Friday Night...

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by naomi88, Jul 5, 2013.

  1. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    And I am sat with my dog, a bottle of wine, chocolate and a film.

    Can't seem to bring myself to socialise at the moment... is anyone else finding that? I've only seen one friend since the mc, and had an ok night, but I'm finding I just don't want to be around anyone at the moment. I can't think of things to say, it's like I've lost the skill of making conversation.

    Husband works a lot, which means I am spending quite a bit of time on my own. Usually I have several things planned with friends so I don't get lonely, but preferring my own company at the moment. Going to my parents tomorrow as my sister is home for the weekend, but even that feels like it's going to require quite a bit of effort.

    Just want to feel like myself again!
     
  2. PurplePixi

    PurplePixi Well-Known Member

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    So sorry your feeling like this Hun it's totally shit, I can relate when I went through my first MC I literally could not be arsed with anyone or even coming up with conversation I had zero interest. It seemed to pass so hopefully you will be back to your old self soon but don't suffer in silence a good cry with a great friend can make all the difference.

    Take care xxxxx
     
  3. Balthazar1275

    Balthazar1275 Well-Known Member

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    Yes I am exactly the same I haven't spent any time with any of my friends since my MMC. I have been signed off work for 6 weeks now (3 weeks since i passed my baby) and I really don't want to go back to work. I have no interest in my job anymore or socialising with my friends as they all have kids. I just can't bear to be around anyone who is pregnant or has children it hurts too much. I just want to be a home with my husband and my puppy.

    Michelle x
     
  4. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you hun. Yeh guess it might just take a bit of time to get back to some kind of normalcy. Xx
     
  5. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    I feel the same. I feel like my husband is the only one who understands. My friend from work gave birth the day I found out I'd lost our little bean and I have been working from home this week as couldn't face going in and seeing everyone.

    I feel like the couple of friends that I have told expect me to be over it now... Like they think that because its been a couple of weeks, I should be moving on. I haven't properly talked to any of them about it so I am probably not being fair as perhaps they don't get how much it has upset me.

    I just want a baby now. I am sick of the bloody stress and planned sex and opks. I am sick of other people seeming to fall pregnant so easily. And I am sick of resenting people for having children- feel like ttc has made me into this different, more obsessive person.

    Need to try and get back into the relaxed positive state of mind I had the month I got the bfp, as I know these feelings aren't helping things. I'm just so disappointed though- felt so happy after seeing the baby and hearing its heartbeat and so frustrated that we are back to square one. Just want to stay in bed til I feel ok again.

    I am so sorry you've had to go through this more than once Michelle. Just doesn't seem fair.

    I guess we've just got to take the time to grieve. Do you have a good doctor you can speak to? Xxx
     
  6. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    I used to find that, i would avoid seeing people as i couldnt think of any other topic of conversation other than my mcs. I think you feel alone in your experience and that makes u alienate yourself even more.

    Dont push yourself to do anything that makes u feel uncomfortable, just take baby steps. If you feel comfortable with the one friend, see her more often?

    I went through a phase of being scared to leave the house without my hubby xxx
     
  7. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Lou.

    It's good to know others feel/have felt the same.

    Don't want to end up losing my friends so might have to push myself to make an effort at some point. Xx
     
  8. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    If theyre good friends you wont lose them :) i think people underestimate the pain of mc unless its happened to them, i was quite ignorant until it happened to me.

    I find it less intimidating to see one person at a time, i havent been in a group situation - without my hubby since january.
    Just realised that :| xxx
     
  9. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Yeh as far as I am aware none of my close friends have had a mc, and I don't think anyone really understands if they haven't been through it. It's why this site is great really-no matter what your situation, there is generally someone who has been through the same thing or something similar.

    I think one on ones are probably what I'll keep it to for a while.
    Xx
     
  10. T84

    T84 Well-Known Member

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  11. scn

    scn Well-Known Member

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    I was off work for 10 weeks and didn't want to go back. During that time I went out 3 times, once to a funeral, once to my nieces communion and the Friday before I went back to work I met my friend for lunch. Going back to work was a real struggle, but it was what helped me in the end and I actually felt much better for it.
    Take the time you need, it does get easier to deal with xx
     
  12. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks scn. I think I am going to go back into work on Monday... not sure how I will cope with it yet, but like you I think it might help if I get back into a routine.
    Hope you're doing ok. Has your af shown yet? Keeping my fx for you this cycle xxx
     
  13. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

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    I feel exactly the same. I am ok spending time with my mum, my son and my OH but I am avoiding other people. People dont know we were/are pregnant (having erpc wednesday) but I feel like they will know or talk about babies. Ifeel very self conscience as I have a little bump which to me is hugely noticeable cos I usually have flat stomach. We have been invited to a bbq today and I even cried cos I dont want to go. I think I am going to push myself and just go even though I want to stay home and bake a cake instead.
    I am sure we will all feel better soon xx
     
    #13 lisey, Jul 6, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2013
  14. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Aw lisey, hope the erpc goes ok. If you don't fancy the BBQ, don't force yourself. Perhaps just give yourself a couple of weeks. Xxx
     
  15. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

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    I hope it goes well too, I honestly just want it all to be over now. I have agreed to go but we will leave if I find it too much and I have said for my OH to stay by my side x
     
  16. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    We're lucky to have such supportive OH's aren't we.
    Hope the BBQ goes ok. Perhaps it will take your mind off of things xxx
     
  17. Cosmogirl7

    Cosmogirl7 Well-Known Member

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    Oh Naomi I know exactly how you feel, I was the same. I had to just text my mum and sister to say there was no heartbeat at my scan and couldn't speak to them for about a week after. My sil is heavily pregnant, in her last 4 weeks and seeing her majorly upsets me but its very difficult to avoid her.

    The one thing that helped me was work, I went back the day after D&C as the thought of everyone talking about me and wondering why I was off stresses me out more. I'm so busy at work it took my mind off things. I get what you mean about not wanting to socialise though.

    They say time is the best healer but I wish it would just hurry up. Feels like its going so slow just now and I don't know what's happening inside me. I just want to be pregnant again xxx
     
    #17 Cosmogirl7, Jul 6, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2013
  18. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Same, I feel like being pregnant again is the only thing that's going to really make me feel better.

    You're brave going back so quickly- I had a week and a half off after the ERPC and then a week of working from home. Couldn't face going back as the office is full of baby talk at the moment. Got to get back into things now though. Got a few weeks back in, and then have a week of annual leave booked at the end of August so going to focus on that really. xxx
     
  19. Cosmogirl7

    Cosmogirl7 Well-Known Member

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    I see you've added yourself to the testing thread the same day as me on 19th July. I'm not so sure about that for me now. Just got no idea what's happening inside me now. I wish I'd started opks earlier but with still getting positive pregnancy tests I just thought it was pointless.

    Least you have your annual leave to look forward to. Is your OH off too? That worked well for you last time :)

    Xxx
     
  20. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah we're both off that week. Going to have a couple of days in London then spend the rest of the week doing bits to the house. Yep worked well last time so fingers crossed!!

    Yeah thought the 19th but not sure... that's when i would have tested. Had what seemed like ewcm earlier today so might be ovulating shortly. Have ditched the tests though and just going to keep the bd'ing regular then test when i feel like it really. xxx
     

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