Feeling lonely !

[June17baby]

I feel so alone. I’m not sure if all men feel different to us women during pregnancy but it seems as if my partner is so disconnected from the whole thing. He never mentions the pregnancy or baby unless I do and dosent even want to come to the scans ! He says he is really excited and at the 12 week scan he did get all emotional. Is he just nervous or is he being a complete idiot ! Help ! I feel lonely as I’m in a different part of the country to my family (as I moved here to be with my boyfriend) . I’ve had two mmc previously at 18 and 10 weeks and I’m scared. I need some support. I’m currently sixteen weeks.

Thanks Ladies !

 

[kirlou92]

Sorry it's took a while for a reply. My husband has never been any good at being there for me or understanding me. He actually becomes more needy himself when i'm pregnant or unwell! Reading your post was like reading what my hubby was like in my first pregnancy. I practically had to force him to the appointments and explain why I needed him there. I used to say to him I didn't think he was bothered about this pregnancy / baby but he would always say he was excited and he did enjoy the scans/ felt emotional.

Honestly, with my hubby he just doesn't know how to sympathise with other people and he doesn't know how to show he cares. But I know he does! I'm pregnant again now and he's the same again so this time i'm going to all the midwife/hosp appts alone and just including him in the scans.

Men can't see what's going on inside us, and a lot of men can only relate to it if it's visual. I found my hubby felt more connected after seeing a scan, or seeing my belly move. But again I had to prompt him to put his hands on my bump or talk to my belly, he never took the initiative.

Also, during labour, he kept leaving the room and swapping with my mum, which I thought was because he was getting fed up. But turns out he couldn't bare to see me in pain and kept going outside to cry (my dad told me)

I think your boyfriend cares, he might just be struggling to show it in the way you think he should. Do you get to speak to your family on the phone? I made a point of talking to my mum every day about my worries etc. and it helped me a lot x

 

[June17baby]

Thank you so much for your reply. My belly seems to have ‘popped’ and he’s started making more effort now it’s viable to him. I think your right and he does care he just finds it hard to express his emotions. It’s getting better as the pregnancy progresses but it’s really helped hearing from you. Thank you again for your reply ! X

 

[kirlou92]

I'm so glad I could be of help and glad he's showing more interest I think a lot of men can be this way! x