Follow up scan...

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by NatEvz, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. NatEvz

    NatEvz Well-Known Member

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    Tomorrow morning at 9. Finally, its 3 weeks overdue, which im so naffed off about.
    Ive lodged a complaint about how i was dealt with in hospital in comparison to my friend who went in the week after i attended, only she went in for medical management for an 'A' and i didnt. Really pissed off when she told me her experience and compared it to my own.
    Anyway i will updte when i know more tomorrow following my abdo and pelvis ultrasound xxx
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  2. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    Def complain hun, thats ridiculous! how are you supposed to move on she waiting that long and what if you need a d&c, seriously i don't think hospitals take mc's seriously. i had to witness the doc's arguing over who's job it was to see me to prescribe the meds for my mmc!
     
  3. NatEvz

    NatEvz Well-Known Member

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    Ive put the complaint in huni, im waiting for my written response now!I agree its honestly disgusting how they deal with miscarrige patients.Ill post the copy of my complaint cos its too long to type gain. But after the experience i dont feel i had any othe choice but to complain!It is quite graphic in places though xxx

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  4. Sunbeam638

    Sunbeam638 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry you have been through this wait, no excuses they should have referred you to another hospital than make you wait. Hope it goes well as it can be for you xxx
     
  5. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

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    I had an awful experience after my mmc too, ur much braver than me putting a complaint in. I was left 2 and a half weeks to mc naturally after being told at 11 weeks my bean stopped growing at 5-6 weeks. I continued to bleed for 9 weeks with 4 follow up scans and was eventually given a d&c 11 weeks after finding out about my mc.

    I hope all goes well at ur follow up scan gun and u get some answers :hugs: xx
     
  6. NatEvz

    NatEvz Well-Known Member

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    Thank you ladies. I really feel i had to complain kanga, it just kept going around and around in my head.Heres a copy of my complaint....

