Feeling Rejected - OH avoiding sex.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by xSebbiesMumx, Apr 19, 2016.

  1. xSebbiesMumx

    xSebbiesMumx Well-Known Member

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    Well..This one is sort of a biggie to me but ill go ahead and tell the story anywho!, me and my OH have agreed to TTC #2 as of last month so I went ahead and stopped taking my birth control and decided to track my ovulation with OPKs, last cycle I got a +ve on CD13 and geared myself up!, anyway..My OH then got gastroenteritis..I know it cant be helped but of course my period slipped on by and we find ourselves on cycle #2 and CD12 and the OPKs are getting a bit darker each day

    Me and my OH haven't had sex in many a month and I just think its me :(..Maybe I'm not attractive to him anymore or ive put too much weight on (ive always been self conscious of my figure or lack of it lol!), I mean we still do cuddle and kiss so not all is lost, but I'm sure if you're TTC you have to shag..theres no such thing as immaculate conception!

    My OH has severe depression and hes on really strong anti depressants, I know when I had them shagging was the last thing on my mind..But now they've established In his system and hes used to them..I cant see much of an excuse anymore

    The other week I gave him the best back massage ever, I really gave it my all!, that and inner leg massages usually get him going..Nothing!! he just rolled over and went to sleep!..i felt so rejected!, unattractive and bloody frustrated!!:mad::mad:

    Ive tried everything..From massages to lingerie and still nothings swaying him towards me!!

    Whats so wrong with me to merit not getting intimate with me? :(..Ami I really that unattractive?
     
  2. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Aw hun, unfortunately I think you need to ask your OH that last question? Although I'm positive you aren't!

    Could the anti ds be affecting his sex drive? Or could he possibly be changing his mind about ttc and avoiding sex rather than be honest?

    I think you really need to have a big chat with him, it's going to end up making you feel really down! Sending hugs xxx
     
  3. raisingingrid

    raisingingrid Active Member

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    If I didn't know we were completely different people, I would say you are me! I am 18 weeks today and I have noticed that my OH and I haven't had nearly as much sex as we used to. Sometimes, I even try to plan ahead or mention something that I would like to have sex that night and he even rejects me. It's hard on your feelings and really makes you even MORE self-conscious. I am the same way about my figure (or lack there of). Before I was pregnant, he was turned on by me and really liked my appearance...but now that I am pregnant, I am going to be gaining more weight, and it scares me that our sex life will be completely non-existant. We do still cuddle, kiss, tell each other we love them...but the sex life is diminishing fast. I think it is important...first and foremost, that you know, no matter what, that you are beautiful, inside and out. You are able to carry a child and nurture it and that itself is amazing. Second, I think you need to spill your guts to your OH and really tell him how you feel. Let him know you don't feel attractive and what you are worried about. Hopefully he will really listen and give you the reassurance he needs. After I told my OH that I didn't feel sexy anymore and that I'm only going to be getting bigger, he has been doing a way better job at letting me know that I look good...and he even feels my tummy and talks to the baby inside. Even if the sex isn't there, I am still thankful that he loves me and wants to be with me and is happy about having a baby. When the time is right, and when he is ready, I know my OH will let me know he wants to have sex...but I have learned (the VERY hard way) to be patient with my needs...have you considered to watch porn on your own? He may just be in a weird funk with his depression and mixing a baby into it may be taking a toll on it. Sit down with him, and let him express his feelings, then you after. Good luck and remember, you are always beautiful; inside and out
     
  4. xAngelx

    xAngelx Well-Known Member

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    I know the feeling my OH will go through phases where he wants sex but them weeks/ months will go by and he has not interest. Like you I have tried everything but it just get a list of excuses. I though it was his meds for depression too but nope he has been on them a long time.

    Like you we are TTC and yeah you need sex to make babies so I can see this being a long process when it needn't be as long as this will make it.

    Hope you managed to get things sorted with your OH. If you ever wanna chat to some1 in the same boat drop me a line.
     

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