Feeling very selfish

[Marmite]

Ive started feeling quite jealous at the moment, I knew that having a baby would turn my life upside down, and I would have little or no freedom e.t.c. but I have realised that my boyfriend will still have a fair bit of freedom... he will still be living with his Mum and so will escape alot of the nighttime feeding/changing e.t.c, he will be able to escape when it all gets to much, whereas im pretty much gonna be stuck.

Also... ive started losing my friends already, its like im a different person and they just don't really want to know anymore.... a few have been nice enough to meet up with me a couple of times, but mostly they avoid me now....

I know it's not really about me anymore, I guess hormones are getting to me particuly today maybe, just feel down about it all, and really guilty for thinking these things. Pretty selfish really....

 

[libs]

Unfortunatly that's the way things work - wish they didn't - at 19 I had the baby, the cost etc and (as the CSA was no good then either) he got to carry on with his life at university - no cost, no interruption, no hassle, no consequences

Course now he also doesn't have any relationship with our son, whereas I have a fantastic very appreciative (most of the time ) son - who I got to watch say his first word, take his first step, go to high school etc

My friends did change - we had different interests, but I made new ones. I have to be honest - now I'm back in touch with them all - most of them now have toddlers - and erm...much as I love some of them I have no desire to sit in a wacky warehouse now I don't have to - but just as they came back to me when Josh got older, and I'll spend more time with them later - I'm sure your friends will come back to you

 

[Marmite]

thanks for the hug, I know it works like that....

it's weird, I was fine with it being that way, and now im stressing about it

 

[libs]

14 years later I still have days like that and when pregnant and the first year I had a lot of them - don't worry - your not selfish or weird

 

[soulem]

When I was pregnant with my daughter at 18 all of my "mates" stopped talking to me for some strange reason. I was really upset for ages until I realised that they couldnt really be true friends as that was the one time I felt I really needed a friend and they werent there for me.

I got a phone call from one of them when I was near to my due date just asking how I was and I had a complete go at her for ringing me up after all that time. They were just nosy to see if id had the baby or not!!

I do not speak to them still, Im now 25, I made new friends and they ae the best friends ever!!!

Im sure you wont end up lonely hun! If the friends you had dont come back there are new friends just around the corner!!

 

[Squiglet]

I used to feel quite jealous of my ex.... mainly because he got to go off and do whatever the hell he wanted too while I had the responsibility of caring for a baby... It was worse when friends asked if I wanted to go out and I had to turn them down... then they would start saying things like, you've got so boring since having a kid.... but they just didn't understand...

People I know still do it now... but I am much less accepting of their nagging... I just tell them straight that if they had any responsibilities in their lives they wouldn't say such stupid things...

My ex has gone off now and pursued his dream of joining the army.... at first I was jealous, because I would have loved to go off and do my masters degree then doctorate, but then I have this wonderful daughter who thinks I'm the best mummy in the world.... and well... I would never have been the best in my chosen field of work ... but I am the best in the field I never expected to take... being Tia's mummy. My ex can't say that... and now I don't feel jealous anymore....

 

[zebrastripes]

That's the way it is unfortunately.That's why whenever my bf is around,he is the one doing the changing etc.It's not fair,because after spending a couple of hours being a dad,they more or less get to go home and do what they want.You're not being selfish at all

 

[Marmite]

thanks guys.

im freaking out a bit less now, just had a moment

 

[sophie-jordan]