    Dear sirs,
    I am writing to tell you about my recent experience on at Rotherham general hospital. On the 17th of October I was diagnosed with Cancer under the hallamshire but also found out I was expecting my second child. My husband and I were both thrilled.
    Unfortunately, the pregnancy was not successful, and when I got to 12 weeks I started to bleed. After a trip to A+E and a scan in the EPAU the following morning (7th and 8th December 2011) it was told that there was a sac present but the baby had stopped developing at around 6 weeks.
    I was booked in for another scan a week later (15th December) and it was confirmed that the sac had collapsed and I had suffered a missed miscarriage. I spent 5 hours with a lovely lady named Wendy in EPAU where we discussed what options I had, which took all of 30 minutes, the remaining 4 and a half hours were spent waiting for a Dr who only needed to clerk me in.
    I opted for surgical management and was put on Saturdays emergency list for surgery. I had been handed a leaflet about miscarriages provided by the trust and read it when I got home. It stated that I would be placed in a side room to give me some privacy due to the sensitivity of the issue. This was not the case however.
    When I reached B11 at 8am on the 17th December, I was placed in an open bay with a pregnant lady. Still obviously grieving for the baby I had lost, I instantly felt very alone, sad and vulnerable.
    I was booked in, changed into my gown, cannulated and told that I would be going into surgery first thing in the afternoon providing the list went as planned. I sat and waited on my own until 2pm when my nurse asked the surgeon when I would be going down to theatre. She said she wasn't aware she had anyone left on the list but she looked through my notes and came to talk to me. She asked me why I had chosen the surgical management over the medical management of my miscarriage. I told her it was my personal choice as I didn't think I could face the medical option and I had my 10 month old son at home who I didn't want to be away from for too long, and the surgical option was the quickest and easiest way to achieve going home so quickly.
    She told me she would rather me have the medical management as the sac that was left in my uterus was only small, I wouldn't be in a great deal of pain and she was confident it would all come away with the use of the pessaries. After this discussion I agreed to go ahead with what the surgeon thought was best, although I am from a medical background, I am no expert.
    I waited for a Dr to come to insert the first pessaries from 2pm, they were finally inserted at 8.30pm. Alone again I was constantly reminded of what I had lost and had nothing to think about other than the procedure that was taking place.
    I had two lots of pessaries which did nothing and meant an overnight stay. The surgeon came back to see me at 9am the following morning. One of the ladies on the bay had a visitor present at the time. The surgeon asked if she could do a quick examination, to which I agreed. She said she could feel something in the opening of my cervix. So she did a more thorough examination and informed me that she could see the sac and she was going to remove it.
    She used a pair of surgical forceps and pulled out the remaining products of what was left of my pregnancy and put it in a kidney bowl to be sent of to the labs to be tested. It was so painful and I was offered no pain relief.Although the surgeon was confident she'd got it all.
    I was mortified and deeply upset by what id just witnessed. Id chosen the surgical option in the first place so I wouldn't have to put myself through any more trauma than id already been through, but to have to do it on a bay with other ladies present and their visitors, without the support of my husband, is something I don't think I'll ever forget.
    I was told that the surgeon would be back to see me later and if all was well I could go home. Again I was left alone and was obviously very upset.
    A different Dr came to see me at around 2pm to do another examination. He said my cervix was still slightly open so that meant there may be something still left in my womb and that I would have to go to surgery if it didn't shut in the next couple of hours and that I had to starve from then on.
    I was devastated. It felt like having the medical management was a complete waste of time an emotional effort and I would probably have to go to theatre anyway. My husband came in at the allotted visiting time and we waited for the surgeon to return.
    She came at 7.30pm and gave me another internal, told me my cervix was shut and that I could go home. She asked if I had been eating and drinking, so I told her what the other Dr had said. She apologised, looking puzzled and said that was never the plan for me. I felt so tired, drained and fed up that I didn't mention the total lack of communication that had occurred there.
    I was told I would need a follow up scan in a week to check that my womb was empty, but the department would get in touch with me with details of the appointment. That was over 2 weeks ago and I am still waiting. I cannot put this ordeal behind me until I know its completely finished.
    I am not writing to complain about the members of staff, on the whole they were very good. What has prompted me to email you is that my best friend, attended the hospital last week for a termination. She had exactly the same procedure as me apart from she'd chosen to terminate and I hadn't. I do understand that this issue is just as sensitive as a miscarriage but I feel it should be dealt with in the same manner.
    My friend was given her own room, her boyfriend was able to stay with her throughout the entire procedure and she was offered gas and air for pain relief. All the things I feel would have made my experience more bearable and would have meant a far more compassionate level of care had been delivered.
    Instead I was grieving, on a ward full of strangers, without my husband and laid facing a lady I would have gladly changed places with. I felt I was treat as a faceless patient, just another number and with total disregard for my thoughts and feelings. My husband was grieving just as much as I was and wasn't included in any of the experience.
    A cancer diagnosis and a missed miscarriage in the space of 3 months will take a lot of time to heal, but if one woman can benefit from my experience and email it will be worth it.

    Yours Faithfully

    Mrs Natalie Evans
     
  7. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

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    Wow ur experience at the hospital sounds just awful. I am so fortunate that my d&c procedure was dealt with amazingly. I had my own room and my friend stayed the whole time, even when I was in theatre (my oh couldn't get off work due to a new job)

    They deal with mc so differently in different areas, and unfortunately there is always something they don't do right especially when we are grieving so much.

    Ur letter seems great and I really hope it makes a difference :hugs: xxx
     
  8. SmallPurpleCat

    SmallPurpleCat Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe what you have been through. Well done on writing that letter of complaint. I hope it means some changes are made and no-one else gets dealt with so insensitively.

    I hope the scan tomorrow goes well.
     
