Friend problem!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Redbootz, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. Redbootz

    Redbootz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2016
    Messages:
    172
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm not sure if this is the right place but I just have to get some advice and have a rant I guess.
    I have a friend who sufferes with severe depression and anxiety. She has been calling me every day sometimes five times a day for over six months now after she last got out of rehab. I run my own business and have to work so I don't always answer but when I do because I feel bad if I don't she unloads all of her thoughts on me.
    I have always been there for her except this time she is worse than she has ever been I won't go into all of her issues but I am 14 weeks pregnant and I really can't deal with the negativity and stress it's causing me. I have suffered from anxiety in the past so I do understand how bad it can be but I honeslty can't take anymore it's draining me so much.
    I only told her I was pregnant last week after speaking to her husband as he called me to say he couldn't cope with his wife and didn't know what to do with her. So I thought telling them would result in less calls as they would realise I also can't help and that she needs to be sectioned in my opinion.
    But the husband just says she needs me and she will message and text and then call and FaceTime. I have a conscience so I can't just ignore her but aside from her problems she is self centred and selfish and always has been, my husband can't stand her because of the way she has spoken to me in the past. I've known her since we were little. She has also never supported me in anyway emotionally as a friend. Not that I want to hold this against her but I know if it were the other way round she wouldn't be helping me.
    I am at the point where I need to tell her I can't cope with her anymore just i don't know how to be less direct but I feel I need to be blunt and to the point I know if this goes on much longer my husband will probably call them and tell them to back off or he will change my number because he is fed up of my evenings on the phone and my life being interrupted all the time and we are supposed to be enjoying our pregnancy. I have visions of her calling whilst I'm giving birth telling me that something awful is happening as she has earache or something!
    Sorry for the rant and if this is in the wrong place?
     
  2. JD.Deedee

    JD.Deedee Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2013
    Messages:
    1,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think in the most gentle way possible you've got to be straight to her.. I've got ptsd with anxiety and I have friends with anxiety too.. But having anxiety and such things already means it overloads quite quick in your head so never mind having to deal with someone else's problems.. My mother in law can be quite negative in life and be depressing, I just take a step back.. I suppose that's easier said than done but you've got to be straight and let them know they need professional help before it starts taking it's toll on yourself! Sometimes it's better to be cruel than to be kind!
     
  3. CoffeeCoffee

    CoffeeCoffee Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2016
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    This is the truth. It's time for a difficult conversation.
     
  4. Redbootz

    Redbootz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2016
    Messages:
    172
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for your replies, I phoned her husband and told him she needs more help and he phoned me today saying he has had her sectioned. So I hope she can get the help she needs and I can feel a little more relaxed that she is safe and also relieved that I won't get the phone calls. It had become so draining for her husband and myself. I don't want to lose her friendship and hope that in the future when she is better we can have a healthier friend relationship.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice