First time mums with unplanned pregnancies..

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Laura1992, May 27, 2016.

  1. Laura1992

    Laura1992 Well-Known Member

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    Hope no one is offended by my question, but I wondered if anyone else is unplanned pregnant with their first, and how they're feeling about things?

    I'm still in shock about it, and generally feel good and calm but now and again I feel really overwhelmed. I guess this is normal whether is was planned or not though. Sometimes I feel daunted by the prospect of 18 years of someone depending on me. I'm someone that loves travel and adventure and my own company, and I've always been a bit of a commitment phobe.
     
  2. KeelyT90

    KeelyT90 Well-Known Member

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    I'm not a first time mum but last time, due to an abusive relationship, I went through the pregnancy alone and raised my son by myself until I met my partner. It was the scariest time since I had a very difficult pregnancy but I came out the other side and it only shows how strong I've been. I'm proud of myself.

    My main thing that I kept going over was "how am I going to look after a small person" & "my life is about to change forever"
    And it did but it doesn't stop you from being you.o. Best achievement in life! You can still do the things you love. Being a mum doesn't have to change everything you can still make time for yourself :) xx
     
  3. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Laura!

    I was a first time mum at the age of 19 last time, and my pregnancy was completely unplanned and it was all a bit of a messy situation to be honest, but I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy and I can honestly say everything makes sense when you see that baby!

    My mum was really adamant that I should have a termination, but I really didn't think that was an option and I felt so guilty even thinking about it, so I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy, and as soon as that gorgeous little baby was handed to me in the delivery room, I just completely fell in love with my little baby girl.

    She is almost 5 and a half now! And honestly, I won't lie, it has been incredibly tough at times, I was so young and just wanted to go out with friends until she was about 2 then I really knuckled down into motherhood but it took that long for me to actually get into motherhood. I did breastfeed for the first year then after that everyone wanted a piece of my daughter so she was pulled pillar to post sleeping round grandparent's houses etc, and me and her dad split up so I just went a bit wild for a year!

    But she's at school now, she is very independent and I am back for round two! So I think this time it will be much better because I have a lovely Fiance and my daughter to help me with the baby and we are in a good financial position etc.

    I wish you all the luck in the world with your pregnancy, just take it as it comes, its hard sometimes, but there are some incredibly rewarding times and my daughter is like my little buddy!

    I hope you enjoy pregnancy for what it is, its a miracle if you think about it, some people never get the lucky part of ever becoming pregnant and it is truly magical that your body can build a whole other human in 9 months, and labour is incredible. Then the baby is just this ball of your DNA that you love more than anything in the world :D
     
  4. Laura1992

    Laura1992 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Keely and Flexilexi, thanks for replying, it's made me feel a lot more positive. I'm having a bit of a wobbly day today, especially after a colleague just went on about how much he doesn't want children, and all the reasons why, and how I obviously wouldn't be thinking about it yet as I'm too young (24). He doesn't know I'm pregnant. Ugh, bad timing for him to say all that!
     
  5. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Oh god totally bad timing!! Lol he will feel bad when he finds out though... Lol xxx
     
  6. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Both of mine weren't unplanned but even so it still can take a lot to get your head around! I fell really quick trying first time so that shocked me and the fact pregnancy and babies were a new thing to me.

    Don't worry about everyone else's comments. They are only based on their opinions. I had my first at 21 second I'll have at 25. And the thought of being responsible for two tiny peoples well being and emotions does get a bit scary because again it's unknown but I've no doubt that it's totally worth it. It was the first time.

    Try and enjoy your pregnancy as once you have that baby you'll realize how fast it all passed.

    xxxxx
     
  7. KeelyT90

    KeelyT90 Well-Known Member

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    24 is a nice age I think. I was 23 when I was pregnant with my son. I'm now 26 pregnant with baby 2 xx
     
  8. AnnaElizabeth

    AnnaElizabeth New Member

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    My first wasn't planned! Both of us were so scared. I didn't even take a test until I was nearly 9 weeks pregnant. And then I spent the whole day crying when I tested and it came up positive, as I didn't feel that I was ready. We told work before our families and I remember us both seeing our Personnel Manager and her saying how scared we both looked! My partner and I both work in the same place, it's how we met. But she said we'd been going out for a while, and asked us how we felt. Was nice for someone else to know. As we didn't get out dating scan until 17 weeks. But I don't know what I'd do without my son! And although it wasn't easy we've done it, I remember my health visitor saying how calm I was after he was born.

    I'm now 6 weeks pregnant with our second - been trying to persuade my partner for a year!

    I think it's scary if it's planned or not though. As I'm excited to be pregnant again, I'm scared about looking after a newborn again as every baby is different, and having 2 will be harder.
     
  9. annijakr

    annijakr New Member

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    I went to meet my bf for the first time in Canada on a tourist visa and got pregnant.. I had to go back to Europe, so we're expecting but we're in 2 different countries, both completely broke.. I am keeping the baby and he's excited to have it with me too although it seems like we won't be able to be together for a good while. It's a really tough time for me and on some days I'm confident that I can do this but on some days I'm so lonely and scared. I hope after going trough this all there will be great rewards! :)
     

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