  9. NatEvz

    NatEvz Well-Known Member

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    My scan wasnt clear, she could still see some bits of tissue and some clotting in my womb. She also said my womb lining was too thick at 15mm so she said theres definitely something still in there. Ive got to wait for epau to contact me monday to discuss my options but surgery is most likely. Im so angry and upset, i cant stop crying. If theyd done the d&c like id wanted in the first place or scanned me when they should have this could have all been over now xxx

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  10. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

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    Aww hunny, I understand completely, it's so frustrating that they don't even listen to ur wishes at all :hugs: I wanted a d&c on 20th June and didn't get one til 26th Aug!! At least they are hopefully going to help u on Monday. Thinking of u :hugs: xxx
     
  11. NatEvz

    NatEvz Well-Known Member

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    Thank you kanga, it means a lot xxxx

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  12. netty

    netty Well-Known Member

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    its disgusting the way you were treat, i live in doncaster and went to the infirmary here as i was in agony passing a nearly 11 week old baby, when i caled ambulance they wouldnt come when OH said i was miscarrying at less than 20odd weeks, they said on the phone ''oh.......just an mc, we will be there in 45 mins. The gas and air didnt work in the abulance and then i was put in a curtained cubicle in A&E, given a cardboard dish and a commode and left to lose the baby, a doctor whothen came in was appalled that i had no pain relief and thankfully gave me a canister of gas and air and sat with me holding my hand until the worst was over and talked me through it all.

    Her and a couple of nurses apologised to me but i felt traunmatised, then i carried on passing bits at home when i was told it was all gone?!

    the treatment of MC should seriously be over hauled as i was also placed with pregnant women the day i found out i had mc, glad you wrote the letter hunny and i hope it gets sorted
     
  13. Daisy2011

    Daisy2011 Well-Known Member

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    Well done you for having the guts to complain. They treated you so badly an it was definately the right thing to do to underline how that made you feel and that it was wrong.
    Its on the record now . Hope that you can start to put this horrible time behind you mend your body and heart and start to look forward again.
    Hugs x Daisy
     
  14. Sali2012

    Sali2012 Well-Known Member

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    Dear Natz

    So so sorry to hear about your loss and the experience. It must have been devastating. And well done for taking it forward. I think sometime people forget that miscarriages are not just physically painful but also mentally and emotionally. Some kind words and caring attitude wouldn't do any harm! I was very lucky with my hospital and the nurse who dealt with me. I can't even began to imagine what it would have been like if I didn't get the support however there was on particular dr I saw that I wasn't happy with and luckily I didn't have to stay with her for too long! I just hope that you get some sort of response and justification to why your friend and you were treated differently and yet having the same procedure but different circumstances! Not forgetting that you were grieving and a lot more emotionally fragile than your friend! Good luck an wish you all the best for future xxxx
     
  15. NatEvz

    NatEvz Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for all your support ladies xxx

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  16. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Just read this honey! Im hope for the best! Big Hug! Xxxx
     
  17. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    You deserve an unreserved apology from the docs. I've you'd had the requested surgical management you'd have been done an sorted in 15 mins. I reckon you got knocked off the surgical list so they persuaded you to go medical to cover their own backs with out thought or regard for your feelings. Its disgraceful! Well done on writing that letter. Its so clear that there were mistakes made its a very well written complaint and they should apologise for your treatment. I'm amazed that some that happens so frequently it STILL so badly managed in hospitals. I thinks its cos we are so traumatised we don't complain enough. We didn't complain cos we got an immediate apology when i refused to see the doc in question unless there was an apology. But we all need to be pushing to be treated humanely and with respect for the loss we've suffered. :hug: nat, you are so strong and have dealt with so much xxxx
     
  18. NatEvz

    NatEvz Well-Known Member

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    Well nobody contacted me today so at 4pm i rang them. I spoke to the sister in charge at th epau and i saw her when theyd diagnosed my mmc. The staff are genuinely lovely there. Anyway, the ultrasound department hadnt passed on my scan results or information to the epau. Anyway AF arrived yesterday evening and i passed something majorly gross so i told the nurse this over the phone. So she said that she would book me in for a rescan in 10 days that way it would give my period chance to finish. I feel better knowing things are moving xxx

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  19. cosmicgirl

    cosmicgirl Well-Known Member

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  20. netty

    netty Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: at least things are moving on now sweety hope ur ok hun
     

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