First Early Pregnancy Miscarriage - How to cope?

[MK24]

Positive test 2 days ago then another yesterday. Stabbing pains in my stomach all night and awoken by red Niagara falls having poured through my clothes. Doctor has confirmed miscarriage this morning.


I don't want to move from my bed, mood so low. First pregnancy...first miscarriage...TTC for 7 months.

 

[BunnyN]

So sorry you are going through this. I had an early loss with my 1st pregnancy too. I found it really hard to cope with emotionally. Although in many ways a later MC is harder an early loss is particularly hard in its own way. It leaves you grieving but without quite knowing where you stand. It is a funny combination of heartbreaking and confusing. Its like you were never really pregnant and baby wasn't more than a few cells but at the same time you were pregnant and it was your baby and you were so excited about it and about the future. My advice is not to be afraid to grieve. Bottling it up just makes things worse. Try and find someone to talk to and try and work through your feeling. Its good to have someone in real life, especially try to talk to your OH. Men sometimes deal with these things differently so it takes a bit of explaining for them to understand how you feel. The girls on here are great too, its nice to speek to people who really get what you are going through.

Although at the moment you are probably just sad about loosing this baby when/if you decide to TTC again there is every reason to be positive about the outcome of future pregnancies. Unfortunately early losses are common but are rarely part of a greater problem. It is thought that they are usually caused by a random genetic problem in the baby. I got pregnant my next cycle and DD is now 3. We also have a 18 month old. Sadly we then suffered another loss at 10 weeks (I am 36 now so my chances of MC are higher than normal) but I am 15 weeks pregnant again and things are going well.

Hugs and look after yourself.

 

[BunnyN]

On a side note, how did the doc confirm MC? Did he take blood tests? Although he is likely right to officially confirm an early loss you need two blood tests taken at least 24hrs apart. If he didnt do that it might be a good idea to do another home test in a couple of days to confirm it is negative. It is possible to get heavy bleeding without loosing the baby. Also if your pain doesnt improve soon dont hesitate to get checked out again to rule out an ectopic pregnancy which can be dangerous.

Once again sorry for what you are going through.

 

[MissCharli]

I am really sorry to hear that BunnyN has pretty much said everything that I have said, I also lost my first pregnancy (and only so far) at 6 weeks, but I'm here if you want to chat x

 

[Thomo0903]

Hi MK24 I also recently lost my first pregnancy at about 5.5 weeks. I had had two positives, but then a week after the first positive I started spotting and feared the worst. Took a pregnancy test to 'put our minds at rest' and it was negative. I bled heavily the next day, and then spotted for a few days after that.

I completely agree with what Bunny said. It is both heartbreaking and confusing. You are grieving both for an actual baby that you already loved, even though you will never know anything about it, and the idea of a baby that you really wanted. For me it has now been a couple of weeks, and the pain in much less raw, but I think it is one of those things that will always feel like a cruel trick, but at the same time almost surreal. It was particularly hard because we found out whilst on holiday in America (which is my favorite country), and that felt really special.

At the time I couldn't even face the idea of starting TTC again, because it felt callous almost. I have now come to terms with that, and we are actively TTC. I actually now want it to happen as soon as possible, so that it will feel like part of one journey. However I am still not drinking, not drinking coffee etc. because I feel not quite ready to move on, even though I barely had time to start feeling pregnant. It probably isn't healthy, but it helps me maintain a sense of impending motherhood.

I don't think anything anyone says will really help, but I hope you are ok. Make sure you take time to cry and be with family.

 

[BunnyN]

I didnt drink alcohol or coffee for a long time after my losses either. I just couldnt bring myself to. Infact after our early loss I became pregnant again quickly so never did start again. I dont mind not drinking alcohol but I found coffee really hard to kick this time so kind of wished I'd carried on not drinking it, lol.

 

[Dswansea]

Evening ladies, I also had a MC, mine was 7 weeks, after only TTC for 4 months thought all our dreams came true, took three tests on Saturday 28/05/2016, by Wednesday went to the Drs & had it confirmed but also I had a water infection so they gave me antibiotics to take, by the following day I had started bleeding & the following Monday went to the early pregnancy unit & it was confirmed there was nothing there, we were devastated, I didn't bother with the blood tests I knew there was nothing there & tested on the 08th June to find a negative result. Heartbreaking wasn't the word. We left the early pregnancy unit that day I was so numb I even went straight back to work. There are days I wake up & think I can take on the world & feel like I can cope & other days I don't even want to get out of bed! My husband has been my rock through this, I keep thinking things would be different if I didn't have a water infection & it's my fault! I have never had a water infection in my life & had no symptoms whatsoever, just feel useless! We have both agreed we have started trying again straight away. The only advice I can say is to focus on the future, the nurses on the hospital stressed to me 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage but you just wish it never happened to you! All the luck on the world for the future ladies!!! Xx