster raises its ugly head!!!

    Out with my NCT Group (we all have 22-24m olds) last night - two announcements - baby news! Both unexpected, neither had any intention of having another for ages. Fell pregnant unexpectedly.

    We have been trying over a year, and they know that too. Wish i hadnt said anything now to them...

    I feel pleased for them but so so jealous - without even trying!!! Grrrrr.....

    I'm in bits this AM... :-( I so want to be happy for them. They get to do it together too.

    Xxx
     
  2. lillith112

    lillith112 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Melanie, I know exactly how you feel, I would say it's normal to feel this way when you want a pregnancy so badly. I even get the green eyed monster when I see a pregnant woman, I think crickey why can't that be me. We've been ttc for nearly a year too, my other 3 I never even had to try to conceive with them, it just happened. I think all we can do is put a brave face on, congratulate them then go home and eat some chocolate. It's hard, I even feel jealous of my partners ex because she has 2 children with him. Hugs to you Melanie, hopefully our turn will come xx
     
  3. Lottie Tobe

    Lottie Tobe Well-Known Member

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    I think it's natural and you can't help they way you feel. Try not to feel bad about it

    i am currently avoiding Facebook because I'm sick of baby photos and scan uploads.

    I am sure after a few days have passed you won't feel as green! Once the shock has eased.
     
  4. Slb24

    Slb24 Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel! In the last few months 2 close friends who I go playgroup with have both said they are pregnant. One told me a couple of days after i miscarried, the other is pregnant and conceived the same time I did. So our pregnancies would now be at the same gestation.

    It's heartbreaking. I spent a whole day in tears. Had a couple of glasses of wine. My oh ran me a bath with candles, let me watch a soppy film. And basically just comforted me. Since then I have felt much better but I still get the green eyed monster.

    I've tried to turn it into a positive and this month I am far more determined. We both have little girls and they will be in the same school year. So I've told myself I have until November to try so our next babies are the same school year. It seems more positive this way :) and has kicked me up the butt a little bit!

    I'm now looking at prams with her, talking about scans, baby clothes, and other things. And genuinely I am happy for her. I will be honest I wasn't that first day lol

    I hope you can find a positive from it. Good luck TTC xx
     
  5. Crinkles90

    Crinkles90 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with the other ladies! defo normal to feel this way hun. sending lots of baby dust your way xxx
     
  6. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    Totally normal to feel this way, so don't beat yourself up about it. I'm insanely jealous, but I'm also pleased for them that they aren't going through the same torture that we are. I also don't want their baby, I just want one of my own.

    Since we have been trying some of our friends (who started ttc after us) have had not one but two babies since. I just think why can't we be as lucky.
     
  7. BlondeP

    BlondeP Well-Known Member

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    It's really hard not to get jealous over things I know.. My friend got a BFP at Christmas - she had been trying but not trying if that makes sense and I was so so happy for her but also insanely jealous! She had a miscarriage this week and it just put into perspective that we are all women, we are all in the same boat of wanting a baby, some are lucky to get that wish within a few months some not and sometimes it's meant to be and sometimes it isn't. But she is still my friend and I could never not be happy for her as you just never know what could happen.

    No matter how jealous you may be, give your friends as much positive support and thoughts as possible as these first few months they will really need it more than anything. And in return, when it's finally your turn they will do exactly the same for you xxx

    ❤️❤️❤️
     
  8. Donna88

    Donna88 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with what others have said; it's natural so don't beat yourself up about it. Just brush yourself off and take time to get over it; you know you're happy for them but it's bound to make you think about what you want as well.

    Your time will come too
     
  9. Melanie3103

    Melanie3103 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks all - i am genuinely pleased but its really hard.

    Appreciate your kind words x
     
  10. LadyE

    LadyE Active Member

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    I completely sympathise with you on this one. I find it so hard to be excited for anyone getting pregnant. My brother in law and his wife recently had a baby. When they first told us it was all I could do not to burst in to tears. When she was born however I didn't feel so bad, still hurt but its the fact i cant even conceive when all around me seem to have no problem.
    i have also come off facebook.
     
  11. Melanie3103

    Melanie3103 Well-Known Member

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    AND the fact they are going to go through it together again (both are due within a couple of wks of eachother)... X
     
  12. Nemi

    Nemi Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly how you feel.

    I have been trying for baby #1 for 2 years now and my cousin announced the other day she was expecting.

    I had to go lock myself in the bathroom while I had a cry!!
     
  13. Melanie3103

    Melanie3103 Well-Known Member

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    They "weren't even trying"..... and we have been 'hard at it' for over a year! They had no intention apparently until their firsts were in school they said...

    I shouldn't feel jealous.. I feel awful for even thinking it. Why can't it be us !?!?!?!?! :-(
     
  14. Nemi

    Nemi Well-Known Member

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    I know it seems so unfair.

    Somtimes I wonder if I should just stop 'trying' because I know loads of people who fell pregnant accidently.

    I have a feeling my body would know I was trying to trick it though and doubt it would work!
     
  15. Melanie3103

    Melanie3103 Well-Known Member

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    And I feel so guilty for the way I feel... these are my good friends, we have been through baby no 1 together.... and have little ones the same age etc etc. I could NOT have coped without these 2 in particular... and now I am jealous of them! Grrrr.....

    What an ugly emotion!
     
  16. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Don't beat yourself up Mel, I think everyone TTC goes through this no matter what point we're in. I'm so sensitive at the moment, every single time someone announces their pregnancy I feel a wee pang at my heart. Especially when people say it was an accident or they weren't even trying. I feel very jealous and bitter! Just stay positive that it'll be our turns soon xx
     

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